Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

ALu1993 Family Pictures
  • replies: 1

I recently viewed a photo of my mum with her new partner and his parents and while I thought it'd make me happy I felt quite sad about it. When I saw it I thought about our family photos and when the last one was taken with us all together before the... View more

I recently viewed a photo of my mum with her new partner and his parents and while I thought it'd make me happy I felt quite sad about it. When I saw it I thought about our family photos and when the last one was taken with us all together before the family broke down and how at the time we had no idea it'd be the last. I began feeling really sad at the idea that now each member of the family is becoming more and more disconnected with each other. It's no longer photos of us it's photos of my mother with them, my brothers with them my father seemingly pictured no where. Like a branches broken from a tree that have been split and now growing out from another. Probably not the best analogy.. every time I look at a picture of them I wonder if they're thinking the same thing, or feel the way I do. Feeling like we are all trying to continue our lives with another family like an outsider waiting to be let in, when we could all just turn around and look at each other and feel like we belong, together. Will I forever feel this way, knowing that at one point I had a family before. I miss them all, I wonder if they feel this way too. I wonder if we are all hurting the same way, like an outsider, feeling alone. I wonder if my brothers feel like this, I wonder if my mother feels like this I wonder if my father feels like this and if so I wonder why we feel like being apart is better than being together. Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

David_A Running a business after a break-up, the loneliest place to be.
  • replies: 4

Hey All, I guess I'll start with what should be a positive thing in life, I run and own a successful company based in Melbourne. The whole time I've been with a partner and never really noticed how much my world would collapse without her in my life.... View more

Hey All, I guess I'll start with what should be a positive thing in life, I run and own a successful company based in Melbourne. The whole time I've been with a partner and never really noticed how much my world would collapse without her in my life. After parting ways a while ago it's been a really lonely ride, I left behind a lot in life to start the company, and never thought I'd miss social interaction with peers as much as I do now. Having no-one to talk too on a daily basis with heartache and pressure combined is a real struggle. I manage to pump myself up enough to get by in meetings, but fall flat soon after. To get to where I am now, I gave up a relatively good day job a professional sporting career and with someone by my side everything seemed to be okay. Suddenly it's all come crashing down and everyday is an absolute struggle, I sleep around 4 hours a night, cannot get to sleep before 3am and really find it hard to get through every day. I ended the relationship and completely understand she wasn't right for me in the end but I can't shake this funk I'm in. Between the pressure of supporting myself and staff and realising I'm completely alone is absolutely the most painful thing I've ever been through. Eating is a struggle, sleeping is difficult and I'm finding it increasingly hard to get through daily life. I don't want a substitute for a partner, but someone to talk too who's struggling, who understands or just someone in life who can be a good support through this time. During my busy period the last 2 years I've lost touch with old friends, I don't have family support and I'm not sure what else to say. Just writing this is a much needed distraction and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this, reply and thank you in advance.

Beck07 Help! Cheated on by my husband
  • replies: 7

I found out my husband of 3.5 years (been together for 10 years prior and have 3 children together) cheated on me a year and a half later after it had happened. I received a msg from the girl my husband had cheated on me with 4 days after giving birt... View more

I found out my husband of 3.5 years (been together for 10 years prior and have 3 children together) cheated on me a year and a half later after it had happened. I received a msg from the girl my husband had cheated on me with 4 days after giving birth to my daughter. I was devastated! Trying to deal with the birth of my daughter plus hearing about my husbands unfaithful ways. He said he did it because he was hanging around his mates who have been unfaithful with there partners and it starting rubbing off on him. It’s totally out of character for him to do this to me. The relations with the other girl was not an emotional relationship it was more of a physical relationship. He had no feelings for her. I asked him why he didn’t tell me about it when it had happened in which he replied he was scared to tell me as he feared I would leave. I feel his genuinely remorseful, genuinely sorry and genuinely hurt that he has hurt me so badly. He doesn’t want our marriage to end and me to take our kids an leave. But at the same time I just can’t get passed the fact that he has cheated on me and has broken everything we have built including my heart. Looking for any advice as I’m torn. I don’t know what to do?!?

Ajlm Nothing is working to feel better.
  • replies: 3

I'm in my mid 30s and had 6 year relationship my wife. We have two young daughters together and another two daughters she had previously that i had a great connection with. 3 months ago She broke up with me with a text msg and told me I dont make her... View more

I'm in my mid 30s and had 6 year relationship my wife. We have two young daughters together and another two daughters she had previously that i had a great connection with. 3 months ago She broke up with me with a text msg and told me I dont make her happy anymore and we are better as friends and then told me no more the 2 weeks later that she is seeing another man, she would not tell me his name and then let him stay in the home I helped create and meet my daughters. these things have absolutely gutted me! I feel so empty and lost and really am finding it hard to get anything done. I have a secure place to stay which is amazing but i have an urge to go home but nowhere feels like it, Even the one I helped create anymore. I had to quit my job that I used to enjoy because I was so unstable emotionally, i felt like bursting out in tears sometimes there and was so irritated with everyone, it was driving me crazy. Anybody who talks to me irritates me now and I've always been a really chilled out and calm human. I went thru all the motions and joined the gym and started that, got vitamins but it does not help and just going there is getting harder to talk myself into still doing. Recently my wife has been trying to get back with me and regrets it all that she done but I could never truly be happy with her anymore after she was with another man and treated me terribly, like a stranger the past few months. Her wanting me back somehow has made me feel even worse and I dont know why. I spend any spare time on my mobile now just to keep somewhat focussed because I feel so scattered. I have my daughters a couple times a week and love them dearly and put on a good act of happiness for them but The whole time they are with me I cannot wait until just go to sleep so I can be alone again, that's horrible, these are the girls that filled my soul with so much joy and happiness by now I'm finding it hard to have them for a night or two.

ashe01 I dont know what is the right thing to do
  • replies: 6

my wife of 16 years and myself have reached a crossroad. we've become more of a pair of flatmates. barely talking, and when we do it becomes overly emotional and usually end in a fight of words and blaming. I'm seeing a psychologist. for depression b... View more

my wife of 16 years and myself have reached a crossroad. we've become more of a pair of flatmates. barely talking, and when we do it becomes overly emotional and usually end in a fight of words and blaming. I'm seeing a psychologist. for depression but recently the idea of me moving out was brought up by her. this idea caused me to have a breakdown and ended up crying uncontrollable on the floor last night. i dont want either of us to wake up one day 10 years down the track, and realize that we hate each other I also dont want to leave and end up either of us blaming the other for the collapse of the our marriage we've got two children together a teenage girl and a pre-teen son who is on the austim spectrum. i dont like the idea of leaving leave without me around as much as i am but I dont also dont like the idea of them having to grow up in a "hostile" household. please help

SquidJoy26 To stay or leave?
  • replies: 1

I have been with my boyfriend for 13 years and I have just turned 30. We were very similar when we first met and I was rather passive with some self-esteem issues. These things have improved drastically over the years and I have finally found my plac... View more

I have been with my boyfriend for 13 years and I have just turned 30. We were very similar when we first met and I was rather passive with some self-esteem issues. These things have improved drastically over the years and I have finally found my place. Last year I had a small health scare and there was a chance that I would not be able to have kids, turns out I am fine! But, this made me start to think about if I would want to have kids with him or not and for the last 10 months, I am constantly day-dreaming of a life without him (every day). Now every little thing he says and does annoys me sooooo much. The way he talks and dresses annoys me, he has no desire to improve the house and it annoys me, the things he owns being in my space annoys me. It's like I have suddenly lost all patience and will to compromise in our relationship. I feel like I just want to be on my own, with my own things, and in my own space. I'm not sure if this is normal or if I might be experiencing depression.

kikik Two months post break up and lost
  • replies: 3

Hi, Two months ago I was in a relationship I never thought would end. I was ready to marry him and spend the rest of my life with my best friend. He left because he claims he fell out of love. I want to hate him for it so badly, but I can’t. I have f... View more

Hi, Two months ago I was in a relationship I never thought would end. I was ready to marry him and spend the rest of my life with my best friend. He left because he claims he fell out of love. I want to hate him for it so badly, but I can’t. I have friends and family who support me and I’m so grateful for that, but it’s this constant ache that’s there. He’s gone and he promised he would never leave. Some days I feel so strong and grateful for how much I’m learning about myself through this whole process but other days feel like nothing will ever feel good again. The person you wanted to share your life with is gone and not coming back. How do you lose a best friend and boyfriend in seconds. I’ve been in love before but not like this. This person made everything feel so easy and simple and as cliche as it sounds, it feels like he took part of me with him. Ive tried everything I can to stay positive and keep pushing past the worst of it but the longer it’s been the worse I’m starting to feel. I never thought I would have to feel like this. Not because of him

Nomoreblue Where to begin!
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone. I relinquished a child over 20 years ago. I was 22 at the time and not much support around me. Her birth father never knew. Therefore I made the decision to relinquish her so she could have the best life that I could not give her. At the... View more

Hi everyone. I relinquished a child over 20 years ago. I was 22 at the time and not much support around me. Her birth father never knew. Therefore I made the decision to relinquish her so she could have the best life that I could not give her. At the start I had a little contact, but as my life moved I felt it best to let her live hers. Not a single day has gone by where I don’t think of her. My life moved on, and I really didn’t talk about my past, basically suppressed it. Travel, work, house, marriage and two beautiful children and unfortunately a divorce followed. So in dealing with all that I was getting my life back on track and my first born walked back into my life. It has been an emotional roller coaster ride ever since. She pressed to contact her birth father and they have since developed a wonderful relationship, which I am extremely happy about. However I put the wall up and walked away, as our relationship was still being established all I could see was how wonderful theirs was. I feel anger, guilt, hate, envy, and have such deep seeded issues I can’t seem to find the happiness in any of this or within myself. She has since contacted me and she’s frustrated and hurt which I totally understand, I just feel overwhelmed and want to run again. I have struggled to find proper counselling to address all of this complex mess. So here I am as a starting point.... hoping to find any help I can. Thanks in advance

Warhorselilly Husband cheated on me with another man what now?
  • replies: 3

I have been with my husband for 16 years. Married for nearly 12. He cheated on me with a woman many years ago when I was suffering from ptsd and depression. I had to forgive him then. Since then I have struggled with confidence. He is quick to blame ... View more

I have been with my husband for 16 years. Married for nearly 12. He cheated on me with a woman many years ago when I was suffering from ptsd and depression. I had to forgive him then. Since then I have struggled with confidence. He is quick to blame me for my lack of sex drive. There are so many factors. I have one child with him, now nearly 3 yo, and I have struggled with my sexual confidence and weight since his birth. This is my husband’s reason for being unfaithful. He went online and met up with at least three men and had sex with them. He told me it was because he needed excitement and I wasn’t interested. I don’t know what to do. I feel it is completely my fault that he was driven to such desperation.

Mel-ancholy I deserved to be cheated on because I had depression
  • replies: 2

I wish I could go back in time to my younger self and punch myself. To not stay in a relationship for 7 years with a serial cheater. I hate this guy now, because even though I am with a great guy now (together for 5.5 years, married with a kid) I sti... View more

I wish I could go back in time to my younger self and punch myself. To not stay in a relationship for 7 years with a serial cheater. I hate this guy now, because even though I am with a great guy now (together for 5.5 years, married with a kid) I still have moments when I look too much into stuff. He used to blame his behavior on the fact I suffer with depression! WTF! He made it worse!. I am also pregnant, so I know that I plays a part, but I wish I could tell my ex what a number he did on me. I have no feelings for the guy, other than negative ones haha, and have no contact since we broke up over 6 years ago. But why do I find myself thinking that my husband will do it too? That he somehow will find a way to ruin our relationship, and I will end up looking stupid again, with a toddler and a newborn.