Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Insignificant Caring for Father-in-law puts family under pressure
  • replies: 3

My 93-year-old father-in-law and his children were advised following a stroke back in August, that he needed to go into a nursing home. However, he wanted to go home so the kids said they would give it a go. He has since also been diagnosed with deme... View more

My 93-year-old father-in-law and his children were advised following a stroke back in August, that he needed to go into a nursing home. However, he wanted to go home so the kids said they would give it a go. He has since also been diagnosed with dementia. Although he has people coming in to heat up some meals, shower him and get him ready for bed most days, he is still heavily reliant on his children. Only one of his kids, however, lives near him. The others are a minimum of 90mins away. One is interstate. We are not the ones living close. But we are not interstate - so my husband is travelling regularly to his father and staying away. If something goes wrong overnight, we are too far away to get to him. I don't feel like I can say anything about how alone I feel without sounding selfish. We are both retired - and this is not the way I expected to spend my retirement. It is also costing us a small fortune in petrol, food - and time. I suffer from anxiety and have had to increase my medication due to the pressure of living alone far more than I thought I would without being a widow. The last time I saw my doctor my pulse was so high she immediately did an ECG to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I feel like I am constantly on the edge of a panic attack. And I am having moments of depression that I have not had for years. I feel like my life is being run by my husband's commitment to his father. We can't plan anything without a family discussion of who is available when - be we are the only ones who consult. Everyone else just tells us when they can't do it, meaning that my husband fills in. So essentially, I am stressed because of the situation and I'm stressed because I'm stressed by the situation. I don't know where to go from here.

Sazzamoon Sleep deprived and falling apart
  • replies: 1

My almost 3 year old battles going to sleep every night and then wakes between 1 and 5 am every night. Once he wakes up my sleeping is done for the night and I can’t get back to sleep. I have recently separated from my partner, am trying to study and... View more

My almost 3 year old battles going to sleep every night and then wakes between 1 and 5 am every night. Once he wakes up my sleeping is done for the night and I can’t get back to sleep. I have recently separated from my partner, am trying to study and my son is fighting every thing I try to do. Anxiety is taking over. I don’t know how I can fix this. I have tried everything to get him to sleep properly.

CoryL Ex keeps coming back after breakup
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I've been undergoing a rough breakup recently and don't really have many to talk to. I was in a relationship with this other person for 5 months before but I couldn't handle all the arguing and stresses involved so I broke up with her. The ... View more

Hi there, I've been undergoing a rough breakup recently and don't really have many to talk to. I was in a relationship with this other person for 5 months before but I couldn't handle all the arguing and stresses involved so I broke up with her. The relationship moved quickly within even the first few weeks with her saying I love you and wanting me to move in with her. After a month I basically did live with her by spending most days with each other but then after a while she said she felt stuck with me and had no freedom so I proposed to spend more time at the place I was renting to give space. She then thought after not sending many messages she wanted to send a text "forgot about me and move on" which broke my heart. Then we fought at that point to keep the relationship going which then we evened out the troubles. After that though the problems just seemed to rise to the point where it felt like walking on eggshells to bring up slight issues with the relationship. We've both done wrong with this relationship but I realized when to stop hurting each other and break things off. The problem is what do I do now? She keeps sending unpleasant messages, coming to the place I live, begging to come back. It's gotten me to the point I don't feel safe in my own living space. Please some guidance would be appreciative. Thank you

Kiyomi Disowned by my own family
  • replies: 11

Its been 8 years since my whole family disowned me (i was 16) and i still feel like i cant let go, mostly because i dont even have a reason for why they didnt love me anymore, i never did anything that would provoke it. I am now married with two beau... View more

Its been 8 years since my whole family disowned me (i was 16) and i still feel like i cant let go, mostly because i dont even have a reason for why they didnt love me anymore, i never did anything that would provoke it. I am now married with two beautiful children but i find every day so hard to cope with. im always in fear that my husband will fall out of love with me, and i struggle alot to whole heartedly love my own daughter and to top it off my 5mth old has born with a deformity and im so scared about the surgeries he will have to have, i feel so alone every time there is a major life event in my life i dont have my mum, dad grandparents etc to talk to and guide me, i have no support my friends think im "fine" even when i have a full on break down in front of them or they just dont care about me and focus on their other friend who is much more important, its driving me nuts. i constantly live in fear that i will lose everything...i guess i just want to know...am i alone?? has anyone ever been disowned by their family?? how do you cope? can you ever overcome the feelings or just manage them? its just so hard to see other people so close to their mums... or grand kids getting spoilt, i feel like my kids got ripped off.

Soberlicious96 My Partner's brother puts him down all the time
  • replies: 3

Hi all. I have an issue, which bothers me, and I don't know if it's my place to say anything or not. I have a wonderful man in my life who is selfless and caring and passionate and reliable and enthusiastic ...... I could add many more, but you get t... View more

Hi all. I have an issue, which bothers me, and I don't know if it's my place to say anything or not. I have a wonderful man in my life who is selfless and caring and passionate and reliable and enthusiastic ...... I could add many more, but you get the gist! I think he's wonderful! However, he has an older brother who speaks down to him all time. He tells him that he's useless and hopeless and that everything he does turns to crap. We are all grown adults - I am in my late 40's and my partner and his brother are both late 50's to early 60's - so it's a well practiced/learnt behavior. His parents are very elderly and in an aged care facility, and a few years ago they lost a sibling to cancer. My partner is also a cancer survivor! But he - my partner - also seems to think quite negatively about himself and other things. For example, any time something needs fixing, he starts out by thinking and saying things like "Knowing my luck, it will go really badly." or "I'll get ripped off". He also seem to have the attitude that the world is a conspiracy and 'out to get him' and is quite mistrusting. I, on the other hand, believe and have great faith in a Higher Power that I choose to call God, although I'm not religious as such, and generally have a very positive and grateful attitude. I don't go to church (but did for a little while), and he was brought up in a strict catholic environment but does not seem to believe in anything like I do. I sometimes feel that if he did have a belief and/or faith in something that it may help ..... But it just really bothers me the way his brother always puts him down. And when I think about us in the future - as in living together - I wonder/worry about how that negative thinking will affect us as a couple. I do hope that I can and indeed maybe even AM having a positive influence on him ..... but in saying that, do I pull his brother up the next time he puts him down? And if so, what do I say and how do I say it? Because a part of me wants to just yell at him and tell him to 'back the hell off'. And because I know that if you tell someone something often enough, they'll start to believe it .......... and I don't want my partner to think he is useless and hopeless, because he is far from that. Anyway, thanks for reading. I look forward to your replies. xox

youcantknow My mum is driving me mad! she can't cope with me!!
  • replies: 4

My mum is the coordinator of the wellbeing centre at my school! i don't understand how she has all the time in the world to talk to them and care about them but then when I'm having a bad day she cants cope with me! we had a fight the other day (one ... View more

My mum is the coordinator of the wellbeing centre at my school! i don't understand how she has all the time in the world to talk to them and care about them but then when I'm having a bad day she cants cope with me! we had a fight the other day (one of many lately) because i was having a bad day (couldn't get out of bed and be just soo sad u know). she starting yelling saying how she doesn't understand why I'm still like this after she has done everything to help me, take me to a specialist and pay for all these medications! she says things like this all the time when we're fighting she doesn't even realise how much it hurts me knowing that she understands that the kids she sees at school cannot be ok but whenever I'm not its the end of the world. or even when my brother comments saying means things like it's not like she eats anyway or just random things about me that obviously means nothing to them but hurts me so much!!!

JasmineC Trust issue in relationship
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been married for more than a year, but 2 years before the wedding I found out that he cheated on me with another girl when he went overseas for a holiday. So we broke up after that. Fast forward about a year later, we got back t... View more

My husband and I have been married for more than a year, but 2 years before the wedding I found out that he cheated on me with another girl when he went overseas for a holiday. So we broke up after that. Fast forward about a year later, we got back together, things were cleared up as I understood that we were not that serious in our relationship, also his mum did not approve of our relationship, plus I still loved him so I forgave him, well I thought I did. Not until recently I find myself constantly go on his facebook messenger and check his messages because that was how I found out about the previous cheating scandal. I found one of this message in his facebook messenger. He was saying "I miss you" to her out of nowhere and I don't know if I'm just over thinking but the messages sound a little bit flirty. Should I be concerned? After what happened in the past, I can honestly say that my trust issue hasn't actually been repaired yet, but I really don't know what to do now. I really love him and he has been a great husband since we got back together again. I just don't want this trust issue of mine to ruin our relationship, should I see a counsellor?

Guest_7403 Step son accusations/lying
  • replies: 13

Hi all haven't posted a thread for a long time on here, not because I haven't been struggling...more because I know my issues and what I should be doing but something happened on Sunday that has thrown me completely and myself even wife don't know wh... View more

Hi all haven't posted a thread for a long time on here, not because I haven't been struggling...more because I know my issues and what I should be doing but something happened on Sunday that has thrown me completely and myself even wife don't know what to do about it exactly. We have two 6 year olds (my daughter) and my wife's son....we also have a 6 month old together. We have split parenting so the bigger kids are only here 50/50 My wife messaged her ex Sunday because she had caught her son telling little white lies (about eating his snacks etc) and that his behaviour and mood has changed and his lack of interest in school (grade 1) to find out if his dad had noticed any changes His dad replied saying that a week ago his son told him "I sneak down to the toy room and push him to the ground constantly" he then stated that I "make him cover his eyes and walk into things as punishment". Now I and my wife know that these are complete lies, and even his dad stated he's sure that I'm just playing around with him. But the thing is when it comes to the step son I have a no touch policy, I don't play pretend fights with him, I don't touch him jokingly...I just don't find it appropriate and I do it that way to avoid things like this. I also let my wife discipline him, I don't like to discipline someone else's child unless necessary. So my point being kids can miscontrue things, but in this case he can't be confused as I don't remotely do things he's referred too. So my wife msged the ex and told him what I'm like with him. 10 minutes later the ex calls her apologising saying he's just challenged him on what he's said and he's admitted to making the whole thing up because "his brain told him too" I'm very concerned about this as I spend a bit of time alone with this child when mum's at work. At the moment we've cancelled his birthday party this week, and asked that he stays at his dad's for two weeks as a repercussion and learning experience. Too which his dad feels is appropriate. My main concern moving forward is what to do and how to act with this child now, I don't trust him and have told the wife I won't be putting myself in a position where I'm alone with him to have anymore accusations thrown at me I'm aware he is only 6 but I guess my concern is the seriousness and details of the lies that worry me about getting in trouble with dhs etc I also feel sick to my stomach that he's done this to me, as I do alot for that boy and it really is a slap in the face

MummaPetal Difficult in laws and marriage
  • replies: 7

I'm thinking of leaving my husband of 10 years because I am so tired of feeling alone in the marriage and battling my in laws. We have a child. I'm not a confrontational person and I have a MIL and SIL who often challenge me. They want their own way ... View more

I'm thinking of leaving my husband of 10 years because I am so tired of feeling alone in the marriage and battling my in laws. We have a child. I'm not a confrontational person and I have a MIL and SIL who often challenge me. They want their own way constantly and can't place themselves in anyone else's shoes. They have judged and belittled me. My husband works long hours during the day. I truly appreciate how hard he works for our family but he shuts off when he gets home. He is often on his phone but doesn't use social media. We have no intimacy in our relationship. It doesn't help that we don't get many opportunities for date nights. If we do get any time, he will be on his phone. He helps a bit around the house but I do most of the parenting. I am happy with my role as a parent but I want an equal partner. And, to be honest, I want some TLC every now and then too. My SIL said her mother was always telling them what to do and always nagging when they were younger. I can only guess it could be why my husband won't listen to me. I'm at my wits' end.

Leilani_Rose I love my children, I feel trapped sometimes in my marriage.
  • replies: 7

I am 33 years old a mother of 3 beautiful children, 11, 9 and 2 years of age. We have been married for 12 years, it's been wonderful , we have had our ups and downs we have fought hard to keep our marriage strong. I don't who to talk too because my f... View more

I am 33 years old a mother of 3 beautiful children, 11, 9 and 2 years of age. We have been married for 12 years, it's been wonderful , we have had our ups and downs we have fought hard to keep our marriage strong. I don't who to talk too because my family will say you get through this, it's part of being married, what about the kids?? 2 days ago i had a break down i was so exhausted being a full time mum is a hard job, but i love spending time with the children. As he was getting ready for work, he asked me whats wrong , I said it's nothing he just stared at me and got ready for work i felt like screaming out loud and saying i am so tired it would be nice for once you could help around the house, we have a daughter she has ADHD it's so challenging sometimes, he works night shift Monday to Saturday when he comes home he sleeps i do my daily run school drop off etc.. he comes with me to pick up kids after school, he hangs with the kids than goes sleep. Today we picked up the kids we got into an argument i started crying in front of the kids, I told him to leave me alone lately he has been saying to me i work, i pay the bills it really hurts because what am i doing at home nothing?? When I say im tired he would respond i do 12 hour shift? I always look at my kids, don't want to hurt them, I have no job to support them if i say to my husband i want to separate there are times i love my kids , my daughter who has adhd is close with him. He is a great father, wonderful but our relationship there's no communication, i dont know what to do