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ifallintofantasy
Community Member
Dose anyone have advice on handing family, i have depression. my relationship with them has been strained.
4 Replies 4

startingnew
Community Member

hello there and welcome to BB

would you be able to provide a little more information about your circumstances so we can get a better idea, so we can better help you

i have depression as well and have a strained relationship wiht my family but slowly slowly rebuilding it up

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Ifallintofantasy~

Welcome back to the Forum, I guess it must have been a couple of years. As Startingnew says it would help us to know more. It's all very well for us to give general advice but this often misses the point.

You mentioned back then you had depression - plus insomnia. Not a good combination. Has that improved at all, or are things just as bad? I don't think you said if you were under any sort of treatment for the depression -would you mind saying please?

I'd also be grateful if you could give an idea of your family, which members you are having trouble with , and the sorts of things that are going wrong.

We'd like to help - please help us to do so

I hope to hear more from you

Croix

I have a problem with anger and ive blame them for things. I am angery at the past and having trouble to let things go that its effect my present. things are piling up and over wellming from me. my dad has recently remarried and i didnt accept her ive treated her like crap. basically i sabotage my relationships. I'm struggling and looking for addition support. i feel like the theorpy is taking time to work. and personally i dont want to spend years like this.

Dear Ifallintofantasy~

Thanks for coming back to me. I have the feeling that this is very hard for you to talk like this.

I also have the feeling we both think families should be part of our lives.

If you were to stand back and try to make an unbiased judgment of your dad and his new partner would you say they were bad people? Do you think they made any effort to include you?

Yes, I know only too well how hard it can be to make a fair judgment when angry or hurt - or even feeling a bit guilty.

If you thought they were people you wanted to get on with I'd try to mend fences.

Whichever one seemed the most likely to listen for a start. It can be amazing what people can forgive - especially if they have a clear understanding of matters.

I know for myself there are two sides to being quick to anger. One side is the rage, the other is eating humble pie afterwards when I've jumped in error, or gone too far.

If you wanted try a peace-pipe. Perhaps it might be best written down so you can think it out without pressure.

If it was me and I'd treated someone like crap I'd say so, and ask if I could say sorry. I'd say why I was doing this, that I wanted things to be better.

If I could - it might not be easy -I'd try to say why I treated them that way, what I was feeling at the time.

All this is a guess based on what I think you feel. I may be wrong about that, I don't know.

Please post again and say what you think

Croix