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Relationship Worries...

Ella78
Community Member

Hi, I am new to this site and to be honest not sure what I am looking for. Maybe I just want to get what's off my chest and for someone to listen or maybe it's more...

My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we recently got married and have a 2 year old son and one on the way. I am continuously finding out small lies and then big lies either from friends, family members or even just going through his phone (this makes me feel guilty). I am starting to question things and my trust has been completely shot and I don't know how to get passed it. I also have minimal help around the house, I do all he house work with no social life whatsoever.

Am I being silly? I feel like I'm starting to get down as I continually overthink shit.

3 Replies 3

pipsy
Community Member

Hi Ella 78. My name is Lynda. You have a lot to contend with, a young child, pregnant and no help. I don't think you're being silly, you need help and input from hubby. What sort of lies are you finding out? Are you talking 'cheating' lies or he's supposed to be working overtime but instead out with mates? You need to be certain he is where he says he is. The only way to be sure is to ask him exactly what's going on. I wouldn't accuse him as such, but mention you've heard 'rumours'. Don't say who told you what, that puts them right, smack, bang in the middle. You married him, believing him, you want honesty, ask him. Hopefully he's going to be honest, hopefully, also, there is no cause for alarm. Has he received texts, perhaps next time he receives one, you could sneak a peek. I don't usually advocate sneaking, but if he's not going to be up front, what choice does he give you?

I hope your fears are groundless.

Ella78
Community Member

Thank you.

I have found sneaky messages with girls and I've also found messages to people who he said he's no longer friends with but wants to catch up with them.

pipsy
Community Member

Hi Ella78. When you say people he used to be friends with, he wants to catch up. I presume you're still talking previous gf's. Or he could be saying friends, but you feel it's other girls. You're going to have to ask him straight out what's going on. The longer it continues, the more uneasy you're going to feel. Is he naturally flirtatious, that sort of thing only makes you feel more uneasy. When you're pregnant, as you probably are aware, the more advanced your pregnancy, gets the more unattractive you feel. Nip these feelings of 'perhaps he is, perhaps he isn't' in the bud before they completely engulf you. How pregnant are you, do you have family you can turn to for support? If he is 'looking around' and I hope and pray he isn't, you're going to need all the emotional support you can get. Ask him directly what is going on. As I said earlier, tell him you've heard talk. If he tries to laugh it off, tell him it's not funny. Tell him you're upset. He needs to know he's hurting you.

BB is 100% here for you.