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My baby having babies and severing communication with me is too painful

Community Member

Trauma. I don’t even know what that word means any more, it gets bandied about everywhere and most everyone has some diagnosis or another. I do know that being separated from my kids was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced.

it was on a backdrop of domestic violence and drug addiction, but I changed things and still seem to be being punished for things outside my control.

I have a very respected responsible job in healthcare, I try my best to be polite and consistent, but my daughter has literally cut off all communication with me. She speaks with other family members but very very limited, and even then it’s my ex husband’s family, not mine. I feel so ripped off, it’s so unfair, and powerless. That sounds childish…but my pain is really simple and child like. I’m also feeling very isolated and not coping with the rejection. All I want to do when I’m not at work is drink wine, so I don’t feel so much. Then I’m tired at work…people don’t necessarily know anything, I think I come across as happy and fairly normal?

i don’t know where to turn. I’m not about to kill myself but I’m bereft for ideas. Be patient. Yeah, great. And?!

hello….it’s my first venture into something like this, so hi. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do but I’m exhausted and sad and angry just now and simply need to articulate it or something before I go crazy.

2 Replies 2

Hey Then&now,

Welcome to our friendly online community. We are so grateful that you decided to reach out here today as we know it can be really tough to do this for the first time. It’s a great step to have taken, and we’ll be here for you on this journey.

We can hear that with so many things on your mind, and when feeling isolated and rejected, drinking is something you've been wanting to do more and more. Have you reached out to anyone about this? This could be a conversation with your GP or with any existing mental health support, or a chat with a friend, colleague or family member who you feel will be able to listen and support any changes you'd like to make. Another option is discussing this with our our friends at Counselling Online, who have some really good resources on Making a Change, here. There’s also the Beyond Blue helpline on 1300 22 4636, or on webchat if you’d prefer to speak to counsellor there. Our kind and understanding team can talk this through with you and help you to figure out how you can get some support on the path to sobriety. Other community members have previously mentioned Daybreak, the app, to be a useful resource. You can find out more about this here.

If you have been thinking about killing yourself, we do strongly encourage you to reach out to the GP or another proffessional support. It sounds like there's some really heavy feelings, and we don't want you to be alone with them. If ever feeling unable to avoid acting on thoughts about suicide or self-harm, the number to call is 000.

This is a judgment-free space, so please feel free to share, knowing that you'll be met with understanding. Hopefully a few of our welcoming community members will pop by soon to welcome you and offer some words of support and advice.

Kind regards,

Sophie M 

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Then&now,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I wanted to also congratulate you on your progress and how far you have come.

I understand that addiction is a hard thing to overcome and I understand that it can cause alot of turmoil for the addict and their families.

I’m sorry that your children where taken off you I know that would have been very traumatic for you.

Im sorry that your daughter has cut contact with you I understand that would feel distressing for you, I can understand the sadness and isolation feelings.

Have you thought about writing your daughter a letter? I letter of love and one were you can tell your daughter what happened from your perspective and let your daughter know the place you are now in yourself.

I know it’s hard but time can heal all wounds really it can, give it time and never loose hope that yourself and your daughter will be united.