My mental health is sucking the life out of our relationship

[Feya]

My partner and I have been together for 4 years. He is the most amazing, caring and supportive person in my life and I have adored him from the very moment I met him. I even moved states to be with him. Before I moved I was happy, balanced and FUN. I was strong and independent. Worked my ass off to have the life i did and i enjoyed it. When I moved, I lost all of that. Being stuck living with his parents, unemployed and away from everyone and everything I've ever known sent me into deep depression, anxiety and PTSD (from childhood.)

I lost so much of my self that I feel like it's put a strain on our relationship. It's been hard on both of us and made us both so serious. We're unhappy living with his folks and I know that's a huge source of our stress. But I'm only 21 and I'm worried that we won't get that spark back again. Being in a relationship this serious is already a big commitment and comes with it's own hardships. But do you think it's possible to get back to what we used to be? Or has my mental state put a damper on our relationship forever??? We both used to be so carefree and playful but these hard times have put such a darkness and seriousness over our relationship. What do you think please?

[geoff]

Hello Feya, and thanks for posting your comment.

I feel sorry for how you are feeling and it is sad that once you were interstate the relationship was great, but now you and your partner do not like living with his parents and this has change how you are feeling.

You haven't changed how you feel about your partner, it's being overshadowed by your circumstances, so can I suggest that the two of you move out and this is possible even if you're not working, either living together or separately.

Centrelink can pay the bond money and a couple of weeks rent, all you will need are references and once accepted you can apply for rent assistance.

Op shops are able to give away furniture or it can be bought cheaply.

Can I also recommend booking an appointment with your doctor, both of you can visit them at the same time or you can ring Kids Helpline 5 to 25 years on 1800 55 1800 who can discuss the situation with you.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Feya]

Thanks Geoff, I do think you're right.

The age set to get paid as an adult by Centrelink is 22 so in the government's eyes, I am still dependant on my parents for money whom I haven't spoken to in years. It's a rough situation all around otherwise we would've moved out a very long time ago. The place where I live is a black hole for job opportunities so it's been near impossible to find work.

Next year my SO and I are going to try and move cities and away from his folks place. Hopefully jobs are better there and we can work on rebuilding the spark that has simmered down