I am a 21-year-old F, and all my life, my grandparents on both sides of my family have made my life a living hell. For context, my parents have been together for 20 years, since I was born, the firstborn of three girls. Despite my utter hatred and inner turmoil I have over my grandparents, I love my parents completely; they are my world and understand me as no one else does. I often joke that my mum is my best friend, but I truly mean it. I've struggled with friendships in the past and still do, but my parents and siblings have been there for me no matter what and truly get me like no one ever has. I should also mention ive never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy before, this seems unrelated but i promise you it is for later. As my mum often tells me, " this is why you dont have a boyfriend, because you cant even talk to your grandparents and treat them with respect." This honestly wrecked me far more than she knows, as not having a partner is a deep insecurity of mine.
I made the decision to cut my grand parents off, from both my mothers and fathers side when I was 18, this isnt a decision i took lightly nor one i took in vain. It had been a gradual buildup of intense trauma and resentment over my entire childhood and teen life that led to this choice. I wish I could bring up specific memories that led to this choice, but due to the word limit and my brain not remembering or forcing myself to forget the trauma, I won't go into it. All you need to know is they are bad people from a different generation who have never taken the time to get to know me and expect the relationship to be completely one-sided. Even years after making this decision, I still have worries: " Did I make the right choice?" " Is this really for the best?" I cannot express how often I feel this, especially since all my University friends are close with their grandparents and constantly express how grateful they are to have them in their lives. I often lie when they are brought up in conversation, saying, " Oh yeah! I love them, they are so sweet." Just to brush it off - as it isn't worth going too into depth about it.
Getting back on track now, my parents both wish I would talk with my grandparents more and hate my decision to cut them off. And by cutting them off, I mean not talking to them or seeing them ever again in my adult life, to me, they don't even exist - and I've made my peace with that. But they keep pushing me, and it's a constant argument with them; I just don't understand how I could make them see that what they are saying hurts me. I am an adult now and live on my own, provide my own income and sustain my lifestyle far away from my grandparents, so seeing them isn't a worry, only when we go on vacation. What im trying to get at here is, how do I tell my parents that I don't want to see my grandparents ever again? Without insulting their family or creating more arguments. I've probably left out some details, so feel free to ask in the comments, but im truly at an impasse here and feel lost like never before.
Please, anything will help, Lord, help me.
