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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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CK1234567890 My partner is pushing me away
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 months. We rarely fight, we have common interests and right from the start everything was wonderful up until a week ago. We had plans for the saturday night and when the time came to go see him, he message ... View more

My boyfriend and i have been together for 5 months. We rarely fight, we have common interests and right from the start everything was wonderful up until a week ago. We had plans for the saturday night and when the time came to go see him, he message and said he was not feeling right, had a lot on his mind and was feeling overwhelmed with the things in his life. He said he was sorry for pushing me away and didn't want to hurt my feelings but he didn't know what he was going to do. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me. I spoke to him face to face that night and he said that he wanted to be with me, that he enjoyed spending time with me and that he didn't want to lose me. We spoke via text every day during the week and i gave him space to think. He had family over this weekend, but he arranged to catch up with me sometime saturday. When i messaged him saturday i got no reply until 5pm when he said he was on the roof all day. We talked and arranged to meet Sunday at his house. I go around on Sunday to find he isn't there and he hasn't returned any of my calls or text messages. I sad in one of them that i was aware that something was wrong but we can't fix it without talking and still nothing. I am already not enjoying my job and quite a few things have gone wrong. I have felt anxious and upset all last week and today i am struggling to stop myself from crying. I feel like i dont have anything positive to focus on, because everything seems to have gone wrong at once. I don't know what i have done wrong or what i could have possibly done to avoid feeling like this, but now i'm struggling to cope. I'm terrified of being alone and i think i am in love with this guy which makes it that much more painful. I just don't know what to do and i know that a couple of weeks is hardly anything. People live feeling like this for years and i know my situation sounds pathetic, but i just can't shake the horrible, overwhelming sad feeling.

Lookingforpeace Sad, lonely and craving affection
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone Just feeling a bit sad and lonely and need to vent. I've been with my partner for 5 years and he's never been overly affectionate (whether in public or privately), and i have always told him that's something I crave. Well last year we had... View more

Hi everyone Just feeling a bit sad and lonely and need to vent. I've been with my partner for 5 years and he's never been overly affectionate (whether in public or privately), and i have always told him that's something I crave. Well last year we had lots of problems and seem to have gotten through them, but lately I've been finding myself just feeling really lonely and unloved because he's still not giving me the affection I need and I'm still healing from our issues of last year. I tend to get a lot of attention from other men but obviously don't want to go 'elsewhere' for the attention i crave. What more can I do when i have told him specifically that's what i need??

JJTangled Breakup + loneliness = unhappiness
  • replies: 1

I have a few positives in my life. My professional life is fabulous aside from the extreme tiredness and I'm nearing completion of a Masters degree. I have two beautiful children who I adore. However, I feel very unfulfilled. My marriage ended almost... View more

I have a few positives in my life. My professional life is fabulous aside from the extreme tiredness and I'm nearing completion of a Masters degree. I have two beautiful children who I adore. However, I feel very unfulfilled. My marriage ended almost 4 years ago and I continue to struggle with 'getting over it'. I feel like maybe I never properly grieved or sought help at the time. Coupled with the ending of it, I lost many friendships and my "in laws" whom I felt were family. I have no family in Brisbane. I feel dreadfully alone at times I don't know even know when I last invited to dinner/coffee/movie with a friend let alone when one contacted me just to touch base. Xmas Day I was alone in my home doing work waiting for my kids to arrive. Xmas Eve was alone. I wonder quite often whether they'd even notice if I moved away or other things. I'm considering a move to North Qld to be closer to my family but that comes loaded with other issues. I sink to very low points at times and consider other options which have a less than ideal outcome. It's such a sad and lonely place to be...to think you could just pop off and barely anyone would notice. it makes me question my value and worth to others. I have joined a social group but that is hard to fit in with - work, study and parenting. Just wanting some advice I suppose about how to get over my marriage breakdown and move on happily and how to combat this terrible loneliness. Thank you. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

elouisef23 Post Breakup Depression
  • replies: 6

I've struggled with depression and anxiety since late childhood (I'm now 25) but had started to get a bit back on track this year and feeling stronger. A couple of weeks ago my long term boyfriend broke up with me and it's really thrown me. At the st... View more

I've struggled with depression and anxiety since late childhood (I'm now 25) but had started to get a bit back on track this year and feeling stronger. A couple of weeks ago my long term boyfriend broke up with me and it's really thrown me. At the start I felt grief and cried a lot but now it's morphed into depression and in many ways is more difficult to deal with as I fear it never ending. I'm aware that he's just one person, I'll probably meet someone else and I have to keep living but knowing this doesn't relieve the depression. I now really struggle to get up in the mornings, don't want to go to uni or see anyone and struggle to see the light and the hope. I realise now I was way too reliant on him as my closest friend and connection as I'd just moved to a new city when we met and I do not have any other close friends here. I am fortunate to have family support but they have their own lives and I really miss having that close connection I had with my boyfriend. I know I need to meet new people but it's so difficult when I'm feeling so depressed and isolated and I fear I'll never experience the same connection again. Has anyone been through this and emerged the other side?

mause alone and rejected by love ones
  • replies: 4

I have always suffered from depression all my life so I find it difficult to make friends and connect with people. My daughter was married in December last year overseas, everything I thought was wonderful. I have 2 daughters both are adopted from Ko... View more

I have always suffered from depression all my life so I find it difficult to make friends and connect with people. My daughter was married in December last year overseas, everything I thought was wonderful. I have 2 daughters both are adopted from Korea. At my daughters wedding we (my husband and I) found out our daughter was ashamed of us, our family was placed at the back of the church and at the reception our table was at the back corner if front of huge speakers which made it impossible to sit there. She removed the father and daughter dance so she wouldn't have to dance with my husband (her father). We were devastated and humiliated. We didn't say anything at the wedding but did the following day. She didn't care. She has refused to talk to us since, her new husband tells us she is not ready to talk. I have slipped deeper and deeper into depression since. I realize now that both our daughters are ashamed of having non Asian parents. we didn't see it coming. My husband is coping much better than me. I don't have the support of family and friends, most of my family is dead, and my closest friend lives in another state, so I can only talk to her on the phone. My whole world has collapsed and I can't stop crying, I love my daughters so much and they don't love me.

Michael_c I had it all...and gave it all away. Not coping
  • replies: 4

My wife and a recently just separated after 5 years of marriage, 9 years together.We had the perfect life together, house, 2 beautiful daughters great family life, not struggling for money. The only thing lacking was between us, over the last few yea... View more

My wife and a recently just separated after 5 years of marriage, 9 years together.We had the perfect life together, house, 2 beautiful daughters great family life, not struggling for money. The only thing lacking was between us, over the last few years we had become more like just house mates. I've been working away in the mines for past 7 years, and at first things were fine, when I was away she missed me would call and text all the time. But over the years it became like she only loved me when I wasn't there. When I was home she didn't want to know me. We almost separated after about 2 years of marriage but worked thru it and things got better for a short time.But about a year ago, she started deciding to sleep on the couch instead of in bed with me.No reason given, just felt like it. We didn't share a bed for the next year, the sex life stoped and no matter how hard I tried she wasn't willing to admit anything was wrong? She said it was all fine and completely normal for married couples not to sleep together.she wouldn't even let me sit next to her on the couch or hug her or kiss her almost no physical or emotional contact at all. She pushed me so far away I began to fall out of love with her. That's when I meet another woman, we were just friends but in time I decided to leave my wife, who obviously didn't love me any more, and try somthing new with this new girl.So I told her I wanted a separation. She actually agreed about the separation and admitted she hadn't felt anything for me for a long time, only stayed with me because it was convinient for her life, me providing everything and her not having worked for last 7 years. So I did what I thought was right and told her about this other girl, nothing had happened between us at that point. And she just lost it.Told me I gave up on us to easily and made me feel like the relationship break down was all my fault. After only a month I realised I made a huge mistake leaving her, so I left this other girl, but i fear it's too late, my wife won't take me back. I know we can find our love again but she's still just pushing me away. I'm siting here up in the mines again, feeling so depressed and anxious all the time about how I blew it. I can't sleep can't concerntrate at work, I feel if she Dosen't give us another chance, I just don't know what I'll do.. I want her back she is the love of my life. I just can't let her go, I won't give up on her again, tho I fear she has given up on me. I'm not coping at all..

SheWillBeLoved When will I be okay
  • replies: 1

What do you do when the past two and half years have been spent loving someone, seeing them everyday, planning a future and endless amounts of happiness... What do you do when it's suddenly ripped from beneath you and your left standing there without... View more

What do you do when the past two and half years have been spent loving someone, seeing them everyday, planning a future and endless amounts of happiness... What do you do when it's suddenly ripped from beneath you and your left standing there without hope and with a heavy heart... It's been almost two months since since we broke up but everyday I wake up I hurt just as much if not more than the day it happened. Everything I hoped for is gone. I became so reliant on this person that not I have no idea how to be happy or to live for me. I'm terrified and so very lost. I don't know who to talk to or what I can do to feel better. I wish there was an of switch for loving someone. I wish I could jusy switch off all together and not feel it anymore. I want to run away from it all but I know running away won't fix anything. I want to be me again but I don't know how.

Suhail Cheated betrayed and broken by someone I made my life for 7yrs is there a way out of this pain
  • replies: 2

Hi I am just here to know that what I can do to stop this hurt n pain . I was with my partner for 7 yrs we have a daughter together and we were so happy . But she started cheating on me with someone at work we went thru a hard breakup in 2013 and I k... View more

Hi I am just here to know that what I can do to stop this hurt n pain . I was with my partner for 7 yrs we have a daughter together and we were so happy . But she started cheating on me with someone at work we went thru a hard breakup in 2013 and I kept coming to know that she has been staying at hotels with this other guy spending all her free time on him so I decided to move on n it was hard but I did overcome a lot of pain . But suddenly she came back crying after a year of being with guy that she is very hurt by what happened n that other guy is not worth it and that she made a big mistake . So I supported her again made her overcome her pain n took her back we were back again working on it n she spent all time with me at mine for last 6 months finally I trusted her again n started loving her again but she just left for that guy again and not even saying anything I had to find out on my her mobile she left that she is chatting with other dude and can't wait to see him at a hotel I broke apart again n this time I'm blaming myself so much cause I have her a second chance I lifted her from the bottom where she was left by the other guy and she jus so cold heartedly left me alone without even decency for an explanation . It sucks cause I gave her a second chance I trusted her again blindly .. I love my daughter n I hate to see her face a separation of her parents again for this another guy .. How do I deal with this pain now it just feels it's easier to give up why did I make her my priority again I have so many questions that my brain doesn't stop thinking n my heart sinks a little everytime .. I feel worthless I'm not wanted and how long can I walk out of this house n put a fake smile when I'm dying inside bit by bit everyday I love my daughter she does give me strength to fight but i can't keep fighting anymore I'm not a bad person I didn't do wrong by her I wasn't perfect but I was honest always is there someone who can talk to me or let me know what I can do to feel better .. Is there a way out .. I want to live again and this is not living I feel trapped

dreemer heartbroken 💔
  • replies: 1

So..im new to the forum..and this is my first step at reaching out..i feel a little silly and as if the way ive been feeling is not justified..a bit of background on my story..at the end of 2013 i ended my 12yr partnership which was an extremely diff... View more

So..im new to the forum..and this is my first step at reaching out..i feel a little silly and as if the way ive been feeling is not justified..a bit of background on my story..at the end of 2013 i ended my 12yr partnership which was an extremely difficult decision to make..i needed to do it to be happy in myself...and i was..i met someone new who i fell hard for..we were so in love...but..its come undone for a number of reasons..ive got kids from my previous relationship..he was a bit younger than me and a little immature..but him breaking up with me and telling me he still loves me and one day we might be together..hes confused..its just as hard for him...i dont think he understands at all...i am drowning in my own head..ive tried all the normal heartbreak remedies..excercise..leaning on friends..doing new things..keeping busy etc..but i am not coping..im so sad most of the time..its a real effort to even look after my kids..or get out of bed..i cant enjoy life at all..im trying for my kids but i feel like im drowning in my head...ive made an appointment with my gp but im nervous about it..im nervous about opening up..or if i might need medication..that scares me...im feeling so lost right now

Mavster I think my boyfriend "fell out of love with me" because of depression.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I want to know if anyone has experienced my story and can give me advice. My boyfriend and i were together for around 8 months....madly in love and very close. However, about a month ago, he started becoming moody and withdrawn. This coincided wi... View more

Hi, I want to know if anyone has experienced my story and can give me advice. My boyfriend and i were together for around 8 months....madly in love and very close. However, about a month ago, he started becoming moody and withdrawn. This coincided with expensive root canal, a back injury, not getting enough cash flow and increased stress at work. He also lost interest in sex and was moody that his antibiotics forbade him from drinking. He became snappy and described it as not "feeling like himself" as well a saying he was irritable an didnt want to b around people. I was worried, as this seemed like depression. But i was concerned maybe something was wrong between us to. So i just gave him time and was supportive. After big fight, he assured me i was the best thing in his life, his best friend, and he would be "back to normal soon." Within week, i was dumped via tezt. The only explanation he came up with was that he no longer loves me. I struggled to understand and am still deeply confused and hurt. He says his "feelings just changed". He now says all these things he was doing, the moodiness an withdrawal was because he was unsure of his feelings for me. I struggle to believe this and think maybe he is feeling this way because he is depressed. I still love him so much and am hurt and angry an confused. Can anyone help?