Understanding vulnerability and developing relationships.

[Daniel123]

Hi everyone, im new here, im currently seeing a counsellor for my anxiety. As a part of this, ive examined my relationships with other people, and i feel like ive never been very close, and that theres a lot more possible that i dont understand. I always felt different in primary school but entering high school really made me put on a persona, to others and myself, that caused me to express myself honestly as little as possible. This hung around and got worse after finishing school and not really doing anything with myself. Ive more truely recognised the extent of this recently, and im now trying to practice being vulnerable. Im hopeful that it will put me on the path to connecting better eventually. Id love to hear if anyone else has gotten through a similar path themselves, where they couldnt envision honest relationships and connections to other people, but have been open and are fulfilled now?

[Betternow]

Good morning Daniel and welcome to the forum.

I have suffered from anxiety but I’m problems started late in life and to that extent my case is different from you. To some extent most people find navigating relationships with people tricky. It sounds like you have discovered this and developed an unhealthy tactic for dealing with it. I can understand why your therapist has brought up the vulnerability angle.

If you have been hurt, lack confidence or are distressed by anxiety it’s normal to be wary of people and making yourself vulnerable to disappointment and hostility.

You have to accept that we all live in a world that carries risk. I risk missing my bus if I sleep through the alarm. I risk being ridiculed if I get to close to the wrong type of person.

Experiencing and surviving the negative events helps us build skills that can make living a richer and more fulfilling experience. Avoiding risks is like avoiding living.

Accept that making yourself vulnerable will probably mean you will have your share of heartbreak but remember, this is what makes you human and makes you stronger over the course of your life.