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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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bonboneyo Struggling to cope with finding out that my ex parterners boyfriend is living with her and my 4 year old son in our family home
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone and thanks for taking time reading this. My 10 year relationship with my partner ended 2 years ago and i was asked to leave the family home. We have a 4 year old boy together and at the time and since i have agreed to her every wish, alwa... View more

Hi Everyone and thanks for taking time reading this. My 10 year relationship with my partner ended 2 years ago and i was asked to leave the family home. We have a 4 year old boy together and at the time and since i have agreed to her every wish, always been there for her to help out and been an active dad for my son. I had been holding out, hoping to get her back but now i have found out that she has been seeing someone else. and i found out from my 4 year old who had been trying to let me know for some time. I have since had some very emotional conversations with her and she revealed that she started seeing this person from a tinder hook up soon after she told me to leave and that he has also been living with my ex and my son in our family home for almost a year. This has really broken me and my life has since been destroyed. Ive lost my job, my self worth and most days are filled with tears, feeling really lost and really low. I know i cant change what my partner does in her life but i feel i have been replaced. this guy feels like imposter as he's living in what is still part my house and hes been interacting with my son for over a year and i had no idea hes been there. I still love and care deeply for my ex and that really tares my apart. I really need help and guidance

79yxcc8 Am i Obsessed with him this way?
  • replies: 5

I found this advertisement for a hacker and i was able to gain remote access to his phone after because i just have the urge to since he had once cheated on me in time past and i cant seem to forget. i just want to know everyone hes with and communic... View more

I found this advertisement for a hacker and i was able to gain remote access to his phone after because i just have the urge to since he had once cheated on me in time past and i cant seem to forget. i just want to know everyone hes with and communicates to. Be my guide am i too obsessed?

Buggywug Buggywug
  • replies: 4

How does anyone deal with a family member who's obviously disturbed but refuses to discuss anything about her feelings with you? My sister, from a very young age was always extremely selfish, arrogant and haughty with other children, and an expert at... View more

How does anyone deal with a family member who's obviously disturbed but refuses to discuss anything about her feelings with you? My sister, from a very young age was always extremely selfish, arrogant and haughty with other children, and an expert at throwing tantrums to get her own way. She's still the same, at 60. Her rages are legendary, and she's at her rudest with those who've done the most to help her. I begged her to talk to me about what troubles her, but she accused me of trying to gather information to use against her. Her relationships are intense and always with men who drink heavily. When I asked her what the attraction to violent drunkards is, especially as they always end in drama and hysterics, and herself screaming at us to rescue her, she tore me apart. Worst of all are the lies. For instance, I saw her on a computer at our local library, spoke briefly, and went to visit our Mum, who was frantically packing bags and told me to get her a taxi. Sis had just rung to inform Mum that she was in the infectious diseases hospital and wanted Mum to visit her.. I nearly fell over, and told Mum that Sis was NOT in any hospital, but the library! Why on earth would anyone do that to their mother?? She tells terrible lies about people behind their backs, ( family included) and does so very believably. I warned her that she'd end up without a friend in the world if she kept that up, but her response was a screaming tirade. She lies to play off people against one another, and has been responsible for many a neighbour and family feud, She's had countless different addresses and rarely stays long anywhere, usually due to neighbours calling the police on her when she's abusing and threatening them. She can turn on the charm like a tap when it suits her, is very attractive and witty, but it never lasts. Everyone in her orbit eventually finds themselves in the firing line and leaves. Having her in the house is like sitting on a powder keg not knowing if, when or why the fuse will be lit. She literally exhausts everyone. Even at funerals, the focus has to be on herself,usually describing all the ghastly diseases she suffers from ( which she reads up in medical books but has never had.) She's a vegan, with loads of compassion for animals, but none whatsoever for people. If anyone can suggest what drives her, I'd be very grateful!

Siancorn Seperation - unable to cope
  • replies: 16

Hi All, My husband and I are separating after 18 years of marriage. This is not something I want, but I don't have a choice as he is cemented in his decision. I had an emotional affair about seven months ago and we have not been able to work through ... View more

Hi All, My husband and I are separating after 18 years of marriage. This is not something I want, but I don't have a choice as he is cemented in his decision. I had an emotional affair about seven months ago and we have not been able to work through it as he has been unable to forgive me. At this stage we are in the same house and have agreed to treat each other with kindness, gentleness and affection as we "both still care deeply about each other" and our son has asked us to work together to be emotionally stable before any big decisions are made. I am struggling to cope with our situation as we are still cuddling and have been intimate. I constantly feel anxious and on the verge of tears. I can't seem to shake these feelings..I need help..please?.

LUCIDFOX_X Moving to a new state?
  • replies: 1

Hey guys, have a quick read of a couple of my other threads to get a bit of background info. I've got something I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm living with my partner, have been since March 2019, and I just don't know how I'm feeling about it ... View more

Hey guys, have a quick read of a couple of my other threads to get a bit of background info. I've got something I'm struggling with at the moment. I'm living with my partner, have been since March 2019, and I just don't know how I'm feeling about it anymore. I really don't think I'm ready to settle down like this, it's kind of freaking me out. I'm only 22 and I want to date more and you know.. live my youth a bit more? But at the same time I think, should I do that? Do I want that? Dating could be crap but I just don't know if this person is 'the one'. My parents are moving away. I currently live in Sydney and so do they, but I've got a lot of history here with some pretty bad bullying and it went pretty viral. I'm concerned that if I break up with him that I'll lose a lot of my friends and I just don't want to deal with that either so I'm just unsure of what to do here. A part of me wants to go with my parents to Hobart (?) Because I don't think I'm ready to be away from them either. But I'm also worried about the career opportunity and salaries in Hobart as Sydney has way more opportunity and higher paying jobs. I work in operations and the median that I'd get paid is 46k + super. So break up and move? Break up and stay? Don't break up and stay? I just don't know. Some advice.. please! I'm desperate. And really just panicking.

Natalia123 Support
  • replies: 1

Hi All, In the last couple of years I have been at my Lowest of lows and I have experienced so many life stressors in a short amount of time. I use to be a bubbly care free young woman, and now I am a adult. During my time as an adult so much has hap... View more

Hi All, In the last couple of years I have been at my Lowest of lows and I have experienced so many life stressors in a short amount of time. I use to be a bubbly care free young woman, and now I am a adult. During my time as an adult so much has happened that my health has taking a dive. I have gained weight and lost my identity. There are people around but there is no real support for me I believe. I want emotional support I want people to truely understand the pain the past has brought me, the way I see it they carry on with their own lives.

SimpsonsLover Concerns about my relationship. Not sure if I should stay or go.
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I have been with my BF for over 4 years now & we have lived together for around 2 years. I'm currently at a point where I'm not sure if I'm 100% on this relationship anymore. We haven't had the easiest run - he's had several up and down... View more

Hey everyone, I have been with my BF for over 4 years now & we have lived together for around 2 years. I'm currently at a point where I'm not sure if I'm 100% on this relationship anymore. We haven't had the easiest run - he's had several up and down moments with his family and theres been two separate years now where they havent spoken for a period of over 12 months. They have been very horrible to me in the past as well, so honestly, I would rather not have anything to do with them (which is easier since they live overseas). Even though his parents have apologised to me, his mum and sister just trigger my anxiety... even the sound of their voice makes me uncomfortable. My BF only just recently started talking to them again, and I hate it. They didnt speak for over a year, but now within a few weeks of talking to them, he already wants to upheave all our plans for next year to fly across the world for a one month holiday. I'm about to sit my final exam of my intern year and once that's done, i'll be fully qualified in my field. My job has a lot of responsibility - I'm a senior member of staff so for me to take off for a month is not possible... however he just doesnt seem to want to understand this. I suggested 2 weeks which apparently isnt good enough. My BF has a lot of good qualities, but recently I see more of the bad. He's lazy, condascending, unsympathetic, short tempered, ungrateful and to some extent, self centred. I find it hard to talk to him about anything, especially anything to do with my feelings. Overall, i just find myself getting fed up with my BF. I do love him and our great moments are great. He can be very supportive and everything I want, but I find that decreasing. Our goals and views seem to be increasingly different and currently, I feel like I'm more in this relationship because its become routine. I dont have any friends so obviously another thought on my mind is that if I leave him, I dont have anyone in my life thats my age. My family is very supportive of me, and I know at the end of the day I'll always have them, but its hard to imagine not having anyone else. The other thing keeping me in this relationship is that we're currently on a defacto visa and that was the only way he could stay here (he didnt want to use our relationship, he wanted to use his qualifications but it wasnt possible) so if I break up with him, he will be sent back home which conflicts me as hes worked hard to stay here and I dont think thats fair.

moocow_1 Partner has anxiety and depression and keeps thinking I'm cheating: I'm not!
  • replies: 10

This is my first time posting. My partner of 6 years has anxiety and depression. It hasn't occurred in our relationship to such a full on extent as it has in the past 12 months. He blames me solely for it. He tends to over think everything and read i... View more

This is my first time posting. My partner of 6 years has anxiety and depression. It hasn't occurred in our relationship to such a full on extent as it has in the past 12 months. He blames me solely for it. He tends to over think everything and read into things that are not there. In February he invited a mutual friend over (who is the partner of one of our friends) and accused me of cheating with him. The friend denied it because it is not true. We have never done anything at all. I have never done anything with anyone since being with my partner. My partner is convinced that he noticed "patterns" showing up on social media and believes that me and the accused friend were chatting on line and that we would both get on and off social media within seconds of each other no matter what time of the day or night. I can't explain these "patterns" but what I do know for certain is that nothing has ever happened between us. Our friendship is totally ruined with this couple over this. I am mortified. I have deleted all my social media for my partner to help ease his anxiety. Just last weekend he now believes I am "up to something" again. We went to a child's birthday party and I went outside the venue to stand in the sun as it was freezing inside, I stood at the side left tyre of my partners car and had the sun shining on my face, I stood there for about 10 minutes, My partner is adamant that he came and looked for me 3 times and I wasn't where I said I was. He believes I am lying to him. He said he can't prove anything but that he's "not a fool". I am trying so hard to be understanding as I was the first time he accused me. I am walking on egg shells all the time and feel like I am being interrogated every time I say anything. I don't know what to do? How to respond to him? Whether to defend myself or simply let him believe what he believes? He believes he's never wrong. I am mentally exhausted. I have lost weight from all this before and am not a big woman to start off. I feel that this is so unfair and that he is using me as his personal emotional punching bag and that it's my fault because I allowed him to do this to me. He makes me feel guilty all the time and I've done nothing wrong. I need advice please.

AmieD Single and pregnant
  • replies: 1

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and having a hard time with dealing with been pregnant and alone . And been constantly feeling isolated and ignored by the father .

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and having a hard time with dealing with been pregnant and alone . And been constantly feeling isolated and ignored by the father .

InsertFakeNameHere New Dad - How do I cope at night?
  • replies: 4

I am a new dad (8 month old baby boy). He is a good baby. During the day, I am all good to change him or get him to sleep. But during the night, I am like a different person... I get frustrated easily and my first thought when I wake up to crying is ... View more

I am a new dad (8 month old baby boy). He is a good baby. During the day, I am all good to change him or get him to sleep. But during the night, I am like a different person... I get frustrated easily and my first thought when I wake up to crying is always "urgh, I am going to be so tired for work tomorrow... how am I going to cope being awake now... I am going to have to quit my job and find something easier for work.... etc". And i keep reading all these articles about how people need a good nights sleep for productivity and such... but it's just not possible with a baby. How do we cope with the nights - while working a day job with an early start? My wife is great but I want to do as much as I can for our little boy while maintaining enough energy during the day to earn an annual income to keep the family going. I know not to shake him and put him down when I am too stressed. But there is the sense of anxiety and fear... in anticipation of being tired for work (I work full time) the next dayand then not performing at work... leading to more anxiety and depression. I hope that makes sense and someone can provide some advice... at the very least, maybe there is someone else feeling the same way that this will help them knowing there is more of us new dads out there - who are struggling with night time duties while having to work a day job with early starts. I look forward to your replies..

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