Dear Blue12~
The following are just my views based on my experiences, which may not be identical to yours. I'm not suggesting any course of action, merely recounting my own efforts.
Sometimes there are rifts between parents and an offspring's partner. This can leave the partner feeling isolated and not the person who is first in the relationship.
My own history was that way, my mother behaved in a most unacceptable manner to my intended bride, and unfortunately my father felt this was quite appropriate. It ended up with a permanent separation between myself and my parents. Not altogether a bad thing as it turned out. Apart from anything else my wife came to understand clearly my affections were not divided.
It did mean I took direct and blunt words to my parents, and sadly the rift followed. I have no regrets although at the time it took some fortitude to speak plainly.
I'm not sure that your wife's speaking harshly to your mother is enough. Right or wrong I felt it my duty to tell my parents (quite emphatically) that were in error. Even an apology from your mother (if that was possible), may not heal things.
May I ask if your father is involved? Perhaps if not there may be a way your kids can see at least one grandparent.
Who knows, over time that may soften everyone's stance.
Croix
