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Not sure what to do

Community Member
This is my first time reaching out like this. Not sure what to do, long story short my wife has family in NSW we lived in WA. She wanted to be closer to her family we went to visit over christmas and in that time she accepted a transfer and stayed there with my 2 kids 2 year old and a nearly 1 year old. We had planned to move together but instead she decided to move straight away. A week after i got to perth I recieved a really long text message saying that she has decided that she no longer wants to be with me anymore and its not worth doing long distance. I have tried to work this out. Now because of this i very intermitantely get to speak to my kids. She rings me every night just to keep the peace. It seems like she had planned this and not told me. If i want to see my kids i have to move over east to try and reconcile things, its crushing me as we were happy while on holiday. When i call her she is always "busy" and i just recieve one word answers to everything. I cant move until april but im at a loss what to do. I love her but it seems like she doesnt love me anymore.
4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi I am so sorry for what happened to you,i really feel for you.It does sound like she had it planned and am not sure how your marriage was before she left if you were having any problems.I know you still love her and want to be with her and the kids.I dont know if you can sort things out with her.Maby get some legal advice in paticular about the kids as she moved them interstate.You have rights as the father to be able to see your kids.

Thanks for your reply,

We had an up and down relationship both in our mid 20s with 2 kids under 3 its been tough but we have always worked it out. I dont think i have a leg to stand on from what i have been told

Community Member

Hello Sufferinginsilence

I understand the shock and confusion you must be feeling right now. It’s not easy to process. It seems you have two issues to sort through. The first is your marriage and secondly access to your children. From what you write, it appears your wife has decided the marriage is over. If that is the case, there is very little you can do about it. You can’t make a person love you and want to be with you. I know this a terrible kick in the guts, but all you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can be. If your wife one day changes her mind, well that’s a question for another time.

My advice is stay calm, friendly and polite with your wife. Ensure you eat well, exercise and lay off the grog. She is the mother of your children and her attitude is crucial when it comes to working out the children’s futures.

Of course, you do have legal rights and you should seek professional advice as to what those rights are. Bear in mind, the law can’t please everybody and you may have to have a flexible attitude, that may hurt you emotionally in the short term. Perth is a long way from Sydney and if you stay living in WA, obviously regular access is impossible.

Many men (and some women) reading your post will understand the pain involved in having the double whammy of losing your spouse and your children so suddenly. You will survive this and eventually work out a plan with your wife to sort out the future.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Dont let her or her family tell you that you don't have a leg to stand on.

You can't just move the kids interstate because you feel like it.

File a relocation order through a solicitor and have them returned.

Too many fathers just allow mothers to dictate the terms, it doesnt work like that...you have a right to be apart of there lives