Hi all
I’ve struggled with anxiety for most of my life, sometimes managed it well, other times not so well. I’ve previously had to escape an abusive relationship with a partner, and start over in another state.
My sister has supported me through this, however, she doesn’t fully understand what any of it feels like. If I’m not doing everything she thinks I should be, she gets angry. I was recently triggered by an event at work in which a man ran into the store yelling, bleeding and trying to find another car to steal. I had to handle the aftermath with police, and helping look after two young teens who he’d stolen keys from. My boss and my other superior weren’t at work that day, and I found it difficult. I wanted to help everyone, but was struggling not to break down myself.
I thought I would be ok, but it triggered past memories and feelings of being in danger. I wasn’t able to make it into work the next two days, and I behaved poorly by not letting them know. I was overwhelmed, terrified and the only way I could cope was to sleep. My work rang my sister to see what was going on, and when I didn’t answer my phone, she came over. I feel ashamed of my behaviour, terrified of going to work tomorrow, and after speaking with my mother, have learnt that my sister is angry and fed up with me. I could tell she was angry as soon as she arrived at my place, and she wanted nothing to do with me. I don’t know how to handle her. I don’t want to lose her, but it feels awful that she’s angry with me, is always thinking I’m not doing enough, or trying hard enough. I feel like she considers me a failure, and doesn’t want anything to do with me.
