Sister keeps pushing me away and ignoring me

[Kiki45]

My sister and I use to be very close and I use to consider her as my best friend. We are close in age (I’m a year and a half older) which is why we were always really close. However in the last 3 months she would completely ignore me even when I greet her good morning or hello or when I ask her a question. An example is during the morning when I am making toast and ask if she wants any; she would just look up at me then go back on her phone and just ignore me. I’m not sure if I did anything wrong or if I had upset her without knowing so I asked her if I had upset her but again she would just look up at me then completely ignore me and go back on her phone. I started getting worried if something was wrong at school or if she was getting bullied etc. but when I asked her close friends they just looked at me weirdly asking why I would think something would be wrong. I’ve seen her when she is in front of her friends and she is like a completely different person, she is like the sister I use to have, happy and easygoing.

She never tells me things that are going on in her life unlike in the past where we would tell each other everything. I didn’t know she was going to a concert and wouldn’t be coming home after school so I ended up waiting at the train station for an hour because we always walked home from the train station together. After waiting for some time I finally called her which is when I realised she was going to a concert performed by a band I’ve never heard of and never knew she had an interest in. I was a little upset that she didn’t tell me and that was when I realised how far we had drifted.

Not only is she pushing me away, she is pushing my mum and dad away as well. She always stays in her room and never joins for family time even when we call her out to come and eat fruit with us and watch tv together. She does not speak with our parents unless she absolutely has to for example when she needs permission to go to a friends house or if she needs money to go out or buy food.

I am just really confused how we went from best friends to almost complete strangers. I feel as though I’m her roommate and not her sister. I’m quite upset as I feel like I have lost a part of me and I wish things were the way they use to be. I know this situation is normally the other way around where the older siblings ignores their younger siblings so I find this situation a little weird myself.

thanks 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Kiki45~

Welcome here to the Forum. I can understand why you would be feeling worried - and a bit lost. From everything you have said there does not appear to be an obvious reason for the change in your sister's behavior, and the fact she treats your parents in the same way does tend to point out it is not you or anything you in particular have done.

As people become more adult their interests and behavior does change, plus romantic interest can come onto the scene. Peer pressure remains, and what was ordinary before may be un-cool now. Unfortunately alcohol and drugs sometimes comes in the picture too. The phone does increasingly take up a bigger slice of life.

It is great you care so much for your sister, however I'm not sure there is much you can do. She is changing, which is why you did not know she had a new musical interest, and is less thoughtful. Apart from looking out for signs of possibly harmful behavior such as excessive drink all I'd suggest is to talk matters over with your parents and simply wait it out.

Gently letting her know you are still the same person and there for her might be an option, but not something that should be emphasized too much, you are not trying to 'take over'. Giving her space might be what she needs.

Croix

[Kiki45]

Thank you for the help 🙂

[Croix]

Dear Kiki45~

You are very welcome, please let us know how get on

Croix