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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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karim97 My weird relationship problem.
  • replies: 1

Hello all, I was hoping to get some advice with something I've been struggling with for some time. It's gonna be hard for me to take about, but I really don't know what to do, so I hope someone helps me with this. So basically, I've been in a relatio... View more

Hello all, I was hoping to get some advice with something I've been struggling with for some time. It's gonna be hard for me to take about, but I really don't know what to do, so I hope someone helps me with this. So basically, I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 months now. Shes way out of my league; she is- accomplished, intelligent, funny, radiant and not to mention downright gorgeous. I'm literally the opposite of her in terms of attributes, yes, I mean that I am fugly and dumb. That gets me questioning why she even likes me. I feel like if she were to ever cheat on me or do anything bad to me, I probably wouldn't even care because I feel like such a 'peasant' for my feelings to even matter. The issue is it doesn't sit well for me and I am having second thoughts of continuing this relationship. Is it chauvinistic for me to say that I want a girl on the same or lower level as me? (attribute-wise, socioeconomic background...etc.) Am I bad person for saying that? Why do I even feel this way? I hope I haven't said anything offensive or wrong in anyway, I kind of struggle to tell. I'm interested to see if anyone has had any experiences like this or can help me. Thanks guys! Regards, K97

Abbie121 Don't know what to do to accept and get past break-up from a while ago..
  • replies: 11

I've been separated for at least 6 months now but find myself still holding out hope that we will get back together again or even be in just some form of contact. I don't know why, as there were clear reasons at the time for why we broke up. I find m... View more

I've been separated for at least 6 months now but find myself still holding out hope that we will get back together again or even be in just some form of contact. I don't know why, as there were clear reasons at the time for why we broke up. I find myself still missing him and pining over the good times and yearning for those again. I can't seem to move forward and stop thinking about it. He doesn't want any contact at all and has clearly moved on. My head is aware of the reasons we parted but my heart can't seem to accept it. I fear I've lost the one person I was meant to be with. Would never want to be with anyone else. So upset and frustrated that I can't have any communication with him at all. Don't know what to do to accept and get past this..

Liz891 How to help with no energy to help anymore
  • replies: 2

Hi all How to help my partner with his depression if I feel like I don't love him anymore, I don't have energy to pick him up all the time Whatever happens somehow he will be unhappy I really don't know what to do, I'm giving up and that's going to m... View more

Hi all How to help my partner with his depression if I feel like I don't love him anymore, I don't have energy to pick him up all the time Whatever happens somehow he will be unhappy I really don't know what to do, I'm giving up and that's going to make things worst

Guest9870 Im too worried to break up with my boyfriend whom has schizophrenia
  • replies: 7

I have been with my boyfriend since 2017, its a long distance relationship and i havent seen him in person since 2017. He lives a 4 hour flight away. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia the year he turned 18, he is now 20 and i am 19. He is my bestfr... View more

I have been with my boyfriend since 2017, its a long distance relationship and i havent seen him in person since 2017. He lives a 4 hour flight away. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia the year he turned 18, he is now 20 and i am 19. He is my bestfriend and we laugh together a lot and enjoy eachothers company, but its getting old i cant keep a 'relationship' purely over text especially since its been 2 years , he barely ever wants to call and he cant give a proper reason, i tell him if its due to his condition then to just say so but he just changes the subject, it was even like this since before he was diagnosed. I have my own place and am stable and throughout our whole relationship i beg him to come here beg and beg, i know all about his diagnosis he shares everything with me ive reassured him hundreds of times that ill never judge him and will do anything for him to make him comfortable, i even said we dont have to move in with eachother but can we at least spend a week or two together, id be happy with spending even a few days tgthr i'd travel to him or he is welcome to travel to me. whenever i bring this up he just replies with something along the lines of ' i know i wanna be with you too' and then tries to change the subject, and we move on until i bring it up again a week or two later, sometimes i say more i say can you give me an answer roughly when do you see us together or when can we call more and i tell him how much its hurting me and how worthless i feel to him about the situation, then what happens if i bring that stuff up is that he will become stressed, which causes him to get unwell that moment and i end up putting my feelings aside to comfort him and its a repeating cycle. Ive lost hope that we wll ever be together, he lives on his own his dad is not in the picture and his mum doesnt speak to him and he isnt close to anyone in his family to talk about his issues to apart from the psychiatrist he sees either fortnightly or monthly. he says if he didnt have me he'd have nothing, and i feel like thats true, he has no friends either not even online friends. im so scared that if i was to end things with him that something would happen to him to the point where i just consider staying with him as long as i have to just to make sure hes okay and not alone , i feel like i cant go on i need to move on and better myself as im struggling , how do i do this ill take anyones advice or tips and if anyone has any further questions i will answer

Farm_boy be grateful for some advice
  • replies: 2

This is my first post on the BB site. Just wanting to get some advice on how to help someone deal with relationship issues. Two dear friends of mine are having relationship issues at present. They have two children, under 9, one with ADHD issues. Ear... View more

This is my first post on the BB site. Just wanting to get some advice on how to help someone deal with relationship issues. Two dear friends of mine are having relationship issues at present. They have two children, under 9, one with ADHD issues. Earlier this week, they had a big argument and as a result, husband decided to leave to get some time away. They are both have past issues relating to their own childhood and given that, stresses of life and jobs/homelife its reached a breaking point. They do love each other and their kids. The separation is proving very hard on the two children and i suspect on both parents. At this stage, there has been no indication of when he will come back home. I am close to both of them and sort of in the middle between the two to try and help mend the situation. Its a difficult situation for me and I'm feeling the stress of the situation with being in the middle. I want to try and help them sort out how to fix the problem, for the children and the family unit. I'd just like anyone's thoughts on what i have done so far and if you can suggest anything different to help the situation. Husband is putting up walls and is not showing signs of wanting to talk. I know he needs some space to think, etc. I suggested to spouse to make the first phone call, as opposed to sms, to firstly acknowledge she understands that he is hurting, that she and the children both love him and want him to come home to at least talk it through and work on the situation. I'm in contact with him and letting him know that I am there for him 100%, free to talk over a beer, etc and just to make sure he is OK. I've suggested 'carefully' to both of them that they should seek professional support and even go to the GP first. Being in the middle is difficult and sometimes, and I don't want this to sound bad, but you'd like to get them, shake the and tell them to 'sort it out'. But that, if feel, would be detrimental. My main concern is for the two children who are seeing their mum cry, can't understand why dad is away and are feeling the stress of the situation. I'd be grateful for any thoughts or advice or any different suggestions you may have to help with this situation. I do love them both dearly and don't want to see the breakup of the family. Thanks FarmBoy

loislane After advice please
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,i have anxiety & depression which was diagnosed 9 years ago.1 year ago my now 21 year old son was diadnosed with anxiety.He has been on about 6 different medicines and the doctor got him 12 sessions to see a phycologist which didnt seem t... View more

Hi everyone,i have anxiety & depression which was diagnosed 9 years ago.1 year ago my now 21 year old son was diadnosed with anxiety.He has been on about 6 different medicines and the doctor got him 12 sessions to see a phycologist which didnt seem to help him at all.We have no idea if he even talked to the phycologist because of his age we have no rights to know what was said.He has no job and we get no help from centrelink for him financially or he gets no help to get assistance to get a job because of his anxiety because he gets no centrelink.Ive asked doctor after doctor for help with him & no one helps.Its putting strain on my own anxiety and depression,it's causing problems with our other children because he sits in his room all day every day,he's angry all the time & lashes out,he refuses to do chores or talk to us.He will go out occasionally with his friends & drinks to the point he cant remember stuff.I feel like imsinking into the deep dark depression pit if we don't get help for him soon.I just want my son back not this angry she'll of a person

Steves_87 Re taking a break
  • replies: 1

So on Sunday my girlfriend and I kind of broke up. She’s going through a mediation process with her two daughters as the father has been an on again off again thing with his daughters he says he wants to be there in their lives but then won’t coopera... View more

So on Sunday my girlfriend and I kind of broke up. She’s going through a mediation process with her two daughters as the father has been an on again off again thing with his daughters he says he wants to be there in their lives but then won’t cooperate with and work with my girlfriend. He has caused a lot of issues with his new girlfriend basically the last five weeks haven’t been the best with my gf and I it’s been up and down as she’s struggling mentally dealing with the girls day in day out working and all this mediation process she asked for space 5 weeks ago to deal with things so I respected that. But because of her mental state we have had periods where we both have a miscommunication and silence between one another. We don’t live together it’s a long distance relationship. I myself this year have gone through a marriage breakdown and meeting my new girl was a breath of fresh air. Things have gone absolutely amazing between us we were finally both moving forward with our lives and finally finding happiness. I mean this girl is like no one I’ve met before we can talk for hours and we don’t run out of things to say we are so comfortable with one another I’ve taken on a step dad kind of role with her daughters which I’ve absolutely enjoyed and we’ve just grown in our relationship but Sunday just gone she decided that with everything going on it’s just too hard to continue to be with me right now when she can’t make me a focus. She did say we would try again once things settled down but that still doesn’t make me feel any better. Last night I was feeling very off to the point of ending things very anxious I just want things to be right between us. I guess we are still friends for now we havent spoken since Sunday I kind of went off at her didn’t say hurtful things or that I over reacted I needed to place my self in her shoes and what she’s going through she’s trying to do the best by her girls and make sure they are safe I get that it’s just a hard pill to swallow right now when all I want to do is be with her and tell her how much I love her and she wants the girls mean to me. Because of what I’ve been through this year this happening has triggered all sorts of things in my head like I’m back to square one like I’m not mean to be happy I feel like I’m being punished constantly. Should I continue to support her she give her some space I don’t know what to do I need advice please.

yellowpostit Jealous of everything
  • replies: 6

Hi I lost my dad very suddenly last year when I was six weeks pregnant. I had to fly overseas for his funeral and I handled the situation really well and was extremely strong throughout the whole thing supporting my sister and mother. It was one hard... View more

Hi I lost my dad very suddenly last year when I was six weeks pregnant. I had to fly overseas for his funeral and I handled the situation really well and was extremely strong throughout the whole thing supporting my sister and mother. It was one hard year and I came out well out of it and had my baby boy early this year. I experienced the normal post natal emotions but was fine. Recently though my grief has just erupted and I can't bear looking at my fathers photo without crying and I have so much self pity. I hate existing and I'm very jealous of people who resented me but have good lives. Particularly my brother in law with whom we do not have speaking terms. I'm incredibly jealous of his wife who is also expecting, has both her parents and how they are coming to visit her for a year. I constantly check their FB profiles to look for updates and I even have panic attacks when they change their photo which makes me think how happy they are. They do not talk to us due.to some.family issues. I compare the hell out of every detail on their lives to mine, I wish bad thoughts for them, I curse my dad for leaving is early. I cannot confide to my husband because I sound so stupid and our.life is perfect except.that my son does not have any grandfathers. Why am I obsessed? I just want to get out of it but I feel like I'm in a trap.

Livvyloo Dealing with a narcissistic ex boyfriend/ father of my son
  • replies: 3

I need some advise on how to deal with a narcissist. He is tearing me down and I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m trying to stay civil and friendly for my sons sake but I just don’t think I can do it any more

I need some advise on how to deal with a narcissist. He is tearing me down and I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m trying to stay civil and friendly for my sons sake but I just don’t think I can do it any more

Jet81j Feeling trapped in a one way relationship
  • replies: 4

I've been in a relationship for about 5 years but it's basically come to a end now. I've put everything into this relationship and I have nothing now. She has only talked down to me for years and just has no respect for me. She knows I have no where ... View more

I've been in a relationship for about 5 years but it's basically come to a end now. I've put everything into this relationship and I have nothing now. She has only talked down to me for years and just has no respect for me. She knows I have no where to go and no money because she has put me in that situation and kicked me out on the street a few times now where i have to just sleep in my car because I've got no where to go. Family are too far away. To add to things I've been working for her for the last 4 years so if I ever left I'd have no job and wasn't getting paid more than $250 a week for the last 2 years because of the business situations which I was happy with because it was for us but really it was just for her. We have a daughter together, she means everything to me and I'd do anything to keep our family together but I feel like I'm just a fool for staying. No one I've talked to say they would put up with this and I need to look after myself but every time she says come back I'm straight back. I just don't know what to do as she's just using me to follow her dreams and keep her business a float.