Struggling

[missgolightly88]

Hi,

I am a single mum with 3 kids. 14,11 and 2. I am so worn out. I'm trying to find work, deal with my anxiety,ptsd and depression. I was in a dv relationship for over a decade. My 14 yr old has mental health issues, my 11 year old has behavioural issues and my 2 year old has global delay. I have an autoimmune disease called graves disease. This is all on top of me. Im anxious every single day. I continually perform checks on myself multiple times a day for illness as I dont feel safe within my body. And right now I'm fighting a cold. Self care is rare. Im under so much stress every day and im petrified. I try to maintain my control of everything in my environment especially a clean home. All the emotions in my body I can feel them and they manifest themselves physically. I take an antidepressant for the last couple of years. And prior to that a different antidepressant for 11 years. I dont cope with my own health and fear of illness. I dont have family except my sister. But she is busy alot. And due to the violence and mental health my older children's father isn't allowed In our lives. My youngest child's father left me when I was 24 weeks pregnant. I feel like I've lost control of everything. The stress will do damage I know. I dont remember the last time I had a libido. The last time I felt attractive. I just look in the mirror and see exhaustion and aging. Im 35 tomorrow. I cant stop looking for signs my body is turning against me trying to hurt me. I have problems with restricting what I eat. I mainly focus on just vege and meat every evening. Very bland foods the more stressed I am. I'm scared to enjoy myself, because bad feelings are around the corner. I end up analysing every sensation that my body feels and I notice everything. I feel so much pressure having 3 kids at me every day. And trying to get the older ones to help. That's a bit of my story.

[Sophie_M]

Hi missgolightly88,

Thank you for sharing this here. We hope you have found some comfort in the kindness and understanding of our lovely community members. We’re sure we’ll hear more from them.  

It sounds like you are an incredibly caring and supportive mum with so much on your plate. It is completely understandable to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and lacking in time for yourself. It is often the case that at the end of the day, after looking after everyone else - there does not seem to be any time left for self care. 

You deserve to feel supported right now. Is there someone in your life that you feel you can talk to?
Please know you can reach out any time you feel like a chat to the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach our counsellors via webchat, here.   Your GP can also be a good source of support, too, for information as well as referrals if you are interested.


Last but not least: We hope you can find a moment of peace for yourself in your birthday tomorrow ❤️

Please continue to share here, whenever you feel comfortable. This is a supportive and welcoming space and we are glad you have found us. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M