In this post I'd like to mention "the benefit of the doubt".
I've noticed more in the last 10 years or so that people often mention, in a group, their criticism of someone without know all of the possible scenarios of why that person does what they do.
For example: A common one is buying meals at a hotel. Waiting more than 30 minutes can start the complaints around a table. Some people have never worked in a hotel kitchen so have never faced the issues that happen there. If one person orders a well done steak and its preferable to have all meals arrive at the table at the same time then there will be a delay in meal delivery as the chef will be waiting for the steak to cook and that will take longer. Sometimes there is a "run on" for one menu order. That might result in a worker scooting off to the butchers. Patrons often dont realise there could be 2 or 3 other sections of the hotel that are also ordering meals....and so on. To reduce any chance of disharmony it is always best to either give the "benefit of the doubt" or make a direct enquiry.
A friend recently listed his house on the market for lets say $400,000. After two weeks even before the board was up at the front of the property, he asked me "do you think I should try another agent, he doesnt seem to be doing much". I suggested he ring the agent, he did, the agent told him that he had to take photographs, wait for them to be delvered to him to load on the internet and that he also had to wait for the section 32 that my friend hadnt chased up with his own solicitor. The sale of the house couldnt move forward without it.
These sort of instances has caused me to always question people directly with the "benefit of the doubt" before entering into any dispute or pressing on with any criticism.
I dont know about you but especially when younger I would dwell over issues rather than contact the other party direct. This was not healthy. I didnt have the communication style I have now as an older man, but my advice for those younger is to embrace the direct route to people you deal with.
Dwelling, complaining to others when you dont possess all the facts is not contributing to your wellness. You can also calm situations down with this direct action and in groups this will result in happier times. People you deal with directly will appreciate your effort and you'll make friends that way too.
TonyWK
