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Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner

Azzdog
Community Member

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense.

I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it.

My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

846 Replies 846

Azzdog
Community Member

I have been feeling this way for well over 10 years. I have put so much effort into building my life and keep hitting road blocks. I feel so jaded and cynical about life that I dont have much hope for the future.

 

I have a safety plan but I dont know what to do anymore. I want practical strategies to solve my problems. I dont want vague platitudes and cliches. I WANT TO START LIVING NOW AND ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING

Azzdog
Community Member

Does anyone else feel the slow, creeping feeling of death creeping up on them? I do

Azzdog
Community Member

I hate the fact that all I seem to do is exist. I dont want to talk to professional supports I just want a life worth living. how much more effort do I need to put in I am on the canvass right now life is so unfair

Azzdog
Community Member

I dont like the idea of being gaslit about wanting connection in life but it happens all the time.

 

I just want to be in a group that is excited to see me and wants to talk to me outside of the group too. I have never felt that in any group I have been associated with. I always get the feeling people dont want me around at all. I dont know what group specifically could do that, but I just want to be acknowledged as a functioning member of society, not some punching bag for someone else.

Azzdog
Community Member

There are hobbies I enjoy and I have tried to go to those different groups. I just feel lost and alone in this world. My phone is always quiet and I have no one checking on with me. I hate this planet so much

Azzdog
Community Member

I feel like I am complaining a lot but I dont know where else to go. I cant really afford to see a therapist at the moment.

 

It makes me so sad to see others with friendships or relationships when they dont really deserve it. What I mean is that they just take advantage of others and treat others like absolute crap. Yet they dont seem to be short on a social life or a romantic life and I dont understand why that is the case. I feel like I have been there for so many people over the years just to be routinely taken advantage of or taken for granted. It’s meant I struggle to trust others and now I am on my own with nothing to show for all the goodwill ive given out. 

 

I feel like I am holding on to thin air at the moment. I feel empty and I feel like giving up. I hate this world.

Azzdog
Community Member

Christmas is going to suck this year. My grandpa died earlier this year so the family just keeps shrinking and shrinking. Another family member has decided they are going to do something else this year at Christmas. I already want the season over.

 

I barely have any friends and I am not in a relationship so I already feel incredibly lonely, I have spent Christmas in hospital before so I worry that will happen again.

Azzdog
Community Member

Why is everyone I know in a relationship but not me? Why are there some people out there who are non-monogamous and have it easier than me? I could save the world from a meteorite hitting the planet and no one would care. Why am I so damn invisible to everyone? I hate this planet so much 

Azzdog
Community Member

I wish there was a support group for single people who struggle with this stuff. In all of the hustle and bustle of modern life we have seemingly taken relationships for granted and there is an expectation they should just happen. 

 

I know I need to be positive but I dont think it will happen to me. Women dont see me as a viable option with any feelings or thoughts. I am just a ghost

Azzdog
Community Member

I feel so damn triggered. How are people in multiple relationships and I can’t even get into one? This is absolutely bullshit and I hate it so much. Life is so terrible and I wish the planet just blew up now and wiped us all out