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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Vantez66 Adult sons lying
  • replies: 8

This is tough. We have just found out that our 22yo son has lied about his university course, to the point where he told us he was invited to do first class honours for which he received a distinction mark. He failed subjects in his second year and b... View more

This is tough. We have just found out that our 22yo son has lied about his university course, to the point where he told us he was invited to do first class honours for which he received a distinction mark. He failed subjects in his second year and by the time third year came around he was asked to leave due to continued failure and poor performance. We found out he lied because we asked him about the graduation ceremony which he lied about too. He broke down and told us he had lied because he couldn't cope and felt like a failure.This has been quite a sad blow for us as parents, the lies have snowballed and we are feeling like terrible parents, as though we have made it difficult for him to come to us for support or help.Are we bad parents? Where can we go from here? I have suggested some counselling for him and ourselves because we are swinging between angry and sad. Our trust has be broken, it's devastating. Any help would be appreciated

Shirlz Husband left me for an infatuation
  • replies: 7

My 62 yo husband claims he has fallen in love with a 25 yo who he has had no intimate contact with and has only known for a few weeks/ months. Throughout our 20 year together we have never fought or argued. He claims he still loves me but not in that... View more

My 62 yo husband claims he has fallen in love with a 25 yo who he has had no intimate contact with and has only known for a few weeks/ months. Throughout our 20 year together we have never fought or argued. He claims he still loves me but not in that way. I am devastated, cannot eat or sleep, I just want him back. I have given him some time to work himself out and am willing to give him a chance if he decides this was just an infatuation.

LeopardLilly I think my Mum is getting depressed and giving up
  • replies: 1

Hi, My mum has always been a very strong person, she's been through three miscarriages before having my sister and I and has had to deal with my grandparents and dad for 22 years. She was always a very strong-minded and strict person, but she is weak... View more

Hi, My mum has always been a very strong person, she's been through three miscarriages before having my sister and I and has had to deal with my grandparents and dad for 22 years. She was always a very strong-minded and strict person, but she is weak physically and has a lot of medical issues. In recent years she was also diagnosed as Severely Celiac, and it's changed the whole family's lifestyle. The thing is, she has never gotten the support she wants from dad, even when it comes to talking to my grandparents. She simply wants him to spend time with her and love her by being there rather than give her flowers and take her to fancy places to eat. Unfortunately, my father doesn't understand this at all. Recently I was in the car with her and she littered so I made a joke about being disappointed in her, she began crying saying she is a disappointment. I tried to console her but didn't know what to say. Then she talked about how she wished she was just appreciated but knew she never would be, and then she said, "I hope I die before your grandparents so that your dad will finally realise how much I mean to him." It broke my heart that she thought that. Lately she looks sadder and sadder, I try to help in the house as much as I can and get everyone to do things together but nothing seems to work. Mum doesn't believe in divorce but I do think her and dad need a break. How do I stop everything from falling apart?

Van N Anger and hate toward my mother's church
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, Part of my background story The doctor labeled me with schizophrenia, depression with some element of social avoidance disorder. Pushing people cause confusion to thinking I didn't want to be around people. I was afraid of rejection. I w... View more

Hi everyone, Part of my background story The doctor labeled me with schizophrenia, depression with some element of social avoidance disorder. Pushing people cause confusion to thinking I didn't want to be around people. I was afraid of rejection. I work hard to do well in my studies which resulted me attract the wrong type of people. I grew up with no one from year 12. Had a crappy life with younger brother that bullied me along with his friends. Poor Atar score was a result. It just lower my self esteem even further. 6 years of engineering was crap as well. Bullies and my emotion of stalker and harasser got into my life. Extremely lonely.I don't remembered how my body aching with fatigue to point of my final year. Hated my mother church cult behaviour. Constant nagging from granny and my mother resulted hearing their hear my polar opposite thinking that constantly talking to me about how much i hate evangelical Church . It is the attitude towards people that annoys me. Non believer mistreatment and not allow to question the pastor behaviour in putting people down to tears. Church uses source of isolation for non followers. My mental health end up with family that criticise that I can fight it without going to doctors. Only my sister and one close friend that understand most of my mental health which help a lot. Negative thoughts and worries continued but the drowsiness of the anti-psychotic made me just want to sleep. my way of distract that I really following quotes from Naruto is: "Rejection is part of any man's life.If you cannot accept and move past rejection, or at least uses it in a writing material- your not a real man" -Pervy sage "Getting dumped always make a man stronger, but then again men aren't meant to pursue happiness" Pervy sage Take care, Van

Plantsandcats I have no mum and feel completely lost, preengagement
  • replies: 3

Hi all, first time poster here. I lost my mum to cancer when I was 15, I'm 27 now and have been looking at rings with my partner, as we'd like to get hitched some time soon. Our relationship is amazing, I couldn't ask for a more supporting partner. I... View more

Hi all, first time poster here. I lost my mum to cancer when I was 15, I'm 27 now and have been looking at rings with my partner, as we'd like to get hitched some time soon. Our relationship is amazing, I couldn't ask for a more supporting partner. I should be happy and excited but I literally can't. I have no mum to enthuse with, I have no mum to guide me, and I dont know how anything works when it comes to marriage. My mothers side of the family is estranged from us and my dad doesnt really know how to act in this situation other than to be a dad. I have longstanding anxiety and dysthymia, and had been doing pretty well until one day it all hit me and I realised how much I need a mum. Please help, it has become overwhelming to the point that I dont even want to do it anymore.

Rete Gf broke up with me cause of her studies
  • replies: 11

Me and my gf have been together for 2 yrs and things have been going great. We are both girls btw. This is my first relationship and I really thought she was the one. 2 wks ago she decided that it’s best we separate, she said she is choosing her stud... View more

Me and my gf have been together for 2 yrs and things have been going great. We are both girls btw. This is my first relationship and I really thought she was the one. 2 wks ago she decided that it’s best we separate, she said she is choosing her studies over a relationship. I kept asking her how is that a reasonable explanation to break up and then she told me she doesn’t want to be the breadwinner. Then I just bursted and I wrote to her how she is so selfish etc and how she promised to always love me and we will be together forever. I found out today she deleted all our pics on her Instagram. At the time she broke up with me she said that we could remain friends but after I lashed out she blocked me. I don’t know what to do now, I want to be with her. I have no friends at all and she was the only one to keep me company and now she is gone I have been crying everyday. I don’t understand her reasoning? Why did she suddenly break up with me out of the blue? Is she really happy now that I’m not in her life?

dvdn Breakup & depression
  • replies: 1

Hey. So my boyfriend and I broke up this week. He brought it up but we kind of both mutually agreed to break up. However I still held hope - he said he still loved and cared for me and him not loving me wasn’t the reason for breaking up. Today he tol... View more

Hey. So my boyfriend and I broke up this week. He brought it up but we kind of both mutually agreed to break up. However I still held hope - he said he still loved and cared for me and him not loving me wasn’t the reason for breaking up. Today he told me that he realised he hadn’t actually loved me for a while and he only just realised. This absolutely crushed me. I already deal with depression and anxiety. But hearing someone you love, who you thought loved you - tells you he didn’t love you. I’m so heartbroken. We were together for nearly 3 years and lived together (the first boyfriend I’ve lived with and saw a future with). I know there’s nothing to do to help but I don’t have many friends and needed to rant to someone.

Shazzy62 dont know what to do next
  • replies: 63

Last week I seperated from my partner of 5 years, this was his choice, I am completely devastated. I have been researching help on line and all I can find is the No Contact rule- is this the way to go?

Last week I seperated from my partner of 5 years, this was his choice, I am completely devastated. I have been researching help on line and all I can find is the No Contact rule- is this the way to go?

A_Random_Emily Can't sleep, Can't Eat and Can barely drink
  • replies: 3

Recently I went through a tough time in friendship side. I also just ate for the first time in two days, I couldn't eat any other days but I tried to eat dinner. Now I feel like throwing up- is this a bad thing? I also haven't been able to sleep in 2... View more

Recently I went through a tough time in friendship side. I also just ate for the first time in two days, I couldn't eat any other days but I tried to eat dinner. Now I feel like throwing up- is this a bad thing? I also haven't been able to sleep in 2 days either, and I can barely drink any water, even though I try so hard. What should I do?

MollyLenz I don't know what's wrong with me
  • replies: 1

Hi I am joining this community because I no longer know where to turn. I have struggled with what feels to me to be some sort of depression where I experience periods (~1 year long) where I lose all sense of self, lack energy for anything, become ove... View more

Hi I am joining this community because I no longer know where to turn. I have struggled with what feels to me to be some sort of depression where I experience periods (~1 year long) where I lose all sense of self, lack energy for anything, become overwhelmed with constant suicidal thoughts, feel too anxious and depleted to study, function, get out of bed and make plans, start crying out of the blue, eat or fast excessively to try to feel better, and feel like the world has become a pointless grey with all of the aspects of life and my surroundings merging into one boring entity, rather than the diversity of excitement and enjoyment they used to be. I can't focus on a task for long and I can't talk to people without constantly changing topic. Everything around me depresses and upsets me. In the past I have struggled with anorexia and this is a constant thing I have been dealing with on a background level for the past 7-8 years, it never fully goes away. About a month or two ago my (now ex) boyfriend and I broke up. These feelings of grey dullness crept in before our breakup, in about December, but now they are stronger than they were even then. I felt lonely in the relationship and I feel lonely now too. My ex would rarely talk to me when we weren't physically together and he criticised me often and reduced my self-esteem down to a crisp even though all I ever wanted to do for him was to build him up and fix what seemed to me to be an unnecessarily fragile self-esteem. My ex shares a dorm and a friendship group with me so moving on from him feels impossible, and seeing him constantly is like having the scab over a gaping wound continually picked away. I think if there was someone next to me who I vibed with fantastically all the time, I would never feel this way, so perhaps it all stems from loneliness. But no matter how many friends I see or how much time I spend with my family or how many friends I make online I still feel awful and alone. And when I sit down to study my mind has time to fester and think over these things that make me feel this way and I start panicking and cannot study anymore. I feel trapped within me and with these thoughts all the time. And sometimes I do feel a bit better, mostly when I am with my friends when my ex isn't around. But when these negative feelings take over I lose all sense of rationality and will to live and I am afraid that one day they will take over to an extent that I won't be able to fight them anymore.

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