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she left me

somebodyinneed
Community Member

Okay from the beginning,

​I went to work and there was a new intern/ work experience placement . When I met her I didmt know what to say but over the day we began flirting and so on, I asked her out to dinner, she sai no, but continued to flirt with me, whem the day ended I said goodbye and she kissed me, gave me her number and went home. She texted me later on apologizing to me saying that she was in a log distance relationship with someone in the us that shes dating a guy in the us who she never met in person. After talking it out over the weekend she said she wanted to be with me. Over th next 2 months we were doin this same loop where she got sad cox she betrayed this other guy amd then I cheered her up amd she was happy, we went on dates spet tie together I fell in love quickly because she is perfect. Sh told me the same. We were happy for a few months then one morming aftr a date the previous day she texts me sayng she doemst love me and tells me she is goimg to gi back ti beijg with thisnother guy. I objected obviously and by the time I even got to text back a wait lets talk about thi for a second she had blocked me, I have been trying for the past month to contact her and all she said to me was to forget about her. I need help because every night for te past month, I have cried myself to sleep thinkig about her, missin her and I have found my self thinking about things ive never thought of before.

What do I do? I love this person very dearly despite the complications, I believe that at she did in fact live me too, I miss her every day I am constantly reminded of her and it really hurts nt being able to talk to her. I just cant give up on the feelings I felt when we were together, I was happier than ive ever been in my life, she makes me feel whole and complete, she filleda huge void in my life, but now that she is gome there is an even larger one left where she was, I just miss her so much.

thank you for any help that is suggested

3 Replies 3

JessF
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello somebodyinneed, based on your post it sounds like you have been played, sadly. By blocking you and preventing contact she has made her wishes quite clear.

Your feelings sound quite intense, it is very common to feel this way when meeting a new person and in the full flush of infatuation. I'm not sure how old you are, but I know when I was younger I often fell into the trap of thinking men I fell in love with were "perfect" and the "only one". It's a bit like how when you've had a drink, everything you think seems like a good idea and everything you say seems funny. And love is the ultimate drug!

My suggestion to you would be to (1) start the process of letting her go; she indicated from the start that she was not emotionally available. This should be a red flag to put in the book for future when you meet women. Anyone who says at the start that they have feelings for someone else is not ready for a relationship, despite what they might say after a weekend of passion. (2) reflect on the feelings you're having about "she makes me feel whole and complete, she filled a huge void in my life". What exactly is it that you are missing in your life? What is that void? No one person will ever be able to meet all our emotional needs as life goes forward. This could perhaps be a learning experience for understanding what changes you need to make in your life to be happy as you, as an individual, before you seek a new companion for the next phase of your journey.

pipsy
Community Member

Hi somebodyinneed. I'm actually in a similar situation as this girl you met. I am involved in an online, relationship. Unlike your colleague I have met the guy I'm involved with. I, like your friend would often like to connect with someone nearby that I could have the occasional outing with. However, my strong online relationship means that, to me, seeing someone else is not 'on'. My work colleagues often suggest outings and dinners etc, if it is a 'group' outing, no problem. However 'dating' is not an option as my relationship is important to me. I believe you do love this girl, but in the long run you will be the one to lose, as her feelings for this other person will always be there. I know it hurts but to persist in something that isn't going to happen hurts more. You need to respect her wishes and leave her to her bf.

Lynda

159357
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Some relationships lead to happiness never experienced before, with the opposite effect happening when they leave. The best thing is to not try to contact her, your journey may be long as i still cry myself to sleep after months (rip). Hopefully you will soon find a way to become happy again, the void left might still always be there but try to cover it up. Maybe if forced to think about her for some reason think about all the times that you were happy with her, but don't fall in love with her again. Please move on, it's the best thing for you.