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The Revolving Door

SeekingSolace83
Community Member
Struggling daily and conflicted within myself about how to break the cycle. I have been in my relationship for 12yrs and feeling disconnected from my other half and socially cannot find where my piece of my puzzle fits with this desire to belong and be accepted as I am. Arguing daily, and feeling belittled as there is always something that I may have said or done that is not acceptable. Questioning where I went wrong and how could have managed myself and the situation differently. Having an opinion and challenging him always ends in disaster where I am at fault and to blame and never takes accountability where I play the victim and paint a picture of him to others that he deems is untrue. I am incapable of nurturing friendships as I have nothing to contribute other then how miserable I am and find it hard to find joy in my daily life. I am a mother to 2 of the most amazing kids but still anxious on the daily about their future, the mental anguish is exhausting. I can't turn off that little voice in my head, my voice of reason. When does it end.
1 Reply 1

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this seeking solace. As someone who was in an emotionally abusive relationship, I'm seeing a lot of similarities. It is a fundamental human desire to want to belong abd connect and when we don't feel that, particularly at home which is our respite from the world, this can leave us feeling anxious and lost. But that little voice knows deep down what is right and wrong, despite people trying to alter our perception of reality and what we know to be true. I finally got the courage to leave my long-term relationship and after that, I noticed that all of my anxiety and the feeling that I was losing my mind dissipated. That's not to say I'm not a person who isn't depressed, because I am, but everything was just magnified by how I was being treated. Try and give yourself some space to be yourself, do some things just for you, get out of the house, go out to dinner with a friend, just try and give yourself some perspective and breathing space.