My wife is a perfectionist and is never happy with me

[Guest_039]

I dont know what to do. My wife and I have been together for 11 years and have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. My wife picks on me about everything almost every single day. She is always unhappy, very short tempered. She always finds a reason to argue. All I want to do is enjoy life work together and have a happy family. I don't want my kids to grow up around her screaming at me. She says I dismiss her for everything and I never listen to her. I know I am not the best listener but I always try my best. I feel like she isn't happy with herself and that she takes it out on me and the kids. She says I dont show her I care about her which I do. She is always bringing up arguments from the past like from 5+ years ago over small things.. She doesnt like to move on from an argument she wants to deal with the argument before moving on or she holds a grudge for good. How can I fix my listening skills? The list goes on... Any advice appreciated.

[Guest_039]

Thanks for everyone's replies. Yes my wife has been told by her doctor that they think she has post natal depression and we have gone to see a psychologist only once. At first the psychologist told her she was in denial about having any problems. My wife didn't return to do any further sessions as I was unable to be in the room. She also thinks how can someone help us if I am the problem? She thinks the only person that can fix this is me. I believe I chip in alot around the house considering my work gives me 4 days on 4 days off.. She has some help by family not hers though as they live interstate. She has only just gone back to work part time from her maternity. I am always showing her affection but as everyone knows having couple young ones reduces that part quiet alot haha. We have only gone out twice in 3 years on our own and I have asked so many times but she just wont. My wife doesn't have any hobbies apart from cooking. She has gained quiet a bit of weight and I believe when somebody gains weight everything changes about them. Thanks for everyones response again. I will take notes and try ask those questions. Personally I dont like to publicly post so I probably wont go into any further detail.

[Guest_039]

Honestly life is too short to be at each others throats. You need a holiday or something. Kids are hard work and life has changed so much. I think that both sides need to compromise and ease up on each other. Show your children how to love and care. Your kids will be effected by this for life which isn't their fault. Whatever you do you cant stay in a relationship just for kids coz one day they will get old and it will be you two left. Make it work if you. Goodluck for you also