My husbands depression is pushing me away

[AG1988]

Hi All,

I will try and write the short version to this. My husband and I are both 30 and have a 5 year old daughter. My husband has suffered from depression for awhile and in a result of this last year left me for 4 months and went back to family in NZ. It was never a discussion and he was actually diagnosed over there and got help. This is also when he was placed on medication. Although when he was there the help was great, he went out alot with his brothers drinking. I had to stay back in Aus and pay for a life that we led on a dual income but now on a single income. He never called our daughter, never asked about her and only would contact me when he wanted money. I tried to help when I could but I knew I was enabling the drinking. I felt sorry for him and I was in pain that I wanted my husband back. Before he left to NZ he told me he wasnt sure if he saw a future with me - he was on instagram alot and took a liking to all the unrealistic photos on instagram.

When he came back, he was amazing - he was more emotionally engaged. He actually could talk about his emotions. Until 8 weeks later his younger brother from NZ moved in with us, we then lost our famliy dynamic and he started drinking and having single lifestyle with his brother.

I agreed to move to a bigger house where is brother could live with us and things got worst - my husband now goes out twice a week and spends nearly all our money - to the point where our childcare dishonours and I have no money to feed us. I would stress that this was unfair, but he didnt seem to care. Recently We both lost our jobs and he got a new one - I suggested for me to get a part time job so I could be there for my daughter starting school next year. He asked why - I stated that I do not get help around the house at all, I am a single mother and feel that if I dont get help with the night time chores the stress of a full time job for me isnt worth it... The convo went to apparently I nag all the time, and the house is a bad place to live. I got so upset that he thought this after I supported him last year and I havnt brought up anything since now his brother lives with us and i never ever get help. So I left - I am now 5 days in. He hasnt contacted me only a text saying we need space to calm down. I am now preparing for a proper separation and to move on with my life. I am not this time round - going to suggest help or fight for him - i think now he needs to realize????

[AG1988]

That sounds really positive. Well done for loving yourself. You and the kids are the most important thing in it all 🙂