FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

The aftermath

KDAWGS
Community Member
My son who suffers from anxiety gave his grandmother a spray tonight. He said when did some very bad things. His sister doesn't get it nor will my mum. They're angry by the way he treats me when he has an "attack" but I focus on getting him thru it not what he says. He lost the plot cause he lost his wallet with savings for an up coming holiday & everything else... he also had his car written off in the hail storm on Thursday. How do I stop conflict whole my parents are here & keep my boy safe...
6 Replies 6

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello KDAWGS, thanks for posting your thread and you are able to talk your son through these difficult situations, however, from what you have told us it's not so easy to say how we can help you unless the doctor has been able to diagnose him.

I know that you say he has anxiety, but there are different forms of this illness.

I want to help but we aren't qualified to say what he maybe suffering from.

He needs to see a doctor and identify why he has these anger attacks because there is a particular reason why this happens.

Please get back to us.

Geoff.

KDAWGS
Community Member

Thanks Geoff for your words. My son is seeing a counsellor & diagnosed with anxiety. He mentioned stress causes my son's anger be it pressure from his girlfriend, stress over failing at something, friends not wanting him around, his father and I separating. He explained to us about the fight or flight and the build up of stress hormones that don't enable my son to think rationally and calmly. He is fine today and with his girlfriend. I think he has ignored his grandparents bit has talked to me, his dad and his sister.

I feel that I made last night worse when I tried to stop him driving off at the height of his anger. I was scared he would hurt himself or someone else. He managed to take off in his sister's car but returned after 15 mins. Maybe I should just let him go next time.?????

Any suggestions in what I can do will be extremely helpful.

Xx

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi KDAWGS, thanks for getting back to me and sorry I'm a bit late.

If he is prone to anger, then stress will likely increase this, or if it's this pressure that causes him to be irritable and sometimes angry, there is some other feeling that is causing this, which you might not know of.

Somehow he's trying to tell you that a situation is upsetting, or not fare and by hiding it could be for several different reasons, such as depression, being embarrassed or a trauma that's happened and why he's covering up his stress, maybe you might have another idea of why.

I realise that he has lost his wallet and his car has been damaged by the hail, maybe that's enough excuse, I can't say, but has he lost much money in his wallet and is his car insured if it's a lot of money, and no, his car isn't insured then perhaps he has a reason, but it's how he does it that concerns you?

Please get back to me.

Geoff.

KDAWGS
Community Member

He lost $300, savings for his holidays & Xmas. We are hoping to get an appt with the go today as he is ready & wanting medication. He's been ok the past evening.

He's been like this for a very long time on & off. He left school during yr 11 & has been working.

There are underlying reasons for this depression, anxiety, etc but I honestly don't know what the trigger is.

He is a very caring, empathetic, gentle young man ordinarily. He just has reactions to things he can't control.

He wants to "get better" which is a great thing cause he needs to want to help himself to make everything he's doing work.

I appreciate your comments greatly.

No pressure to reply over the Xmas period as I am sure you have family to spend time with. Xx

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello KDAWGS, thanks so much.

I know for anybody to lose $300 is quite a bit of money, and I feel sorry for him.

You know what's he's like, caring and empathetic, that's because of you and what you've taught him, now he's growing up he will never lose that, now it's just to provide him with medication prescribed by his doctor that will fill some empty spot he has at the moment.

As we grow older our circumstances change and sometimes we grow faster than expected, I'm sure it happens to most of us, then we stop and let what we have left behind catch up with us, that's part of growing up.

It's terrific that he wants to get better because if he didn't then your job would be harder and with you and your help will only strengthen this, plus his girlfriend only wants to get back to how he was.

Just before I go I want to say that he knows what's happening and realises he needs help, but doesn't know how to do it, so I hope he can see a doctor soon, and please if you like tell him that I'm all behind him with you.

I'll be on deck over Xmas as my 2 little granddaughters I'll be seeing in a couple of weeks, so tomorrow it will be my son and I, where we will have a roast leg of lamb, so please be in touch over this period.

Take care.

Geoff.

KDAWGS
Community Member

I hope you had a happy Xmas day Geoff & enjoyed your roast lamb with your son.

My Xmas day was as bad as 3 yrs ago when my husband said he was leaving. This time it was my son who made me sad.

He didn't go to the Dr for medication and chose to spend Xmas day with his gf and her extended family. He called in to see my family for maybe an hour then left without saying goodbye to me atleast.

He then sent me txt messages telling me I had been rude to his girlfriend (which I wasn't & would not do).

I was very disappointed he chose to spend the day with her family but I didn't say this to him.. I told him I was happy for him to go -even though I wasn't- I also think gfs mum.should have told him to be with me.... anyway. I am on eggshells with him & don't say what I should cause I'm scared of the effect it will have on him.

My mum told my brother what he said the other night to her & he wants to talk to him. I think my son needs to apologise to my mum for what he said but I know he'll resist it.

My son had gone to see his dad for a couple of days and I'm waiting for a call or txt asking me for help which always happens...I don't want to be like this anymore..

I'm hoping the new year will be a start for him to get himself sorted out. He has an appt with the counsellor on Jan 15 so fingers xd..

Xx