Re taking a break

[Steves_87]

So on Sunday my girlfriend and I kind of broke up. She’s going through a mediation process with her two daughters as the father has been an on again off again thing with his daughters he says he wants to be there in their lives but then won’t cooperate with and work with my girlfriend. He has caused a lot of issues with his new girlfriend basically the last five weeks haven’t been the best with my gf and I it’s been up and down as she’s struggling mentally dealing with the girls day in day out working and all this mediation process she asked for space 5 weeks ago to deal with things so I respected that. But because of her mental state we have had periods where we both have a miscommunication and silence between one another. We don’t live together it’s a long distance relationship. I myself this year have gone through a marriage breakdown and meeting my new girl was a breath of fresh air. Things have gone absolutely amazing between us we were finally both moving forward with our lives and finally finding happiness. I mean this girl is like no one I’ve met before we can talk for hours and we don’t run out of things to say we are so comfortable with one another I’ve taken on a step dad kind of role with her daughters which I’ve absolutely enjoyed and we’ve just grown in our relationship but Sunday just gone she decided that with everything going on it’s just too hard to continue to be with me right now when she can’t make me a focus. She did say we would try again once things settled down but that still doesn’t make me feel any better. Last night I was feeling very off to the point of ending things very anxious I just want things to be right between us. I guess we are still friends for now we havent spoken since Sunday I kind of went off at her didn’t say hurtful things or that I over reacted I needed to place my self in her shoes and what she’s going through she’s trying to do the best by her girls and make sure they are safe I get that it’s just a hard pill to swallow right now when all I want to do is be with her and tell her how much I love her and she wants the girls mean to me. Because of what I’ve been through this year this happening has triggered all sorts of things in my head like I’m back to square one like I’m not mean to be happy I feel like I’m being punished constantly. Should I continue to support her she give her some space I don’t know what to do I need advice please.

[Juliet_84]

Hi Steves_87,

It can be incredibly hurtful and confusing when we feel the person that we love pull away from us, and can bring out all sorts of insecurities and paranoia. Your girl has a very good reason at the moment, that she just doesn’t have the emotional space for anything else at the moment while she sorts out this mediation issue, but that doesn’t make things any easier. Despite how you are feeling, I think that you need to show her that you can put her needs above your desire for contact etc in this instance and respect her wishes. By all means, you can make it clear to her that you are there for her if she needs anything, but I would step back and show her this side of you. I think it can only work in your favor in the long run.