SUPPORT FROM OTHERS AFFECTED BY LOVE+SEX ADDICTION

[WalkingWounded]

I’m writing this post in desperation, hoping it’s seen by the right person(s). I feel i would benefit from hearing how others have gotten through the toughest times of Sex+Love Addiction.

I will add that there are other complex factors that amplify my situation too, including complex mental health illness and drug dependency (both partners).

I am currently at a crossroads where I must stop using drugs and cut off the toxic relationships I have become dependent on.
I am about to enter a rehabilitation setting. This will be challenging but i know I can do it because my life is spiralling out of control. I see myself starting to entertain thoughts of suicide being acceptable, but this is not in alignment with my core beliefs.

I think i understand that what I am scared to face is GRIEF and loneliness, the process is agonisingly evident right now through my shaking body, broken heart and mind.

I must close the door (permanently) on the abusive, narcissistic lover who I allowed myself to become obsessed with. They treat me with disrespect and resentment yet I feel desperate to hold on and somehow win their approval and affection.

I know this delusional thinking is insanity because I have tried numerous times to create a positive outcome and ended up more damaged and devalued.

I wonder how I can become interested in myself, the way I am in others? So highly motivated and willing to give away all of me away yet avoidant of all my essential needs. It is an appalling and shameful disease.

Please share how you turned focus onto yourself. I very much appreciate comments from your own experiences and wisdom.🙏

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

There's truth in the saying "charity begins at home". Caring for yourself more than other people, on the basis of mental health.  Only then are you fit enough to spread yourself.

No matter how someone behaves that you find them toxic thats your judgement,  others opinions only matter if you've asked for it due to lack of confidence in such judgement.  The real issue mushrooms when you allow such people to remain in your life. Of course a complete severing is your decision, some people can gather with toxic member of family once a year at Xmas.

I dont quite follow some of your post, a bit left field from what Ive commonly replied to, yet just as important.  

But no matter your challenge to successfully get through life's challenges and arrive at a happy place, nothing beats a positive approach and that motivated place can be the best change in your life.

30 minutes can change your life - Beyond Blue Forums - 154525 https://share.google/ZzlqgdXiyL5OWman1

Seeking others approval is essentially devaluing you and reading into it more there could be some lack of inner peace and self confidence. In your childhood have you ever felt you weren't good enough? I did and we rely on lived experience here. 

Eg if youre confident you'll realise not only when people disrespect you but you'll know how to implement change, and as "charity begins at home " you'll take the appropriate steps, not let it slip by until the next time.

Inner peace, the glory of being YOU - Beyond Blue Forums - 190347 https://share.google/2peCcbNclRNrOgcVC

Only the strongest survive…make it YOU - Beyond Blue Forums - 180746 https://share.google/s9XwLIsoZk6wLcgxv

The best praise you'll ever get - Beyond Blue Forums - 134999 https://share.google/dxgjajj4mH0bbJd8z

These posts, you only need to read the first post of each and Im hoping they'll help. But if I'm missing the mark please let me know. Im here daily so I'd love to talk more.

TonyWK