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My sons an Ice Addict and is now in Remand 😕

Mandeth
Community Member

I’m broken....so many emotions ! I’m so angry at my son, but I’m so worried about him. I’ve raised him and he’s become a monster. He’s only 21. But I still love him

He’s done some really awful things to some innocent people. There was a police search for 3 days and now he’s in remand. It’s where he should be, but it’s breaking my heart.

Drugs, Anything he can get his hands on or smoke. Thinks he’s invincible.

Raised in a normal (whatever that is) family home. Happy married parents, 3 siblings that function well in life, good education incouraged, but rebelled again it, rebelled against everything. Always loved and offerd support for his obvious struggles, with trying to function in adolescent life.

I feel like we missed something, I don’t understand why he’s so angry and needs to block everything out with drugs and inturn has lead him to a life of crime and violence.

He has a 8 month old daughter, our granddaughter, that he’s never met 😕

My baby boy is going to jail and I can’t do anything about it, I can’t protect him, I know he’d be scared and I can’t help him, it’s killing me 😕😕😕

38 Replies 38

Thx & for updating Mandeth, wow sorry your accident geez lucky you're ok, well kind of. Must have been very frightening & on top of your stress daghh

Feb 6th will come round before you know it darl

This is such a worry for you sorry you have to go through it all

Very best wishes for a good outcome. Listening & support anytime

Hi, thanks for your support !

All of the above....his crimes just escalate assaults, stealing, burglaries, assault on polices x2, breaking restraining orders, carrying weapons, gun on his premises, assault with a weapon, acquiring funds illegally, recently assault with weapon and stealing and put 2 people in hospital, car theft, no licence ect ect

Yeah he’s a bad boy and he deserves to pay for his crimes ! But he’s still my boy and I want him to learn from his incarceration, want him to take up all that is offered for him to be rehabilitated, help with his anger ect ect, but I have no control and I’ve been told he won’t be forced to participate, that it will be his choice 🤷‍♀️ !!! Making me crazy 😬

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Try to think positive. He was still paying his rent. That means he hasn't been totally lost.

Im

Hi Mandeth,

Not sure if you saw this post from Demon Blaster recently telling you the name of the thread you might find helpful:

"Sadness, grief and regret over sons incarceration".
Mandeth if you put this in search bar on top R) of page you should be connected to it.

I'm sorry to read about your accident as well. Hope you are okay and the car was insured! It may be tough going through your sons place as well packing it up. Do you have people to help with that?

The date in February will come around soon enough. I think I recall people mentioning in the "sadness and regret thread" some advice regarding court. Someone suggested that the Mum attend a court session before her son's hearing so she had an idea what would happen. You might like to make enquiries about that.

I have no idea about these things, but you might feel better if you do attend and then not have regrets later for not attending.

I know it is no comparison, but in the past I would have loved my husband to have attended hospital and specialist appointments with me but he always decided not to. It hurt me deeply sometimes. Made me a little resentful and lost a sense of hope in our relationship for a while.

Only you can decide what you think is best for you, your family and your son.

Cheers from Dools

Mandeth
Community Member

My son has been sentenced to 2 years 😕

BROKEN !

And still have some charges in the Magistrate Court to be sentenced 😕

Back in court today for those charges

Mixed emotions, will be good if all is finished today, but also will make it all so final/finished/real

I feel awful, but while I’m going to court and showing support ect and sometimes I’ve get to see my boy, when they bring him to court, but mostly sittings have been held via video link, I have then felt like I’m helping him in some way....sounds selfish...hard to explain 🙈

He has been calling me, when he feels like it or needs something ( I try to tell myself that’s a typical son and block out where he’s calling from) Some calls he sounds better and talks more positively about the future, then other calls he’s angry and aggressive towards me, says things like ‘I can’t wait to get out and go on a rampage and take all the drugs I can get hold of’ 😳, it’s good to hear from him either way. I’ve learnt not to get emotional will I talk to him, he hates hearing me cry, so I hold it in while we chat and then let it out when we hang up.

Anyway must get up, put a fake smile on my dial, sort my other children for the day and spend another day pretending I know what I’m doing. in the courthouse 😳🙈😕

P.S the court officers don’t even ask who I’m their for anymore and say ‘yes your boys on the list again’.....I’m sure they’ll miss me 😬

Hi Mandeth,

Wish I had the words to share with you right now. I have no idea with how you are feeling and what you are going through. It must be really difficult to see your son take this journey.

In one way it must be comforting to know that he wants to talk to you and needs to.

Are you getting any help and support for yourself through all of this, or for the other children? How are you all coping with what is happening?

Do you talk to the other children about what is happening to your son?

I guess the people at the courts see all kinds of things happening there. It must be hard for them at times as well to see all the broken lives coming and going.

Do you have time for yourself to do something to help you feel better within yourself?

Wishing you all the strength you need for yourself, your son and the rest of the family.

Kind regards from Dools

Once hes fully sentenced he'll meet with sentence management in the prison, they'll discuss his classification and which jail to send him too.

These factors include his charges, behaviour in prison and programs recommended by the courts.

Due to overcrowding at remand he'll likely be moved within a week

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hello Mandeth, I only think it would be natural for a parent in these circumstances to feel lousy and whether or not you look forward to his phone calls maybe an anxious time for you.

In what he has said when he is angry will certainly be a worry, but in his 2 years and maybe more, there is a chance of rehabilitation, the only wish is that he doesn't connect back with the people who put him where he is.

This fake smile is exhausting, I'm sure you know this, but what you need to do is be your normal self to your other children, but this will require help from your doctor because you need to be strong as his release period comes closer.

This will help with your other children, with your son in jail and certainly with yourself.

It's a difficult time ahead, so please get all the help you need from your doctor.
Best Wishes.

Geoff.

Hi Mandeth

Thanks for letting us know how it's all going.

I'm sorry you're going through such an ordeal. This would be so hard you sound as though you're holding it together, very strong.

Although you said it's all so final which I can see that point it also I hope will in time allow you some peace knowing what's going on as opposed to being up in the air as you said the mixed emotions could settle if it's sorted today

A thought I had, not knowledge or fact because I don't know your son or it may not be how it is. I was wondering if he when he's saying when I get out I'll get onto drugs again out of anger and fear and letting it out on his clearly loving Mum ☺ His emotions would be running pretty high, I hope for your sake in time he'll settle and become more responsive to you in a calmer way.

All the best Mandeth I'll continue watching your progress.

Take care of yourself as well

Freshie
Community Member
Hi, I am new to the forum. I too suffer an adult son with addiction. I had to put him out last week. What will b will b. I had to start taking care of myself. Anyway just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I float through days like a shell of a person trying also to put on a smile. I joined a facebook group a few days ago called The Addicts Mom. I highly recommend this site to you, it has been a big help to me. You will see your not alone.