Overwhelmed in life

[Matof4]

I love my wife we are coming up to ten years together but the last year I feel like I'm just in the way of my family we are always busy having 4 kids I feel all of my concerns of such a big family is what actually happens . And for me to even mention it I'm a kids hater . I work hard we don't have a lot of money but we are paying off a house which is something I'm proud of . My wife suffers from anxiety which I feel like Iv learned a lot and still learning the best way to support her . My wife doesn't get along with my family after they spoke to her rudely Iv chosen not to speak to them she has never been close to her Mum so we don't really have family to lean on .my wife takes on so much can't say no to work kids or friends and I struggle with her taking so much on she works from home which is an amazing help but she will then do that to the extreme of being busy it's like she can't say no to work which burns her out I try to do house work and get kids to bed and for anyone that's knows how long it takes to get for. Kids fed washed and actually asleep in bed then the days over . This is more of a vent sorry Iv never posted on these before I could go on for hours. Also she has brought up my weight abit lately which I can understand Iv been big since high school i just can't even get my head in the right frame of mind to work on it I'm not a smoker or drinker during the week just enjoy food more than I should Iv lost weight before but I feel I get anxiety kinda from my wife's anxiety is that ridiculous ? Thanks for reading my vent .

[Croix]

Dear Matof4~
Thanks for posting – it’s not a vent, it’s a legitimate asking for advice in a tough situation.

It's a pretty good step though, because here you’re going to find a whole lot of people that have been down similar pathways and want to give those that follow a hand.

Just so you know who you’re talking to at the moment, I'm an ex-policeman who was invalided out of the force with PTSD and related problems including depression and anxiety. I got though. I had help.

You have a lot on your plate and don’t have support from your parents. With 4 kids, work, a wife who has anxiety and the rest, things are really squeezing you.

There’s a sign on the overhead lockers in passenger aircraft, it says:

Put oxygen mask on self before others

It’s pointing out that you have to be fit to do anything, including helping or looking after anyone else. And you have heaps to do.

With you, the first thing is with that much pressure mental illness can sneak up on you as some form of depression or anxiety – enough to make you think everything is hopeless and a trap.

I’d go visit my GP and set out the details, be tested and then if you are diagnosed go on to treatment. Feeling you are in the way could well be depression talking - not you. These illnesses distort your thinking and induce feelings of worthlessness.

If you worry about saying it all easily to the GP then write it down beforehand and take it with you.

In relation to your wife: Ok, from my own experience chronic anxiety does not go away by itself. It needs medical treatment, therapy, and of course family support. Without treatment it gets worse – believe me I know. Being unable to say ‘no’ to other people can well be part of the illness, it tended to be for me

If you feel overwhelmed have a talk to us on our help line 1300 22 4636 where there are friendly non-judgmental knowledgeable professionals to assist. It’s not just about suicide as a lot of people think, you are very welcome to call.

We have a fair amount of information available via The Facts drop down menu (towards the top of the page) on Anxiety & Depression: causes, symptoms, treatments. You might care to read it.

Please do keep posting and tell more about yourself. You will be assured of a warm reception

My best wishes

Croix

[Matof4]

Thx for u reply I feel like my problems are so insignificant after reading some post it feels good to even just be able to get it off my chest I will contact a gp and hopefully I can find something to help that will work with me working

[Croix]

Dear Mat0f4~

First off thank you for the thanks - makes me feel appreciated, says something about you too.

As far as your problems being insignificant - rubbish. You have a heavy load, and if talking here helps then you just talk away. You are as entitled as anyone.

I'm very glad you are going to your GP, if you get a medical plan entitling you to sessions with a health professional so much the better. It should go fine with your working, not normally a hassle.

In time, if things go right, you will be an awful lot better and more able to steer your wife towards effective treatment too.

Let us know how you go

My best wishes

Croix

[Matof4]

I actually will let u know I'm booked in tomorrow night thx for your time again