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Pain of partner leaving

Shdowz
Community Member
13 year relationship she told me on Xmas Eve 2019 doesn't love me anymore and walked out with the kids (3) now Feb 22 she got a new man
I gave her every thing I don't wanna even stay in this house anymore. Maybe my next life will be better I choose her over my family cause she didn't get a long with them my family don't even care when I try to reconnect my farther calls me up abuses me my mother don't even answer my phone calls my brother keep saying I should have done better
I have literally 1 friend calls me up everyday see how I'm doing besides that have nothing I was a loner growing up cause we had each other now she's gone I feel so so lost 
7 Replies 7

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi Shdowz,
Welcome to the Beyond Blue Forums, we’re so glad you have chosen to reach out today and acknowledge your strength in doing so. We are sorry to hear that things have been so overwhelming and have sent you a private message with some additional support. 
We hope that you check back in with our community whenever you feel comfortable and we look forward to hearing from you

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Shdowz I feel the pain you are in.When any relationship breaks it really is a struggle.It is sad thst you dont have the support of your family when you need them the most.I am glad you have one friend who calls you and check on you.What a caring friend you have.I wondering if you are seeing your kids regularly and if you got any parenting orders in place?With the break up your kids will need their father more then ever in their lives and you need them to.

Take care,

Mark.

Shdowz
Community Member
Hi mark

I've looked in to the parenting orders and started the mediation process I've only see the kids twice a week and every second weekend

My heart hurts so bad I thought I was gonna be with her forever all I see is darkness ahead

Shdowz
Community Member
Hi how do I access the private msges

Hi shdowz, a private message was sent to the same email address you've used to create your Beyond Blue account. 

Kind regards,
Sophie.

Betternow
Community Member

I feel your pain Shdowz.

Many years ago my wife shot through on News Years Eve, taking the kids. I remember the following weeks were a blur of shock, pain, anger, despair and sadness and then you cycle through those 5 emotions repeatedly. It’s magnified when your ex immediately finds a new partner.

This is what I learnt. Be the best man you can be for the sake of your children. Look after yourself. Eat healthy, stay off the booze and exercise till you are exhausted (helps you sleep). When you pick up the kids always wear a clean shirt, use aftershave lotion and stay strong. Never bad mouth your ex wife to anybody, especially the children. Make your time with the children happy. No questions about your wife or her new life during the children’s visits. Many years into the future, your children will reward you because of your strength.

Don’t allow yourself to be rushed into making big decisions during this very emotional period. You’ll need to see a family law solicitor at some point to help you through the muddle but there’s no rush.

I promise you there is more to your life than the darkness you see now. My own situation 37 years ago was similar to you now. Now in 2020, I am happy, with grandchildren and I have lovely adult daughters who I feared I had lost forever. Try not allow yourself to get sucked into the vortex of negativity like I did, it slowed my life progress for years. Don’t make my mistake.

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Shdowz,I am glad you have started the mediation process and i hope you both can come to a mutal agreement with the kids.I have done it myself and know how stressful it can be.I know how much pain you are in i have experienced it myself.It is not easy losing the person you love.Have you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling and seeking some professional advice.I am sure BB moderator has sent you good advice.

Take care,

Mark.