Pregnant with a short term partner

[thanladies123]

I am 25 years old and recently found out I am nearly 6 weeks pregnant with a short term partner I had that didn’t work out. Since finding out I have been through unexplainably complex feelings and emotions towards the situation. I have informed him that I am pregnant and his first response was “let me know the costs of termination”. I saw my GP to discuss my options, and was told I need to wait a further two weeks as my scans are too early to see anything and can’t receive intervention until then. As you can imagine, this has left me growing more and more comfortable with the idea and increasingly attached to the pregnancy as days go by. The thought of termination makes me feel physically unwell but I know I have to do what is right for the baby. I know I have the means to do this on my own, I have a great accomodating job and the most supportive family and friends in the world that would have my back through it all. But then I can’t help but feel guilty for potentially turning his life upside down for my choices that he has no say in. I’m sorry if this story is all over the place, I feel so stressed and emotionally exhausted. I am basically looking for any positive advise that can be offered to me as I navigate this challenging time. 

[Croix]

Dear Thanladies123~

Welcome here to the Forum, I hope you get advice that fits your needs here.

I'm not going to enter into a discussion about keeping your baby or termination. That is a matter for you - and how you feel, and practicalities like the needs this will put on your family if you are a single mum.

Also I'd like to say that once you have had a baby your attitude to work vs family priorities may well change.

I'm just going to point out that I do not really agree that "for my choices that he has no say in." He as much as you were responsible for your pregnancy, his choice and responsibility as much as yours.

True you get to decide, as it it your body after all, what happens, however he has already shown that he considers termination a done deal - it is not. Whatever his attitude he will need to assist financially if in no other way in bringing your baby up if that is your wish.

While there might be a feeling you should both get together to be parents and may have discussions with the father about this I wonder at the wisdom of doing so, after all he was not someone you wanted to spend your life with and his initial reaction is reluctance. Probably not a very good atmosphere for child-rearing.

I hope whatever you decide things work out well

Croix