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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Ahjlees I hate myself
  • replies: 1

Hi, So I’ve been internally struggling with this for awhile and I think I need help. I’m all over the place emotionally and it’s physically taking its toll. I’m not even sure how to put my thoughts down on paper, for lack of a better term. I’m a mess... View more

Hi, So I’ve been internally struggling with this for awhile and I think I need help. I’m all over the place emotionally and it’s physically taking its toll. I’m not even sure how to put my thoughts down on paper, for lack of a better term. I’m a mess about my relationship with my boyfriend. He’s my first and we are still navigating this thing together. Our relationship has been (I don’t even know the word) from the start; Our mutual (now ex-) friend acted like a go between as if we were teenagers. I found out they were planning things behind my back. That same ‘friend’ involved herself in our relationship to an uncomfortable degree and ended up involving my sister too. Our relationship caused issues with that ‘friend’ and her husband, also a (now ex) friend. We had a lot of stress and anxiety due to a pre-planned overseas holiday with said ‘friends’. He helped pay for a chunk of the trip for me as did my parents (this is a very long story). I was incredibly emotional on the trip and had several breakdowns, one of which involved me sleeping for most of a day. I’m still emotional and seem to get upset about anything and everything. I’ve gone through stages of crying after talking to him on the phone, of not wanting him to touch me and when he is visiting of wanting him to go home. I’m sick of feeling this way and have had thoughts of breaking up with him so I don’t have to. I love him and hate myself for feeling this way, for wanting to break up with him, for being a wreck. I just hate myself.

MummaJem23 Having dreams about my ex boyfriend is tearing me apart!
  • replies: 4

Little bit of back story.. 2 and a half years ago at 20 years old I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I felt unloved and second best, 6 months later I met someone else and unexpectedly fell pregnant to him pretty quickly. I decided to kee... View more

Little bit of back story.. 2 and a half years ago at 20 years old I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I felt unloved and second best, 6 months later I met someone else and unexpectedly fell pregnant to him pretty quickly. I decided to keep the baby as I myself couldn't go through with an abortion, we moved in together and things were good for a little. Fast forward to now I'm 23, have a 17 month old and have recently ended my relationship for the 2nd time in 6 months because of the father's gaming habits and other issues he has to change but we still have to live together for another 4 months before moving. We are still on good terms but it's been difficult as we have had problems for a long time. Now the huge thing I've been struggling with is I have been having quite vivid dreams about my ex boyfriend for almost 1 year now, mostly about being back with him again. I wake up feeling so guilty and upset because he has had a new girlfriend for about 6 months and I obviously still care for my child's father very much, my ex and I only speak very occasionally and he isn't a part of my everyday life anymore so having these dreams is taking a huge toll on my mental health. I feel like I have tried everything I can think of to let him go and push thoughts of him out of my mind but nothing is helping, the longer I keep it to myself the worse I feel! In my mind it's like I don't think I ever stopped loving him and I'm in denial or maybe it's just that I never really got proper closure when it came to the end of our relationship, I feel like I'm at a huge crossroads in my life and I need help. I'm torn about whether I should ask him to catch up and tell him what's been going on or not, the last thing I want is to damage his new relationship but I feel like it's my only way to get closure and not feel like this anymore! Please any advice is greatly appreciated!

Wings90 husband is demanding controlling and doesn’t help much with kids.
  • replies: 3

So my husband works away, whilst away we get on great we communicate each day etc. when he is home, he is on rnr. That’s his words, so I agree have a day maybe 2 to just catch up on sleep or rest whatever. He sees looking after our children as babysi... View more

So my husband works away, whilst away we get on great we communicate each day etc. when he is home, he is on rnr. That’s his words, so I agree have a day maybe 2 to just catch up on sleep or rest whatever. He sees looking after our children as babysitting. He has to be nagged to help with his kids. He doesn’t help around the house when he’s home, I would ask to do dishes or Vac just one thing whilst I work. He doesn’t have the kids whilst I work he refuses to and won’t pickup or dropoff to school the eldest. he has said that when he’s home I shouldn’t be out and about for say one night for a coffee at my friends or even a dinner etc because why should he look after the kids whilst I’m out I should do that whilst he’s working away. he should just take the keys off me and I should ask for them to go out. I “only” work part time as with multiple kids it wasn’t financially effective for me to return fulltime and he knows this he was part of that decision. we all live a life of luxury here apparently also his words this is not the case he knows I’m working, being Mum and running the house I’m an introvert so even going out for a night out would be maybe once in 3 months and it has been very rarely when he has been home it’s been a friends important birthday etc This is just so against everything I believe in, I always say I won’t have my kids grow up this way they are to share house work and parental responsibilities I don’t want them thinking this is normal or ok. where do I go next?

Dana123 So MUCH relationship anxiety and sabotaging love
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I am at a loss at this point. I have soo much anxiety when it comes to romantic relationships. I can't handle it when things get a little serious. It feels like too much of a burden. I don't know why I can't seem to enjoy it. I will come up ... View more

Hi guys, I am at a loss at this point. I have soo much anxiety when it comes to romantic relationships. I can't handle it when things get a little serious. It feels like too much of a burden. I don't know why I can't seem to enjoy it. I will come up with any reason why the relationship can't work, become overly critical of the person and try and withdrawal. I'll get uncomfortable when they are verbally affectionate. This anxiety is stopping be from feeling an attraction and I just shut off. I know I have a desire for a relationship but I also know I have so many issues to work on. I'm getting to know a guy and initially I was attracted and he's great, but I just can't open up or feel excited anymore. I also can't seem to trust myself to make decisions about the relationship and am so doubtful. All I want to do is break it off! I've started to address this issue with a psych, but I just don't know what to do.

Stacy_1113 Can’t take anymore
  • replies: 13

I have been with my husband for around 7 years. We have a 4 year old daughter and I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant. daily he makes me cry. He hates my mum and is always telling me things to turn me against her. He doesn’t like her seeing me or my daugh... View more

I have been with my husband for around 7 years. We have a 4 year old daughter and I’m currently 6 weeks pregnant. daily he makes me cry. He hates my mum and is always telling me things to turn me against her. He doesn’t like her seeing me or my daughter when she travels to Sydney (she lives in another state). He is constantly calling me through the day to check up on me and if I do not answer the phone I’m scared of the outcome. He questions me about absolutely everything and always tells me what I can and can’t do. when I’ve had enough and start to cry he screams at me that I’m a baby and I’m pathetic. When I’m quiet and don’t want to talk because I’m scared to talk as everything I say is wrong he gets angry. He always says I have issues and things I’d i fight back when he is nasty. He manipulated me constantly. i find the only way to cope is to agree with every single thing he wants. But I’m getting fed up of living like this. I am so alone due to corona virus I lost my part time job and I’m just at home. I was very close to my grandmother but she recently passed away so now I have no one to talk to. he caused so many problems for me when my grandmother was sick and even after she passed. He is not supportive in any way at all. He didn’t want my mum around when her mother my grandmother was dying. he is very over weight and blames me for this because he says I don’t pack his lunch or wake up and make him breakfast. I am not overweight but now that I am pregnant he keeps making comments that I am. i really hate being in this situation and actually hate it when he comes home each day. I would love to just have some time alone away with my daughter but he scares me so much. I don’t think I could leave him. He has punched holes in walls and broken a lot of things in the home and I get very scared he is going to hurt me.

Nick123 Don't know how to ask my parents for help and I am afraid of the answer
  • replies: 2

Often when I show emotions to my family I am met with a response of, "I am just a teen" or "you're being a baby". Because of this I am scared to ask them for help because I feel that they will dismiss it as being a "teen". Because of my brothers deat... View more

Often when I show emotions to my family I am met with a response of, "I am just a teen" or "you're being a baby". Because of this I am scared to ask them for help because I feel that they will dismiss it as being a "teen". Because of my brothers death everyone has been on edge and in turn everyone have been quite mean and dismissive. My family have also been trying to protect my parents. I feel that if I say I need help as well it will be seen as me trying to get attention and not taken seriously.

Bubsymc Adult separation anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m a newbie to this forum. I suffer really bad anxiety when my husband goes out without me - only for a few hours. It’s really hurting him but I can’t seem to control the anxiety or jealousy that he’s having a good time and I’m not. It’s destroyi... View more

Hi I’m a newbie to this forum. I suffer really bad anxiety when my husband goes out without me - only for a few hours. It’s really hurting him but I can’t seem to control the anxiety or jealousy that he’s having a good time and I’m not. It’s destroying our long marriage. It’s like an out of body experience that I can’t control - crying, can’t eat or sleep and sometimes anger. And sometimes I’m not even aware of it happening like it’s all in subconscious and then manifests out itself later on. Seen a few psychologists and can’t seem to find the root cause to stop this. Had anyone experienced this? Thanks.

WTCTC New to this - Dont know where to start
  • replies: 2

Not sure where to start but wanting change. My husband and I are in a horrible cycle and I feel useless and unable to do anything right - well - what ever I do feels wrong and the cycle begins again!! We have 2 beautiful children - Our son 13 and my ... View more

Not sure where to start but wanting change. My husband and I are in a horrible cycle and I feel useless and unable to do anything right - well - what ever I do feels wrong and the cycle begins again!! We have 2 beautiful children - Our son 13 and my daughter age 11 who has OCD - diagnose 2 years ago and who I continue to try and support but know our continual fighting and arguments are destroying any efforts in trying to help her work thru her world...along with this COVID pandemic her OCD is just crippling at times -to all the family. Most of my days are filled with thoughts of blame - hating myself for my daughter OCD as we feed off each other when we are in this state - my son cry's when there is another argument that and unpleasant incident in the household - my thoughts of how to get out of this situation is constant - I have had enough and don't know how to stop this roller coaster of emotions. Maybe this is the start - know I need help - just overwhelming to make a start Feeling hopeful to change this cycle Overwhelmed and feeling exhausted

Isla_Dreams Deciding to start a family when you can't even decide what's for lunch!
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for 8 years almost, in our early 30's. All our friends/family are starting their own families and I am feeling more pressure than ever to have to decide what to do. It is such a big decision, but of course my anxio... View more

My partner and I have been together for 8 years almost, in our early 30's. All our friends/family are starting their own families and I am feeling more pressure than ever to have to decide what to do. It is such a big decision, but of course my anxious mind is clouding everything. I can't decide what to have for lunch, let alone decide if I want to have a child! A part of me wants that, but then I am overcome with issues of my own self doubt and insecurities and feel like It is safer for me to just remain childless so as not to burden them with my worries and woes. My partner doesn't seem to want to talk about it, and doesn't not seem to be thinking about theses much as I do. I am at a good place In my job and we are trying to save for a house, which will be impossible on one income. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? I think about it constantly, distracting me from my everyday. We have so many friends and family constantly asking if we are going to have kids, and I am sure I am being paranoid, but feel really judged because we aren't trying for a family.