What do I do?

[Nathan_K]

My mother (40) has been sick with cancer for a long time, but within months she's gone from happy and active, to bedridden, extremely skinny and constantly throwing up. I don't know what to do to cope, doctors estimated a few months left. I wish I could just have my mother back. Every waking moment I think about it, the fact I'm going to lose my mother. I haven't told my friends because I'm the person they rely on for laughs and support, and I don't want to lose that. I just don't know what to do.   

[Sophie_M]

Dear Nathan_K,


  Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. This is a safe space to share and express your own feelings, struggles and experiences without judgement.

Please remember if you need more immediate contact or are ready to have a chat, you can use our Beyo...http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

Regards

Sophie M

[Juliet_84]

Oh Nathan, I’m so sorry. I came close to losing my father about 5 years ago and I remember repeating over and over that “I wasn’t ready”. I said this to a friend who had lost his parents and he told me that you’re never ready, which really hit home. You will never have enough time with the people who are your foundation for which your life is built upon. My only advice to you is, tell your friends…you give them love and support and you can go back to doing that in time, but now you need love and support and that is ok. Let them be there for you. 

[geoff]

Hello Nathan, I am so terribly sorry to hear about your dear mum, this is something a long time ago we would have never imagined would happen and it's such a shock when it actually does because it changes the whole complexity of your situation.

Friends are for having a laugh but they should also be there for you in times of sadness, it goes both ways, not only for you but also with them.

The jokes they rely on won't happen, so now is the time to seek comfort from them, they are there to help you, and when the time does come, they will be upset with you for not telling them about your dear mum.

Many people don't have friends because they have left, so when you do have them, they are there to support you.

Geoff.

Life Member.