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Seeking advice

Community Member

I have found on my partners phone that he has been commenting on other girls pictures but sexual comments and comments putting me down like my girl isn't like that with a sad face. Asking their names ect. I guess the line that was crossed for me when 1. the comments became sexual and 2. when he involved me in those comments.

I'm so hurt and confused. We have been together 10years and never would I have thought he would say something of the things he has said. A few of the comments and so disrespectful not only to me but the women in the pictures. Its like I feel like hes cheated but not physically. 10 years and I feel like I don't know him. Im really really struggling with how to cope with it and I confronted him about it. He has said sorry but I guess if I hadn't seen them then he wouldn't have ever felt sorry or bad about what he was writing. Like I guess they are only sorry once they get caught.

I feel like after 10 years im still getting to know who he is and I don't like it. Its so hard because I love him so much. I aware he hasn't physically done anything but I just feel sick that hes not only looking and desiring other women but hes also taking the next step of leaving a comment.

I guess im asking how do I cope with this? Are all men like this? Am I over reacting?

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi peppa

i can kind of relate to you. I saw my ex send a heart and kiss to someone and then a couple of pictures. I saw these on the day he broke up with me. I don’t believe he cheated physically as they both live far away from each other but it still hurt. It’s called micro-cheating.

i didn’t confront him at first. That was my mistake. But he told me it was nothing. I haven’t heard from him since. So I felt completely rejected all over again.

how do I cope? We had broken up so that’s what made it easier for me. Just know that it isn’t you. Any behaviour he does is on him and a reflection on him.

There is no way you overreacted. this is something I think about too. But, at the end of the day, you have boundaries in a relationship. You also have to think that it is disrespectful to you and your relationship.