FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Why the computer over me?

LittleCherubs
Community Member

Why do I go to bed alone every night? Why does he stay up til some silly hour watching YouTube videos or playing games? Why am I the only one to get up to the kids?

feeling so alone and unappreciated

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi LC, welcome

Its not hard to become addicted to the games on computers. Without planned boundaries the cycle of tiredness will the effect the rest of your relationship.

There is other possibles. He is bored with life and looking for stimulation, he might be immature, he might have issues with you or he feels like its his quiet time.

In a healthy relationship there is your time (he looks after the kids) , his time and family time. If that is out of whack there will be damage done.

have a quiet talk to him. Ask him nicely if he can change 2 or 3 nights a week to not having computer games and spending time together. Set up a board game or watch tv, but no computer.

if that fails its off to a counsellor with or withoit him. If without him i wouldnt let on about your discussions with the counsellor. He can attend if he's interested.

Responsibilities should be close to equal.

Tony WK

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hello LittleCherubs, firstly please let me welcome you.

You are not sure what he wants to watch when he's by himself, and once it begins he becomes addicted whatever it is youtube or games.

Try and change the mood a few nights a week, set the atmosphere in a 'you 2' only time, set a routine where 3 or 4 mornings you get the kids up, then vice-versa.

If there are any underlying problems then I too suggest booking an appointment with your doctor, together or by yourself. Geoff.

LittleCherubs
Community Member

Thank you Tony and Geoff.

We have tried the marriage counselling avenue and also just talking. He has said that gaming is his life.

He says I have a communication issue as I don’t talk to him. I don’t only because I’m afraid of his reaction.

He works in hospitality so he is used to being up late.

he gets a bit of him time while playing games with his friends. Me, nothing. I’m either home with the kids doing housework or I’m working.

Be_Kind
Community Member

I feel the same as you Little cherubs, when you do ask for help you always get some excuse, i wouldn’t even dare ask him to meet a counselr with him, I’d get the “what for!?”

Im a mum of 2 and work with kids, I’m over asking for help, or asking in general, I’m tied, I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m hurt, I’m proud but I’m also very confused.... I love him but I hate him, all at the same time, I’ve been with him for 18 years, (since I was16) I just feel like I’m going around in circles, are you the same?