My sons an Ice Addict and is now in Remand 😕

Mandeth · ‎10-01-2018

I’m broken....so many emotions ! I’m so angry at my son, but I’m so worried about him. I’ve raised him and he’s become a monster. He’s only 21. But I still love him

He’s done some really awful things to some innocent people. There was a police search for 3 days and now he’s in remand. It’s where he should be, but it’s breaking my heart.

Drugs, Anything he can get his hands on or smoke. Thinks he’s invincible.

Raised in a normal (whatever that is) family home. Happy married parents, 3 siblings that function well in life, good education incouraged, but rebelled again it, rebelled against everything. Always loved and offerd support for his obvious struggles, with trying to function in adolescent life.

I feel like we missed something, I don’t understand why he’s so angry and needs to block everything out with drugs and inturn has lead him to a life of crime and violence.

He has a 8 month old daughter, our granddaughter, that he’s never met 😕

My baby boy is going to jail and I can’t do anything about it, I can’t protect him, I know he’d be scared and I can’t help him, it’s killing me 😕😕😕

geoff · ‎22-04-2018

Hi Freshie, it's brave for you to join Mandeth's thread and we take note of your comment and also feel so sorry for what you are going through.

You can't keep pretending to smile, it's too painful and exhausting and you know that some days will be worse than other days and the next few weeks/months are going to be difficult, knowing that he has gone from your house so are you comfortable putting on an AVO.

I knew an elderly chap who had a son that was on drugs, an alcoholic and also took money from his dad and emptied his bank account so an AVO was put on.

Can I also suggest booking an appointment with your doctor as you may need some counselling?

Geoff.

Lavender7 · ‎09-05-2018

Hi Mandeth Im sorry your son got 2years in jail but it may be the best thing for him,I also have a son addicted to ice but hes alot older now,its the hardest most traumatic thing to go through especially for family.Hes still young so theres heaps of hope. I just wanted to say that I know 3 young men who went to jail and they said it was best thing cos they are all still sober and have got their lives back.

Lavender7 · ‎09-05-2018

Hi Freshie Im new to this site as well,and I asked my adult son to move out too because of his ice addiction because I was emotionally exhausted and I know like you I have to look after myself. It still seems surreal, I understand where you are coming from when you say like a shell of a person trying to put on smile.Im very careful who I confide in now as Ive had people say some awful things and Ive felt stigmatized.Its a very painful and complex situation to be in.Thanks for making me feel not so alone.

Doolhof · ‎09-05-2018

Hi Lavender7

It has been a while since someone else has posted on this thread. I am not sure if you will receive much recognition here or not. If you are comfortable doing so, you may like to start your own thread if you have not done so already.

I'm really sorry to read about your son's addiction. Ice certainly sounds like a dreadful drug to get hooked on. It seems like it is readily available and people from all sections of society try it.

Being stigmatised for your son's actions must be difficult as well.

Hopefully you will receive some responses here!

Cheers from Dools

Mandeth · ‎10-05-2018

Ahhh tears !! That alone feeling is awful !! 😕

Hello feeling your heartache! Yes I have too in the past, had to ask my son to move out, had him arrested and watch him be taken away in handcuffs. All of the above, I had said I would never do....famous last words...my heart has actually, really hurt on many occasions 🙁

But yes we do have to start taking care of ourself...but as mums we are not programmed to do that...well society has us believing that under no circumstances are we to not look after our children, as in feed and accomodate them whenever needed....that part of society have not experianced,what It’s like to live with your child on drugs 😕

Our son in currently in jail, which is heartbreaking !!! But he was at the point that we knew, that he was either going to end up in jail or we were going to have to bury him...jail is defiantly the better option...something else I thought I would never be wishing for 🙈😐 But at the moment and for at least the next 2yrs (still have more charges to be sentenced) we know where he is, he’s being fed, he’s warm, has a bed and hopefully he can be reahbilitated

Thank you for reaching out and I will look up the group on Facebook, thankyou

Mandeth · ‎10-05-2018

Thankyou ! Yes it’s the biggest heartache 😕 Only those that have had to live it, understand.

Sometime I wish others would understand, but that would mean they’d also have to live it and I don’t wish that on my worst enemy.

Yes we never give up hope and are hoping jail may sort him out 🙏 time will tell.

Thankyou 😊

Mandeth · ‎10-05-2018

Yes still struggling, but have come to the realisation that my boy is where he deserves to be, still not sure if it’s the right place for him to be, but he could not continue to be free amongst the general public. And Was either he went to jail or was going to have to bury him...jail was the better option 😐

Last time I posted was about to attend court, for what I thought was going to be the last time, but no, was adjourned again till tomorrow. Currently still dealing with Magistrate charges and will receive a little more time....hopefully find out tomorrow.

He seems to be coping ok, different each time we chat. But conversation are getting better. Has started chatting about his daughter and is wanting me to make contact (which I’ve already had, but he doesn’t know that) he’s hoping that by me having contact and building a relationship with the baby mumma, that that will help him to be able to be in his daughters life in the future. So yes he is defiantly thinking about his future, which is all positive.

Phone calls have become more frequent and more pleasant (presuming due to the drugs are out if his system) and I am managing to control my emotion when talking much better....save my tears for when he hangs up 😕

Have been seeing a councillor and yes it does help, but I also gets a bit frustrated, cause it doesn’t change what is happening. Has help with giving advise, on how to talk to my other children about there brother. Also helps with trying not to be too sensitive to people opinions, comments, advise ect. Most people are only trying to help, but sometimes say awful things, but mostly they don’t know what to say and end up saying silly things 🤷‍♀️ Again I think people need to live it, to understand it....but I don’t wish it on anyone !

Not sure if Id already mention, but after he was arrested, I had to cleaning out his house and I got a needle stick 😳 was very scary ! But followed procedure (good ole google) and have been having blood test ect, all clear so far 👏 1 more to go.

I mentioned my son has a child, my granddaughter. Have recently been having some contact with her. She is my sunshine, in this awful storm 😍

I must try and sleep now, so I can put on my fake smile again tomorrow, for another day in court 😬

Thank you all, for your lovely words of support ! To others, struggling on this same heart wrenching path, stay strong and read all the lovely post, they really do help xx

demonblaster · ‎10-05-2018

Hi Mandeth thanks for keeping us in the loop ☺

I'm so glad it's sounding much better the contact your sons having with you as you say hopefully that's down to being drug free now. And that he's coping and looking at a future must be still no doubt terribly hard but at least with some light now.

And you've got your little Grand daughter.

I'm wondering if there might be support groups if you're interested they may run some from the jail or from internet with Mums in similar circumstances. Sorry if this has been mentioned I haven't caught up on the last couple of posts.

Woe good luck with your last needle test that's scary stuff and all good to dates sounding promising too

I think it's very brave of you holding on to cry till you hang up, how are you coping over all? I'm glad counsellings helping with aspects of all this. Certainly a lot of worry for you, you sound like you're holding together really well under very hard circumstances, remember anytime you need to shed here's safe to do so.

Support 🌹

Lavender7 · ‎10-05-2018

Thanks Dools .Truthfully Im not too good online,this is only second online group ive joined and the first one I stopped after a day.🤔 even my profile picture on this is around the wrong way lol ive got alot to learn. Im not on Facebook or any social media as it stresses me out but one of these days Ill get someone to help me set facebook up.Thanks for replying appreciate it. There are alot of people out there who have been affected by ice and maybe ill start new thread .