FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Marriage counselling advice pls.

Find_the_way
Community Member

Hi All.

My wife and I are in a dark place and she is resistant to outside help but has indicated recently it may be a possibility, I feel I am only going to get one chance at this before she shuts it all down, so it’s critical to me to find the best option. I’m finding a lot of horror stories out there...

I’m under the impression that there are no specific referrals on BB for help, specifically marriage counsellors or whoever is deemed more appropriate but I’m in desperate need of some guidance as to where to go for help.

Somewhere to see reviews, first hand experiences etc would be a good start.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

4 Replies 4

Find_the_way
Community Member
P.s. I am in Melbourne but willing to travel.

Hi and welcome to beyond blue. I don't really have any advice except for a couple of hints. To find a counselor you could go to Google and search for


Marriage counseling directory

My own thoughts is that part of successful counseling depends on the relationship between the client and the counselor. Of course that doesn't mean a couple will or will not survive.

Now a counselor who works well with one client might not work well with another. Someone had suggested I see a spiritual director. I did but at the end of the first session I knew it didn't work. I am also sure this person works well with other people.

While every industry has some bad apples the majority do want to help.

Tim

Hello Find the way, I'm sorry for the situation you are in, but you seem to be caught between a rock and a hard place and I've been in the same situation when marriage counselling was suggested as my wife had taken our two sons and left.

Unfortunately, you won't know the right option until you've been through it but that happens all the time in the majority of situations.

Your doctor should know who you should contact, however, if the counselling doesn't favour your wife, then you're in a difficult position.

I say this because the marriage counsellor was agreeing with my wife only until she told him that I had suffered from an assault, then the counsellor started to favour me, that was the last session we had.

If you ring the BB phone number 1300 22 4636 they maybe able to advise you.

Hope to hear back from you and ask any questions you like.

Geoff.

romantic_thi3f
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Find the way,

Thank you for your post and I'm glad that you're looking into counselling as an option.

It is so hard to find the right counsellor, and unfortunately there isn't a review page - even if there was, people who are happy don't always give reviews! It's also part of the rules here not to recommend anyone specifically.

Some suggestions though:

- Have a look at the person's website (if they have one). You can find out a lot about a therapist through their website and have a better idea of if they'd be the right fit for you. You can also find red flags this way -I'd personally steer clear of any therapist that said that they could give cures, guaranteed happiness, or had a fixed number of sessions to 'fix' problems.

- Through your GP. They get feedback from clients and have often met the psychologists in person.

- Be open to testing the waters with a therapist. Some therapist's naturally wont be a good fit and some will. Asking questions in the first session can be helpful; such as 'what can we expect here?' 'how do you work with couples?' or 'will you meet with us together or separately?'

I hope that this is helpful to you! I wish you the best of luck in finding a good one.

RT