What does this mean , wth is wrong with me, is anyone else like this ? l need so much space.

[Guest_1584]

Hi bb .

Really hoping for some insight and feedback here because l can't afford to see someone.

My partner is down again from her city , been down a few wks now and can stay indefinitely right now as she's had legal business up home but it looks like that could be done for at least this yr now.

We've always lived really well together she's easy to be around , does nothing to make me the way l am no one ever has really although my ex w def' use to get a bit much which also made me head for solitude but at least there was a reason . Thing is , with my partner bow , friends or people around , even my daughter , l just become in desperate need alone time after awhile. lt doresn't matter who it is or how much l enjoy them around , l can only take so much of it but then l just have to get away for some time to myself.

My partner doesn't understand how l'm like this or why and she does nothing to bring it on , being around anyone after a certain amount of time just does and if l don go off and hide out alone for awhile l just gt exhausted and in filthy moods.. l'm talking daily. Even her or say my daughter who is the easiest person you'd get to be around , and she likes her space too , yet even with her.

l mean l'm a fun person and do love some fun and social time , but then ok , l've had enough now l have to go. With my partner if we're both around all day night which l work at home and she only works pt so that's quite often. l'll need a few hours to myself before she gets up , then a few more later in the afternoon and even after that l like if l can get it an hour or so before l go to bed , just alone time. Because although we do sleep beautifully together , l just don't feel like being ion bed bside someone all night without another bit of a break first.

l'm bloody weird , l've always been like this but it is a bit worse now as l'm older and since divorce l've either lived alone or spent a lot of time alone, Wth can't l cope and just enjoy relationships and being with special people like everyone else. My gf can be around me 24 7 , so could my ex w , so can my daughter , wth is wrong with me,

Any feed back appreciated . rx

[Guest_1584]

And you would find the same trying to research Australian women, there's nothing .Not that l need to but tis what it tis. l couldn't even answer what our national dish was once bc as far as l know we don't even have one. Now not to turn you off your man because as my ex said there are some really nice people over there with good hearts , as there are anywhere . But knowing many l would interpret strong character as me me me and entitlement hence their Covid record and many other things, bc that's been my experience but like l said not all as with anywhere else. And there are also some incredible Aussies too but you know in matters of the heart selectiveness is the crucial being.We can all choose wrong and misjudge and it's equally as crucial in choosing of a woman no matter the race.

My gf in Portuguese and she is a truly beautiful and special soul , but l could say similar of my ex w too an Australian , but because of who she was , even if we didn't work out. But l wouldn't be saying that about many not even my 6 sisters , but l wouldn't be saying that about anyone no matter from where in this throw away world of nowa days, only of the individual .Behind the curtain has sadly too often been a disappointment to me no matter what the front, seems you've gotta dig real deep these days. God that sounds depressing

rx

[Guest_1584]

ps , and so admittedly l do have trust issues because l expect far mar than most have, seen too much.

[ecomama]

😮 did you say SIX sisters?

LOLOLOL... omg that's alot!

Look, I love women to bits. I come from a family of Amazon Women (we call ourselves lol)
They're some of my bestest friends on earth too but I am SO glad I didn't have sisters lol... THANK YOU GOD. Yah I know I'M a sister but hey, I'm pretty awesome LOL... my brother thinks I'm cool and he loves me, so that's ALL I need or could ever want.

A GOOD relationship.

Because I think at the basis of all this we're talking about is finding GOOD people to have GOOD relationships with.
We can't choose our family.

Oh rx I COMPLETELY AGREE with everything you say about Americans and would probably agree with everything you HAVEN'T said! 😂🤣 there is a LOT I'm not saying.

I never wanted to visit America and would NEVER have dreamed of being with an American man, esp one who still LIVES there lol. (You can IMAGINE my friend's reactions and my family were like WHAT THE? I didn't even let the kids watch The Simpsons when they were younger lol!).

But happenchance happened and it's been the most fortuitous relationship I've had so far - only counting intimate ones there.

No by character I meant:
- fidelity
- loyalty
- commitment
- steadfastness
- LOVE
- caring
- reliability
- generosity
- honesty
- trust
and MORE...
I could go on and on about fiancee's character traits that I find INCREDIBLE, just mind-blowingly AMAZING. (See Stephen Covey's stuff online about "character vs personality" - it's AWESOME).

Add to that he can pick me up and throw me over his shoulder to carry me over a snow berm!
And DOES lol. He calls me "petite" which NO Australian has ever said.
He's such a GENTLEMAN lol.

When I went to "our" apartment in Seattle for the first time, he carried me over the door stop lol... just like an old fashioned married couple are supposed to do after they get married.

He's hopelessly romantic too. omg... can't say things here... he's crazy romantic. And he has a voice smooth like caramel, he likes mine too and we call speaking to each other "an emotional massage" lol.

My kids stopped worrying altogether when they saw how he treated me when he came. They said they could see how much he loved and adored me.

Plus he installed pretty cool light fixtures! LOL. So he won the kids over lol.

I have to stop rambling... I'm still very much in love with him after 5y and that's something lol.

Love EM
PS: I find all men are "me me me" lol!!! That's okay, we love you. 😂🤣🤣😂

[Guest_1584]

Yep , 6. Youch.l know it's just not a nice thing but l often wish it was just the brothers, all the crap in our family come from the sisters sorry but that's just how it is.Admittedly non of them are my type of women l get along with women really well and get along with some of the sisters really well but l could still takem or leavem, or just leavem. The brothers we're all just so hassle free and have just developed into very cool caring genuine mates over the yrs whether it's been 5yrs since we'd seen each other or a few wks. There's never any bs, it's always just an absolute pleasure to catch up or talk.

Anyway , back to the issue at hand.

l really just don't understand my mix, it's just effg crazy. My gf had to leave this morning for Sydney and hr legal matters again but l really just do not understand myself on this , yet l understand myself far more than most and in very intricate in depth ways but on this , l just don't get wth is going on with me. l'm soooooo glad to have my bed back tonight , sooooo glad to have a free house again, to watch what l want loud as l want eat when l want do what l want. But wth. There were lots of tears this morng and last night but now l'm just that damn relieved to be not answering to anyone again.

She's a gorgeous girl , beautiful looking and a deep deep beautiful soul . She's got a heart of absolute gold , we get along mostly just really easily and naturally and mostly just get each other. She's funny , very caring and she fits into my lifestyle which is a feat all it's own, like a glove. Even settles into my alone time need quite happily after a mth or two.l mean l'm a fussy guy with women the sort of woman l like is a one in millions so although there's only been the two since my divorce 10ish yrs ago, there was plenty of opportunity if l wanted it even a couple of richies and yet l've found someone like this that fills more boxes than even l could hope for , but yet, l'm glad to have my bed and house back.

wth is wrong with me , what do l wanna grow old alone. Single mates have said wtf , you've found woman like her that loves you to but vut your carrying on like this , you need your bloody head read and your gonna lose her if your not bloody careful , and they're right too.

rx

[Guest_1584]

Even my daughter loves her , l mean she's an absolute classic spirit and character def no plain Jane and d just digs the hell out of that . My d is really going through some heavy stuff right now and so l didn't want to stress her out right now butttt, she wanted to so. They sat in the kitchen and talked for hours and my gf was just so caring , really looked after her.

l really couldn't ask for more , but yet l'm glad to have the bed and house to myself again. l rest my case l obviously need my head read. rx

[Guest_1643]

hi rx

i wander if i'm a bit like that as well - i've always since i was small felt the need to have time alone

it always terrified me to be in a position where i couldn't have that. i was scared i simply wouldn't cope...so i can relate in a way - especially to the kind of relief to have space to yourself.
It doesn't mean she isn't awesome and amazing and a great partner - i think it's just some people like space
does she also like her space or talk about wanting to be around more? in todays day and age its so interesting you can have relatioonships that exist in text and accross countries... and it works

I can't believe you have 6 sisters.... that would definitely be a noisy household! fun/catty/interesting and never dull for sure.

[Guest_1584]

Hiya sleepy and thx for that. And now that l've got the bed to myself l dunno whether to sleep or stay up all night on the pc in bed or wth. So for now l'm back haha,

Have ya , yeah right. Then at the same time yeah you must worry that it could mean you end up alone as l do. And what's so great about being alone l ask myself , it's boring really l mean it must be we've got no one to talk to and share life with right , so it's ridiculous. l don't even get why l would choose it , you must just scratch your head too.

She is actually yeah , really is a very very special partner and really nah she doesn't mind a bit of space actually either and seems to settle in to my ways pretty good really, eventually . But yeah it is weird all this part time thing with only messages and calls when your not together but you can still be just about together in a sense with support and 24 7 chit chat it's almost the same sometimes . not physically of course but the rest is such a big part of a relationship and you can still actually fill that part surprisingly well.

[Guest_1643]

hey rx - did you end up getting some sleep?

i've past a fair few all nighters this year for sure....netflix has been a savior 🙂

being alone you're right is not so special - it's kind of like we crave company at times but then similarly crave that alone time....it's like how much alone time could make one feel fulfilled? i wander if lots of people feel like this... conflicted...

oh yeah totally and every way made me worry about not being able to live a normal partnered up life. I seemed to cope best when i was around people i wasn't even close to - housemates etc - they weren't besties but we sort of coexisted like friendly strangers - that was always easy for me. Harder for me to be emeshed. But then isn't being emeshed the ultimate??

Sounds like living with her has a nice, pleasant feeling though, which is sweet.
This has made me think so much about shared living - what I like about it and what i don't

despite having a billion million fears about not being able to live easily with someone because i love my space

i've lived for 2 years in an emormous share house with loads of people and barely had a problem with any of them. was happy and harmonious

and then i've had two hospital stays this year (4 weeks each) - also - super chill and easily bonded with everyone while having my space as well.

interesting! How is it having space in ur place now? the endless struggle for alone time vs socialising - never resolved lol

[Guest_1584]

Hey sleepy , hope your traveling ok.

I've always been a night owl but to the extreme , all night every night for yrs , sun coming up stuff , catching a few hours sleep before work and that'd be it. Strangely l'd have so much energy on just a few hours sleep never been sure how that works but l did meet another guy once was much the same and only got 2 or 3 hrs a night but yet full of beans. l've read up and worried to about how bad no sleep is for us though especially for yrs on end and so just this last 12mths or so l'm trying to train myself into more normal hours but 12ish is still a very early night and l probably won't sleep which also makes things weird with a partner. l still hate missing any night but l'm onto 1 or 2ish and 6 or 7 hrs a night now this last 6mths so it's a huge improvement .

l have worried too about maybe just not even being capable of partnering up these days and thought much about the pros and cons. l must admit just tonight though l've actually missed gf a lot this time now, it's taken me 2yrs but it is creeping in l realize, so that's something, might be hope for me yet. but l'm still adoring the space.lt's very weird , l've watched married men a wondered my whole life how most are so entwined into 2 rather than one and how they cope , but then most are pretty normal and that life is pretty normal so it's not much help. Me on the other hand , mr weirdo .

l do get the house sharing thing there's something nicely non committal, non needy and uncomplicated, about just knowing people as apposed to things being more than that.

[Guest_1584]

l have been worrying though and thought a lot about how l might be these days with someone else, would l still be the same , maybe there's a problem? but l can't know l was having a lot of troubles being married though and l've spent a lot of time on my own since so that's the thing , nothing to compare it too.