Hi guys!
As of late, I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago after 3 years. We had a toxic relationship and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried to give him another chance the other week but then all this anxiety came back all in one day and I ended up crying saying I couldn’t do it anymore. He never cheated but he would hide the truth and do things without thinking about my feelings. He has hurt me so much and now that I’ve broken up with him, I feel so down on the weekends that I just have no energy to do much. I’m not sure if it’s because I have been so emotionally and mentally drained of 3 years with him though.
I do well throughout the work week because I love my job and it gives me the motivation and happiness I want but when it comes to the weekend I feel alone. I don’t really want to go out drinking and partying because it’s not something that makes me feel better.
I love him so much still and all I think about is that he will meet another girl before I meet someone and he will be happier without me. It’s stupid but I can’t help but think that. I wasn’t enough to make him happy. So now I feel I have no confidence, I’m not interesting, I’m not pretty enough, I’m just me and nothing great. I feel because it was toxic that I sacrificed myself and now I don’t even know who I am, what I enjoy etc. where as he is able to go and spend time with his mates and be happy but I just don’t want to do that. I gave him everything of me and I feel so lost without him.
I guess I’m writing this to see if anyone else has experienced something similar and how they are coping today. This has been like no other relationship I ever had. I loved him more than I’ve loved anyone else. We have ended things on good terms which makes me happy but I just feel like I’m so boring and nothing good about me 😞
I hate weekends because I’m stuck with my thoughts and I constantly think he is out partying and meeting someone new. I feel a bit hopeless now.
