What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[ecomama]

Hi rx

Crikeys the more I think about while reading your posts, the more concerned I'm getting lol!

It'll be okay. I HOPE!

Oh BF can party big time! We went out on a night club crawl in Switzerland with 5 ppl we just met and stayed out till 5am on our first night! It was just one of those magical nights.

BFs hours are ALL over the place big time. I've watched what he prefers to do... stay up till 3am or later and sleep till noon. He needs LOTS of sleep, I don't.

He's Mr Metropolitan living in "our" apartment in Seattle and I'm Ms Ecomama always lots of nature around, pets, kids and more kids etc.

He grew up in an ultra rich family in San Diego and we grew up dirt poor and I mean dirt poor.
They owned a helicopter and had movie stars as neighbours! Trips to Europe etc.
Our car had no floor and was house painted, when we had a car and when we didn't, we had to row the boat to get anywhere.
We had a can toilet, fished for our dinner and had one tap from a water tank we had to turn on with a spanner!

Two completely different worlds colliding in wonder.

Even with ALL those immense differences, we have the same core values;
Fidelity, commitment, love and family.

I'd take odd hours to be with a man like that ANY DAY of the week! lol

EMxxxx

[Guest_1584]

Hey em and thanks for talking about that but don't you dare worry about thread topic stuff , l don't believe in that rubbish a threads a conversation hopefully and they can go anywhere right, things lead to things so you just go for your life , and same goes for anyone else.

But alas , yeppa, l feel like it'd be a numb , but l also know it could be tears, or anything else. We had just insane synchronicities too l've told a few things somewhere else and kept it tame because l knew with even those the reaction , and they were just non believing , just a total blank, no surprise. So l don't say much if things ever come up these days, l always realized just how off the charts it all was, it even shocked us many many times. But just on little one , l drew a roman soldier one evening, l've never drawn one before , she was over in San Francisco that wk opposite side of the planet. Next day she says l had a dream last night l was a roman soldier l said l thought so l think l drew you. We had crazy crazy stuff happen , impossible things. That window and street probably would've happened something like that with us too it wouldn't surprise. But time apart things, we kinda had a different life than gf and me now. She worked in the airlines and was away a lot and she was also a loner so time alone didn't bother her in the slightest, so it's sort of hard to relate the two.

But at the same time that was a sadly incredible thing wasn't it l know it won't leave you. Em , was he the abusive one l'm wondering . He hadn't given up on you , even if you weren't together. l know she will probably stay single for us , she has 6yrs now , and God knows how , but if she felt or knew l married, l think she would give up too.

Your thing with bf , yeah , we get it too and she's fantastic about everything and she was very patient with me in finding my way in this . She has a past too of course but like you guys we're open and accepting as l was saying you too actually in lauzs thread , l believe you can kind of have a place for both and the new may well even over take one day.

Big hug. rx

[ecomama]

Dear rx

Firstly, the "dream man" was absolutely not the abusive one, no no no.
He was a dream lol.

If not for BB threads, I seldom think of him any more.
But for many many years I did. It was really beautiful to daydream when things were tough.
It was an escape for me.

I don't dwell on thoughts of him at all now except when memories are triggered by posts here.

My fondest, most favourite, most romantic (omg SO romantic) & precious memories are with my current bf. We're engaged now - between us. I'll ask him if he's going to tell anyone over there about our engagement, I will if it comes up here.

It's bound to come up because we've chosen my ring today.... funny thing about dreams which could be a lead into your dreams if you'd like to share?
About 3y ago I had a dream about BF chasing me all up & down a squeezy tight ocean liner trying to give me THE most gaudy, chunky ring with PINK diamonds. I DIDN'T want to wear it! (His daughter has pink diamonds & that would be too awkward, copy cat like)...
I wanted HIM but not those rings lol.

Then this year when he asked me to look for an engagement ring for myself that I liked, I did.
He did too.
Without saying to you "You won't believe it but...." any more lol... because you will & I will believe your dreams too.... NO MATTER how wild lol.
He emailed EXACTLY the ring I wanted but it had a PINK diamond!
I was so shocked but then it became even more eerie.... when I said I chose EXACTLY that same ring but please not a pink diamond! I would prefer a blue stone - like both our eye colours.
He said he HAD emailed me a ring with a blue sapphire in it!

Somehow during transmission the pink was chosen as a default or something.
So out of literally thousands of rings we chose exactly the same one. And without discussing any particulars at all.

And my dream about it... lol... funny that.

Rx I've had so many prophetic dreams. Some made my world shudder.
And those all came to pass. (I don't believe I have prophetic powers or anything like that, just dream some times).

My daughters & I've had the "same" dream on the same night but we all see the dream from our perspective, because we are ALL in the same dream. It's only happened about 5 x but when it does, we go WOAH... what the...

I've dreamt about 2 BB members and both happened. One sad for me but one amazingly awesome.

I can do what you do when having a nightmare.

Love your Roman soldier dream!

Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Hiya em.

Nah the roman soldier wasn't my dream , l just drew a roman soldier that night , l draw. But meanwhile here she was on the other side of the world that same night too and she had the dream.The soldier l drew either came from her dream , or her dream came from the my drawing, we couldn't work out which.

But no l don't dream predictions or anything special at all myself , thank god. l can make myself dream whatever l want though if l choose, l don't much anymore though l'd rather a good nights sleep.

That's incredible with the ring but l'd believe it, we had many many things even weirder. And was he here when that happened or still in the US ?

rx

[ecomama]

Hi rx

My fiancee was in the US when that ring thing happened.

He's still in the US and is a US citizen, born and bred.
Currently, (sighhhh) he's working as an Engineer repairing Covid testing instruments.

His name was top of the list the Federal Govt wrote of the few ppl who could fly anywhere they needed to fly to during any and all lock downs and border closures.
At times he was the only passenger on huge jets.
I was terrified for his safety and my anxiety skyrocketed hence I joined BB then.
The PTSD was activated big time also so I got Psych help for that.

Tbh I try not to think about it now.

I hope you get a good night's sleep!

EM

[Guest_1584]

Hey em.

l reckon that makes the odds of the ring thing happening about 10million to 1 .

Weird , my ex worked in the airlines and was us based too. this is one of the biggies in why there was some self sabotaging goin on because there were two countries and jobs and costs involved, whole thing was pretty overwhelming for us both . l kinda wished it all just gone a few times myself too subconsciously , too hard basket .

ps , haaa thanks , you too . oddly l slept like a log last night.

[ecomama]

Awesome, I'm glad to hear you slept like a log lol!

I did too and ACTUALLY slept in... now that's a 10 million to 1 chance of happening lol.

I know, weird about the ring thing. My BF thinks there must have been a "default" ring chosen for sharing the link etc and he really feels he must explain everything scientifically lol!

Some things one can't explain that way...

He intends to move here later on.... there's SUCH a legal wrangle in him being able to move here, it's a veritable nightmare. Plus he needs SO MUCH money to retire here... it's like only millionaires can but it is what it is.

If he can't then we have spot options lol. Maybe living in Hawaii but I don't want to leave my kids at any age, so anything like that will be part time for me. The family have a home in Trust in San Diego so that's more likely.

Anyway hmmm things WERE far harder before internet etc and by golly a LONG LONG distance LDR is a doozy now.

How are things with current GF going for you?
Is she becoming more acclimatised (lol) to your need for space?

And / or are you managing better with it all?

Love EM

[Guest_1584]

Haaa.yeah thought of that but nah , it's still a very very very long shot and there's a lot more happening than just search engines, but without saying too much because l'd get the boot , the explanation thing is so American.

Ha , tell me about it , the moving alone was huge and it was on her bc l can't leave either, but l also wouldn't live in the US . We thought about NZ , 10 times easier than Aus but l dunno, l'd feel kinda claustrophobic stuck out there , Aus is lsland enough for me. Then we thought about ltaly, also 100x easier than Aus , but she didn't really wanna go back and l had reservations too. And on and on it went. Not to discourage you guys because tbh l still wonder. Anyway , nother story and thx for changin the subject before l end up bs'g on about the wrong person.

But yep , we're much much better , pretty well found our rhythm and wouldn't you know, now she has to fly back home next wk. Of course !!!! , arrrrrr. l'm still the same always will be but providing the other one can settle down and not be too needy you can find a balance , some compromise and from there hopefully some mutual contentment . like most times if only we could have just a few wks more l think by then we'd have our thing all panned out nicely haha, damn it. Been one of the biggies right through l've hoped stays have just been a bit too short to find it but this one was a bit longer and the extra's made a huge difference. She's been coming up and back 2yrs you see could be a few wks or mths depends . She could've moved down 12mths ago but l wasn't quite ready but so that meant she then had to lock in some things up home again for at least another 12 -18mths and so we're still on that now. This trip back home could well be the last one needed though this time if rx decides he's ready this time , if he's not she'll probably tell him to take a hike ahhhhh, to put it politely.

rx

[ecomama]

Pretty big decisions for you and with it all comes responsibility too I think?

I guess in mine and fiancee's situation we are forced to marry if either one of us wants to live in the other's country.
Our ages dictate far less Visa options.

Yes he's most certainly "American" through and through and through! lol.

Tbh he is SUCH a refreshing change. Strong character traits and Values being the hugest difference I've found. Ofcourse I don't know ALL Australian males lol... and I've strived to drive "good character" into all my children from a young age, but I had to do all the research myself as it wasn't taught at all.

"Tell the truth" was about as far as it got here for me.

But "character" is just not part of our every day discourse here as it most certainly IS in America I've found. It would be up to each person to heed such strong messages ofcourse, but at least the message is out there, there.

Not here.

How do you feel about making a firmer commitment to gf?

It's great you two got the rhythm happening. If you got it together once, you can do it again!

If BF lived around the corner, I would be happy to stay bf / gf, keep the 2 houses thing going and keep financial things legally separated as far as possible. Here an 18 month relationship or even less than a year in some cases has been declared "defacto" even without living together.
I prefer the American "common law marriage" of 7y living together.
Makes more sense to me.

EMxxxx

It is what it is in each country lol good, bad or ugly!

[Guest_1584]

haaa that's funny and it right there you see bc just about everything on the net is ahh, and they need everything explained and all nicely pigeon holed you see. But eh , my ex said many do have a good heart , no doubt there are some very nice people too as with any.

but anyway yeah it'd mean her moving down so as ya know that's not like just driving back and forth from houses , hers is a long day and flight away so it's a much bigger thing for both in that way isn't it after divorces and life at this stage. Funny , we met right here in Vic and l thought thk God, same country even state , ummm, she was only visiting . But eh she's a lot closer that ltaly and the US haha.

l have to come back , l'm being called haha. rx