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My sons an Ice Addict and is now in Remand ๐Ÿ˜•

Mandeth
Community Member

Iโ€™m broken....so many emotions ! Iโ€™m so angry at my son, but Iโ€™m so worried about him. Iโ€™ve raised him and heโ€™s become a monster. Heโ€™s only 21. But I still love him

Heโ€™s done some really awful things to some innocent people. There was a police search for 3 days and now heโ€™s in remand. Itโ€™s where he should be, but itโ€™s breaking my heart.

Drugs, Anything he can get his hands on or smoke. Thinks heโ€™s invincible.

Raised in a normal (whatever that is) family home. Happy married parents, 3 siblings that function well in life, good education incouraged, but rebelled again it, rebelled against everything. Always loved and offerd support for his obvious struggles, with trying to function in adolescent life.

I feel like we missed something, I donโ€™t understand why heโ€™s so angry and needs to block everything out with drugs and inturn has lead him to a life of crime and violence.

He has a 8 month old daughter, our granddaughter, that heโ€™s never met ๐Ÿ˜•

My baby boy is going to jail and I canโ€™t do anything about it, I canโ€™t protect him, I know heโ€™d be scared and I canโ€™t help him, itโ€™s killing me ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•

38 Replies 38

Mandeth
Community Member

Thank you Doolhof

Yes I have a lot of family support and a fantastic husband, but heโ€™s also struggling. We both trying to support each other, but also hating seeing each other struggle, such a roller coaster. Both trying to work and function with a days normal routine, Plus we have 3 other children, the youngest only 11. Trying to support them and helping them understand why there brother is being so awful, watching them be angry and sad.

Yes have also seeked some local councilling, which is good and yes feels good to โ€˜let it all outโ€™ but then have to come home and back to reality.

I just want to feel that Iโ€™m helping him and then work on everything else later

Feel so helpless !

Mandeth
Community Member

Thank you !

Just so heartbreaking ! Iโ€™m angry with him, but Iโ€™m also so very sad for the way heโ€™s living his life.

Trying to understand why ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Trying to understand how the drugs change someone so much.

Just want him to be happy !!!

Thank you !

Yes I just donโ€™t know which way he will go ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Heโ€™s never admitted he has a drug problem, thinks he has it under control, but he obviously doesnโ€™t. Heโ€™s never had a job, no licences ect

Says he hates โ€˜junkiesโ€™ but he injects anything into his veins he can get hold of, but says heโ€™s not a junkie. Professionals have told me he first needs to acknowledge he has a problem, before thereโ€™s any chance of helping him.

Also donโ€™t know how long heโ€™s sentence will be ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ Sort of hoping heโ€™ll get enough time to get โ€˜straightโ€™ and start to think clear and take advantage of what help is offered....but has major anger issues and am worried heโ€™ll just stew and come out even my determined to live his life โ€˜the way he wantsโ€™ his words ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ And yeah mix with the wrong people and just learn more awful โ€˜tricksโ€™

But killing me to say I want my son to be in jail ๐Ÿ˜•

But itโ€™s not safe to have him out ๐Ÿ˜•

Thank you gives me hope that there are people in the system that do care ๐Ÿ˜

Mandeth
Community Member

Hi, having trouble finding the thread youโ€™ve suggested...is there an easier way than scrolling through them all ??? Please

Jail has a way of sorting the hardened criminals from the pretenders...

Depending on charges, first timers have a high probability of being bailed at court...drug court rehabs are also an option.

Given its his first time and his charges aren't that serious there's more leeway for him

If you have any queries about the prison and what you need to know let me know

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi

I know in Queensland there are support groups to help families adjust to a family member incarcerated. Not sure about other states though sorry. It can be scary going into a remand centre first.

Your son first time will be segregated most likerly. That's what happens at Wacol with first timers. They also get seen by a phc for a full evaluation. I understand it is hard but right now he will be safe and get whatever help he needs.

We are all here to help you as long as you need us.

Sadness, grief and regret over sons incarceration".

Mandeth if you put this in search bar on top R) of page

Guest_161
Community Member

Hi Mandeth

Sorry to hear about your son, its only natural of a mother to feel and think the things your saying, i was a partner of an ice addict who was in and out of jail , the times he got out and relapsed back into that lifestyle i couldn't wait for him to go back in.

As mentioned above its up to your son which way he goes, ice is also accessible in jail too.

Im guessing he must have done something serious to not get bail straight away? or he was on bail and breeched?

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi Mandeth, with any addiction the person has to admit that they have an addiction before the help they need can be administered.

What this means is that once he is released that he shouldn't see any of mates again, easy to say but hard to do, however he maybe determined not to himself.

The scare from being in remand might be strong enough for him to stay clean, you really hope so and so do we, plus any further drug programs he can attend when he is released will help him.

What you say 'I want my son to be in jail' is because you know where he is and not on the streets, so please don't punish yourself, we are here for you. Geoff.

Mandeth
Community Member

Hi, thanks everyone for your words of support ! It does help

On top of everything else, I had a car accident last Friday, just what we needed. Wrote the car off ๐Ÿ˜ฌ but luckily I got out with a couple of nights in hospital, a few bumps and bruises and my sense of cravity is โ€˜up the puttโ€™ due to doing a full flip in a big 4WD. But Iโ€™m on the mend and back to reality.

My big boy went to court today and it has been adjourned till the 6th Feb ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ The system is so frustrating. So back to remand till then....I think, not sure if heโ€™ll go to the big prison๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I didnโ€™t go to court, I wanted too, but thought he may react badly to me being their. I think he would have deep down like to have seen me their, but his way of dealing with emotions are with anger ๐Ÿ˜•

I have to go pack up his rental house tomorrow, will be heartbreaking. One good thing and we always praised him for it, he had kept a roof over his head for nearly a year (had been homeless at previous times) and had paid his rent. Normal for some, but huge in his drug fueled life.

So we get on with life, put our fake smiles on our dials and get through another day and wait and see what happens on the 6th ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Thanks again xxx