So angry

[Purple4]

I am so angry and confused.

A few hours ago my 22yr old daughter called be upset and confided that she has been having a sexual relationship with her therapist.

I told her that her therapist has betrayed her trust and that she needs to report him. She thinks she is in love with him.

I asked her to call beyond blue for and unbiased point of view. She just finished telling me that the beyond blue person she spoke to said that this was ok as it is mutual.

Seriously is this true?

I am furious, angry, sad, hell I feel so helpless right now

[Aaronsis]

Hi Purple4

I have just read Mary's reply to you and this sounds like great advice. I was originally coming from a place of support for you daughter but Mary has raised some very raw evidence here and the fact that she too has experienced this abuse alarms me.

I know you did mention in a previous post that you don't know who this therapist is, that is a bit of a large hurdle, do you think your ex husband might know this information?

I am know also starting to have questions like "what if your daughter is not the first person this has happened to ?"....he must not be allowed to behave like this....if he was adhering to his professional boundaries in the first place this situation would not have occurred...I think that I would like to revist my position on this and agree with Mary in that there is some intervention to be had here.

So sorry to confuse an already hard situation for you Purple4...this person must be made accountable.

Here for you.

Sarah

[Purple4]

Sarah right from the start I told my daughter that she wouldn't be the only one and this man needs to be reported. My daughter refuses to tell me who he is. My ex husband although doesn't like this situation has told me its none of my business.

This is where my anger compounds with guilt for not stepping in. I feel like I am letting my daughter down.

Just need to take a breath and get through today

[Quercus]

Hi Purple4,

Thank you for letting us all know how you're holding up. How are you feeling after having a little time to think about it all?

I think your response to the situation is very fair and shows your daughter love but also sets your boundaries.

I fully support the opinion that these forums are a safe place. I've written here for years now (for my own healing and to try give back) and in this time I've learnt how seriously BB takes privacy and safety. It might feel like an overreaction to your daughter but you needed support too.

I hope you're feeling even slightly less distressed today.

Nat

[Quercus]

Ah crap. Please forgive me I hadn't read the refreshed page. Should have been more careful.

I'm so glad to see Mary has written to you, she knows personally how dangerous people like this can be. Mary... I'm so bloody proud of you for writing so openly about something that causes you enormous hurt.

Even thinking of this man makes me very uncomfortable.

[Purple4]

Mary thankyou for the information provided. I am so sorry for what you went through.

My hands are tied as I don't know the name of this man. I have told my daughter that I want to report him even if it means she will hate me for it. Someone needs to stand up for what is right.

My head is in a mess. The only peace I get is the fact that I don't know this therapists name so I have no way of reporting him.

My daughter has asked me to delete this post aswell. I just hope she is reading all of these comments and finds the strength to report this man

[Purple4]

Thankyou so much for your reply.

I dont know wether I'm Arthur or Martha at the moment.

I sincerly appreciate your thoughts xx

[White_Rose]

Hello Purple4

Please excuse my somewhat hot reply. I meant everything I said but maybe should have cooled down a little first. I had no intention of distressing you and I hope you do not feel bad about my advice.

I think it may be fairly easy to find this man. Go to the AHPRA website and search for psychologists working near your daughter. There cannot be many of them.

If you feel you will lose the relationship with your daughter you must do what you think best. Is it more important to still be on good terms with your daughter than to stop this man? Not a decision I would like to make.

I am reminded of a quote that has long been a favourite of mine. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Edmund Burke 1729-1797.

Mary

[Purple4]

Hi Mary

My daughter lives in the City so it is a needle in a hay stack.

She has told me that if I report this man that she will cut me out of her life. Words no one wants to hear. I told her I would still go ahead and report if I had the facts. I would probably want to meet this man and get more info first.

I told my daughter that I never want to hear those words leave her lips again. I am her mother not her friend and it is my life long responsibility to protect her, even from herself.

This is why I am glad I dont know who he is.

My daughter has seen this thread and is very angry about it. I just told her that I need this support as I have no one to discuss this with.

I also hope that she has got some good info from reading some posts. All I wanted her to do was to reach out and get solid info about her situation to make an informed decision.

As it stands tonight I have told her I will not interfere since I dont know his name. I have reminded her that this situation is NOT her fault but from now she is responsible for the decisions she makes. She wants this man in her life regardless of the consequences which is breaking me.

I keep going back to the knowledge that I have told her everything I can. She knows exactly how I feel and she also knows that I will always be here for her regardless.

She got very angry with me on the phone tonight but she understands how I feel and the fact that I will report this man if I have the information.

I also reminded her that her decisions have consequences. People around her are hurting too.

I've asked, is this man worth this?

I keep going round in circles but I need to let her make her own choices. I will never turn my back on her.

It is a pain in my heart that gets worse daily

[Guest909]

G'day White Rose

Your quotation, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing", reminded me of an old idiom/proverb, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

My point being, there are two sides to a coin; something that is often overlooked.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience; it should not have happened.

[Purple4]

Paul I know you mean well but I am reading your comments as argumentative.

The fact is simple. My daughters therapist is having a sexual relationship with her. There is no grey area here. It doesn't matter what my previous relationships are or what problems you believe I have with my daughter.

I simply am breaking physically and emotionally with this situation. The damage this is doing to my daughter is unmeasurable.

There is nothing I can do now. Having you seemingly question this issue as real is very hurtful.

This is not here say. This is happening.