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Relationships and expectations

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion
If you believe relationship should have zero expectations, you are mistaken. There should be a minimum of obligations to your partner. In that framework is communication, teamwork and care.

Side issues are more complex- In laws is a prime example. Conventionally one is expected to blend into them although you didn't marry them. So tolerance is required and your own expectation that you can love your partners family and maybe they'll love you back? It's great when that all works out but we all know it's a gamble.

For best mental health we should seek and strengthen those relationships that have obligations that do not place pressure on you. If the realisation arrives that isnt working out then a sensible measured plan of action is ideal. E.g. you don't like how your mother in law controls you or you can't reach her expectations...you can try a drift away approach before even considering - no contact. Sometimes your partner is dissatisfied with this decision - again expectations at play. You see my message, that expectations/obligations smother our freedom and can lead us to feel abandoned and worthless. Pressure from others can lead to guilt feelings.

So in such situations you might also have expectations of your partner, to comfort/support you from toxic relationships. It's not that simple. Those without mental illness won't understand you.

So keep your expectations minimal. And resist too many from others. It's ok to put your own needs as priority as long as you return love and care to others when you are capable. Anything beyond basic traditional expectations is unfair and needs boundaries. Your partner should try to understand these needs.

Do you think too many expectations from others has an adverse affect on your well being?

TonyWK
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