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Feeling trapped in a one way relationship

Community Member
I've been in a relationship for about 5 years but it's basically come to a end now. I've put everything into this relationship and I have nothing now. She has only talked down to me for years and just has no respect for me.
She knows I have no where to go and no money because she has put me in that situation and kicked me out on the street a few times now where i have to just sleep in my car because I've got no where to go. Family are too far away. To add to things I've been working for her for the last 4 years so if I ever left I'd have no job and wasn't getting paid more than $250 a week for the last 2 years because of the business situations which I was happy with because it was for us but really it was just for her.
We have a daughter together, she means everything to me and I'd do anything to keep our family together but I feel like I'm just a fool for staying. No one I've talked to say they would put up with this and I need to look after myself but every time she says come back I'm straight back. I just don't know what to do as she's just using me to follow her dreams and keep her business a float.

4 Replies 4

Community Member

I am sorry your relationship has come to an end. I know it must be a really difficult time for you right now emotionally as well as financially.

I suggest googling legal aid and phoning them and fully explain your situation to them. If you were being paid on the books, even if someone agrees to work for less pay, I believe it is still illegal and she will require to back pay you if indeed that is the case. Also, you are entitled to a percentage of the household goods and home if it is not a rental. You will also want to find out what you can about joint custody of your daughter.

I am sure there is someone more knowledgable then I am on this forum that will message you but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'm sorry you haven't recieved the respect you deserve within your relationship but you will find that you do have a caring community that respects you here on the BB forum. Whilst you may feel lonely know that you are not alone we are here.

Community Member
Thank you for your message it helps. I think the money isn't a big thing for me but it's put me in the situation of completely relying on her and she knows that and is still using that as power and always has. She's always said if I don't like it get out. Do partners say things like that? It seems just crazy to me but I don't know if that's normal.
The hardest thing is she has made me feel like I don't deserve any better and everything is my fault that she treats me like this and that makes it so hard for me to move on.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Jet81j,

Desedrata has given you some really good advice.

There's a power imbalance by the sounds of things and your partner is really taking advantage of you. She knows you will come back which is why she's not changing herself.

Centrelink will pay you more than $250 week. She's not paying you what you are worth or deserve.

Self worth- she is diminishing yours.

If you don't like it get out- that's been said to me bcas that other person knew they had that power over me. It's not something someone who truelly loves you at the time would say in my opinion.

Talking down to you and disrespecting you- not on in a loving relationship.

You shouldn't have to put up with this treatment.

Lean on friends and family around you.

If u need to chat more we're always here.



Community Member
It's not normal for partners to say things like that in a healthy relationship. I think it would be a good idea if you call 1800respect and have a chat to them to get some perspective of where you trully stand in the relationship emotionally. It will help you make clearer decisions on what you want/need going forward in your life.