My wife has left me

[Casso26]

Hey all not sure how to start this. But here we go.

My wife of 6 years ( together for 8 ) told me 2 weeks ago that she is not happy in the marriage any more and needs time to think. Over the past 2 weeks while apart she has been texting me telling me how much she loves me and misses me but she just needs time. So I have been away from the house to give her space.

Today she text me saying she is going to her mum's to stay as its to hard to be in the house with all the memories.
2 hours later she calls me to say we need to chat as she wants a divorce now.

This is the 3rd time this has happened in 12 months.

I'm so lost on where to go from here and how to even continue on. We have been together since we were 19 and married at 21. All i have know is how to love and care for her. I just dont know how to move forward. Family are a great support but i cant even wrap my head around my next steps in life if i can even make them.

Casso

[Summer Rose]

Hi Casso

Welcome to the bb forum and thank you for sharing your story.

I'm so sorry to hear that your wife now wants a divorce. I can feel the pain in your words and imagine that you are currently in a pretty dark place.

I'd like to suggest that you take one day at a time. Try to just deal in the now and do what you have to do each day to function. I also think that it's really important that you take good care of yourself.

It might be a good idea to pop in and see your GP and talk through how you are feeling and any health issues you may be experiencing (e.g. loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, ect). If your GP thinks you need more professional support he/she can help you to get it.

Has your wife explained why she is no longer happy in the marriage? You don't have to answer here (only share what you want to) but I'm just wondering if there's an opportunity to work together to improve your relationship. How would you feel about suggesting marriage counseling?

I know there is nothing worse than a broken heart. But I also know that whatever happens next your heart will heal in time. Give yourself time and love.

Kind thoughts to you

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Casso26,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear that you are in so much pain at the moment and what sounds like has been a year of ups and downs with your wife. This must be a really difficult time for you. It is so great to see you reaching out here for some support. When relationships are going through difficult phases, it can be really tough both emotionally and phsyically. I agree with Summer Rose and advise to try to take things one step, one moment, one day at a time. Processing potential big changes and looking forward can be extremely overwhelming and sometimes it is really important to go back to the basics of making sure you are taking time to eat some healthy foods, make sure you get some light exercise, talk with friends and family regularly and find moments of rest and comfort in whatever form works for you.

You have stated that you are able to use 'family as a great support'. This is wonderful and using your close trusted support network is so important at this time. You may feel like you are going around in circles processing what is going on, but this is what each one of us do when we are potentially experiencing loss. Be kind to yourself during this really tough time and please reach out on the forum for support when ever you need to. We are listening.

As Summer Rain has mentioned, if you feel that you can't find rest in your thoughts or are completely overwhelmed, visiting your GP can be really helpful. There are other telephone supports available such as the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636 as sometimes talking out loud can be really clarifying in a hard moment.

I hope to hear how you are travelling.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn

[B_bear]

Casso

Been there early this year. It’s a hard process. Very hard. But all I have to offer is if you guys do down that path time can heal you. It’s been ten months for me and although I would not say I’m over it yet I’ve gone from a broken man to fairly content and growing daily. Just do your best not to act on impulse or when your head is not in a clear space. Grovelling, actions or words out of frustration or anger will not help. Let time heal and look after yourself. Build yourself up and acknowledge it will take time and will be hard but will get better. Exercise, good socials and staying busy has worked for me. Take care