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My Husband has walked out suffering from depression

Loving_wife1
Community Member
After many years, he finally got help with his illness, and after being on medication for 10 months, has said he has no feelings and feels vague about everything. He left the kids and myself to stay at his sisters about 5 weeks ago. After 2 weeks I noticed he been in contact with his ex from 20 years ago. He found out I knew and said he wanted a separation and nothing was happing between them both. He is come off his meds in the last few weeks and doesn't seem the man that I knew. Feeling so lost, but will always be there for him no matter what happens. I have to be strong for our young children, and are seeking help from Relationships Sa for myself, as he does not want to see doctors or anyone. What can I do to help????
6 Replies 6

Pysis
Community Member

Hi loving wife

im sorry to hear about what you are going through it must be very hard especially with young children. Your husbands feelings he described to about having no feelings is actually a common side affect of antiperspirants and may not be the right medication for him. As for him coming off his medication it probably isn't the best thing as you probably know but sometimes the the lack of feelings can feel worse than the actual depression itself. As for him contacting his ex he might just feel he needs to talk to someone he trusts who is removed from his current life, he is probably feeling very overwhelmed with everything at the moment and feels he needs to seperate himself from it although this probaly isn't the best thing. I'm really not sure what you can do for him at the moment he needs to want to come back and he also needs to want to get help. I'm sorry that it probably doesn't help but I think all you can do at the moment is try and be there for him and make sure he knows that and keep trying with him try and find out what is going on in his mind at the moment.

i hope things get better soon

Nath

Hi Pysis,

I feel the same as you said, he finally wants to talk about stuff tonight, but he keeps pushing me away, and I said I will be here for him not matter what. All I can do tonight is listen.....

Hi loving wife

it is a very good thing that he is willing to talk to you tonight it means he might be willing to let you in and get help. Don't take him pushing you away personly haveI g depression is hard we want help and we want to let people in but at the same time we push people away and shit them out either becuase we don't want them getting hurt or becuase we are afraid of being judged or miss understood even though deep down we know they won't do that. All you can do now is listen and try and understand he's side and take it from there.

i hope things go well tonight, please let us know how it goes.

kind thoughts

Nath

Ggff
Community Member

Hi there

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It must be heartbreaking for you to experience and also to see the man you love acting this way.. good luck with tonight. Stay strong and do what is best for yourself and your children x

Confusedandhurt
Community Member

Hi Loving Wife

I feel for you. It must be difficult trying to keep things upbeat for your children, whilst experiencing your own emotions. Your husband is lucky to have your unconditional love.

I hope tonight has gone well.

Look after yourself and like ggff says, do the best thing for yourself and your children.

C&H x

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Loving wife, I'm also very sorry that this has suddenly happened and sorry that he has stopped taking his medication, but perhaps by talking with his ex has made him do this, only because this can happen when they start talking with another person, although it's with his ex then maybe they have separated/divorced for another reason.
What concerns me is that the talk he wants with you maybe not what you're hoping for, as he still seems to be pushing you away, but if so, then this shouldn't stop you being there for him.
People suffering from any type of depression do push their loved ones away, and this is for a couple of reasons, they don't want you to carry their illness and secondly don't like to be asked question after question, simply because they have no answers as they don't know themselves. Geoff.