Unhappy marriage and feel stuck ! :(

[jlp11]

Hi I would like some advice from others I don’t have many people I can talk to but the stress and unhappiness , loneliness is eating me away 😞 

I’m a married woman been married for 10 years I’m 36 his 60 we have 2 kids together  he works 7 days a week I look after the kids full time I also work from home doing dog grooming , do the housework, cut the lawn gardening 10000sqm block , everything as I would do single I can’t ask for help if I’m sick or even when was in hospital he couldn’t get the kids from school I had to leave , he has never helped me or been there for me  at the start he was , his so tired after work he comes back has a beer watch tv doesn’t talk to me or the kids doesn’t want to know about the bills finances or anything to tired I have to make sure all is paid on Time , but the problem that’s stressing me out is he went bankrupt awhile ago due to his business issues and he opened a other one put me as the owner of the company yes it goes to my company his work money to pay bills that I feel stuck with it , all he says he pays to provide but won’t help when tax time or even want to know about the company or anything that’s due left it all on me , if he leaves tomorrow I’m screwed 😞 I also have a other son older from previous partner that I’m stuck paying child support for as his income has made my income higher , on top of this he puts me down constantly calls me a bad mum your a slut you rubbish your worth nothing that I mainly spend my evenings locked in my room to get away from him , he can’t talk communicate over talks me constantly we don’t get along but we are currently in a rental and I can’t afford to support my kids on my own with the prices of rental at this stage and don’t want to take them on the streets so I stay and the company I will have to sort out all the debts of tax without his money to help anymore, I also pay bills with my income and any extras I use my own . It’s such a lonely life and nothing but arguments every evening his home it’s not good for the kids but i feel stuck and have no where to go Also have few dogs can’t take I don’t no what to do feel neglected unloved if tell him how I feel he sends a laughter emoji or whatever 😞 

[Sophie_M]

Hello jlp11
 
Thank you so very much for joining us here in the forum community – and we are so proud of your courage in being able to discuss this with us.
 
It can feel really fraught to start facing into the impacts and consequences of Domestic Violence or neglect, especially if you are feeling financial pressure from outside the relationship as well – we want to check in and see if you have any supports at all?  Conversations with other family? Any friends that are aware or concerned?
 
Please also consider accessing other services as well; our friends at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) would be absolutely happy to help.  They can access some remarkable resources as well. Please also consider a chat with your GP as well, as they can be very useful.
 
But please stay in touch with us here too, we and your peers will want to do all we can – and you can reach out to us directly as well! Please consider calling on 1300 22 4636, or if you are worried about a conversation being heard, please use the webchat service! https://www.beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat
 
 
Stay safe, jlp11
 
Regards,
 

Sophie M.
 

[geoff]

Hello jlp11, can I join Sophie in welcoming you to the forums.

What worries me, as I've seen this before, is that he has gone bankrupted and therefore knows the system and how to use it to his ability that best suits him.

Being married at 26 to a 56 year old is much better than as time progresses, and not only do you work for yourself you also do all the hard work of being in a marriage, without any support, and that's a concern.

I am concerned for your future, as now you aren't happy and feel caught up in a position you don't necessarily want.

Can I ask if this son is old enough to leave and move out, and secondly as you do dog grooming there might be a vet centre looking for someone to do this at their clinic and in saying this Anglicare offer places for people to stay that are furnished and could be where you could start, but please get back to us.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[jlp11]

Thankyou for your reply 💜 my kids are 9 and 10 I’m trying so hard to plan to save money put aside so I can leave but just don’t know what the future will hold for the company issues and if this will make me go down in the end 😞 but definitely can’t stay and live like this much longer

[jlp11]

Thankyou