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So angry

Community Member

I am so angry and confused.

A few hours ago my 22yr old daughter called be upset and confided that she has been having a sexual relationship with her therapist.

I told her that her therapist has betrayed her trust and that she needs to report him. She thinks she is in love with him.

I asked her to call beyond blue for and unbiased point of view. She just finished telling me that the beyond blue person she spoke to said that this was ok as it is mutual.

Seriously is this true?

I am furious, angry, sad, hell I feel so helpless right now

69 Replies 69

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Purple4

I am so sorry that you have this huge worry and this horrendous display of mistrust that a person of authority or care can manipulate and abuse a person who is vulnerable. Whilst I am a community champion I am in no way here to speak on behalf of Beyond Blue, however I would be very surprised that anyone would see this relationship as "OK as it is mutual". She is a client, he is a person who is responsible for her care and is treating her wellbeing, what he has done in my opinion is breech the doctor/patient code.

The fact she is calling you so very upset sets bells ringing for me in that she too knows that this is not right and she is reaching out for support, at the same time she may have feelings for this person but is fighting with feelings V's knowing what the right thing to do is.

I am so sorry that your daughter has been subjected to this situation, and your family too.

I am sure others will share their thoughts and opinions on this too Purple4.

Can I ask if you are sure she actually did call Beyond Blue?

Here to chat and to support you Purple4


Community Member

Thankyou for your reply.

I told my daughter I posted here and she is angry with me. She wants to protect him and I want to protect her.

Just losing my mind. She told me she did call so I have to take her word on that. I did tell her that i find it very hard to believe that she was told it was ok.

How dare a professional do this to a paitent. How dare they

He's taken advantage of a vulnerable young woman under his care, it is by know means ethically or morally acceptable.

Community Member

I just don't know what to do. I thought by asking my daughter to call a help line for advice would help. I honestly don't know if she did speak with an online counselor from here or what info she shared. I just find it so hard to believe that if she did disclose the truth about her relationship with her therapist that anyone would say it wasn't illegal if consensual.

Now she is angry with me and says that she wishes she didn't tell me because I have over reacted and gone psycho. I can't discuss this with anyone as I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone.

I am divorced from her father and she told me that he is aware of this situation with her therapist. I feel that I am losing my mind. Why am I the only one who sees how wrong this is.

My daughter says she will protect her therapist and that he makes her happy. My daughter very recently broke up from a long term relationship and is so very vulnerable. I understand her need to feel loved and desired and I believe her therapist has taken advantage of her.

God knows how many other clients / patients he has done this with.

I did tell her that I was posting in this forum as I needed to have peace of mind and I just dont know what else to do.

I feel like I need to save her from herself as she is looking for love in the wrong place.

I really just wanted her to talk to a trusted professional about her rights and give her unbiased information about her situation.

She says she did that and was told it was ok.

What am I supposed to do now?

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Purple4, thanks for posting your comment and I'm sure it must have been difficult to do so, but as the others have said, ethically it should not have happened, simply because he could lose his licence.

What could have happened is that she and the therapist might have able to form a connection where she was able to tell him what no one else had known or not been told, and I know when this does occur, as it did with me, is that a relationship feels as though it's been developed between the two of them.

Beyond Blue might have meant that a close bond between the therapist and the patient is essential so that the two of them could talk openly, just saying.

Best wishes.


Community Member

Hi Purple4

This post raises a few obvious questions:

  • Is your daughter having a relationship with her therapist?
  • Is your daughter infatuated with her therapist?
  • Did your daughter call BB
  • Did the BB person tell your daughter that the relationship was OK?

Without any form of independent corroboration, no one will never know the answers to these questions. I'm not saying it didn't happen; but negative accusations against two professionals (BB and the therapist) seems unlikely.

At this point you only know what your daughter has told you; which may, or may not be the full truth.

If you want to help your daughter then calmer minds will be required.

Mr Paul has almost word for word echoed my immediate reaction Purple.

In matters of mental health, emotions can gallop ahead of reality and I believe only until the facts as revealed by your daughter can be confirmed should anyone take action.

For what it’s worth, every interaction I have experienced with BB has met the highest quality of ethical standards you could hope to find.

In my experience it only takes a small exaggeration or a misplaced phrase or misconstrued meaning to completely alter a story.

I’m not suggesting your daughter is deliberately lying but only a calm and thorough investigation of her claims will provide the evidence that something is wrong or otherwise.

Community Member
Please dont take my post as an attack on BB. I have simply posted for advice as I have no one to talk to. This is really upsetting

Hi Purple4,

Your post gave me chills to read. This is not remotely ok.

I would think ethically if a therapist wanted a relationship with a patient outside of work they would be obliged to stop seeing the person professionally and refer them to someone else to treat.

Is your daughter still receiving therapy from this person? It may be worth asking her whether he has referred her elsewhere.

In your shoes if I discovered a therapist was pursuing a relationship at the same time as treatment I would make an appointment with my GP to find out what the rules are and what you can do to make a formal complaint.

I mention the GP rather than a lawyer because of my own experiences. When I started therapy and confided abuse to my psychiatrist he was concerned because the person had been studying psychology at the time. He was concerned enough to tell me he was going to check the registry to see if this person was a practicing psychologist (thank goodness he was not) and if so he would be obligated to report them.

Feel free to show your daughter my post by the way. If this man cares for her he should have already have referred her to another. If he hasn't please be cautious.