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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Murph7 Ending my marriage (added complexity of having an autistic son)
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone, bit of a longer post so my apologies, and thank you to those who read and provide their perspective. I’m 34, my wife of 2.5 years is 28, and together we have a 2yr old son. Our son is autistic (not officially diagnosed, but all of our a... View more

Hey everyone, bit of a longer post so my apologies, and thank you to those who read and provide their perspective. I’m 34, my wife of 2.5 years is 28, and together we have a 2yr old son. Our son is autistic (not officially diagnosed, but all of our allied health specialists agree he is somewhere on the spectrum). This has put a significant strain on our marriage over the past 12 months as our son (let’s call him ‘H’) can be very difficult to manage. It is reaching the point where I can’t see the relationship recovering, and the lack of improvement in H is continuing to be detrimental to my mental health, and presumably my wife’s too. I am at the point where I am almost ready to leave the relationship, but am burdened by how difficult H is to manage and don’t want my wife to go through this on her own. We live close to my family but 12 hours away from hers, so outside of my family and her very few friends she has little support. She also does not work because my son has therapy and other activities 4 days a week, and I don’t want her pressured to work as the time she spends with H is so valuable for his development. So I feel like I am stuck in this relationship whether I like it or not. To be clear, I’m not wanting to not be around my son. I honestly think it would be easier for my wife and I to share his care so we each get a break from him but also have relatively equal care and time with him. I guess I’d just like some advice from others who have been in or can relate to my situation? I’m happy to go into further detail and answer any questions if needed. I’m at a loss and feel terrible how things are turning out. I can feel my life deteriorating and all aspects are being negatively impacted by this situation

xxxsoldierxxx Mother told me to find somewhere else to live
  • replies: 2

I turned 18 about a week and a half ago, and two days ago my mother told me to find somewhere else to live if I was going to keep behaving like a 'little shit.' We're always fighting and it's gotten to the point where I don't feel safe to go home bec... View more

I turned 18 about a week and a half ago, and two days ago my mother told me to find somewhere else to live if I was going to keep behaving like a 'little shit.' We're always fighting and it's gotten to the point where I don't feel safe to go home because I'm scared I'm going to do something incredibly stupid and hurt myself. I can't focus on my school work because I'm too stressed, and I've been crying for two days straight. I am trying so hard to keep it together but I'm so close to the edge, and I literally just want to die. I have no clue what to do. I can't go home, but I don't know where else I'm supposed to go.

Abused_used_alone Really upset
  • replies: 1

Hi my husband called me a psycho today. Said he would book me in to get help. I’ve been looking after his brothers kids for 9 years and I have recieved nothing but abuse. I am I’ll and get no support from him. I’m sick from auto immune and he ignores... View more

Hi my husband called me a psycho today. Said he would book me in to get help. I’ve been looking after his brothers kids for 9 years and I have recieved nothing but abuse. I am I’ll and get no support from him. I’m sick from auto immune and he ignores me but is more interested in his brothers kids foot. Calls the doctor n all. But says he will book my appointment first. Psycho ward. plus he blames me all the time for what goes on in his life. I think it’s time to tell him to go get. S…..d

adamc I'm Straight, Only Bi-curious Guys Interested in Me and Not Bothered By it?
  • replies: 5

For as long as I have lived, I've been straight and interested in women but lately I've noticed bi-curious guys are the only ones interested in me and I don't why, but I'm not bothered by it.

For as long as I have lived, I've been straight and interested in women but lately I've noticed bi-curious guys are the only ones interested in me and I don't why, but I'm not bothered by it.

Kim1988 Newborn baby struggles
  • replies: 10

Hi all. I’m 8 days postpartum now after a C-section and I’m a first time Mum. I love my little boy to the moon and back. Before my little boy was born I had never had much experience looking after small babies and I’ve never been particularly materna... View more

Hi all. I’m 8 days postpartum now after a C-section and I’m a first time Mum. I love my little boy to the moon and back. Before my little boy was born I had never had much experience looking after small babies and I’ve never been particularly maternal, unlike my sister. I like kids, but just never had that natural motherly flair. I’m struggling with getting the hang of the basics i.e. nappy changing, correct way to hold the baby. My husband on the other hand picked things up like a pro. My husband has been very helpful luckily. My little boy is so serene and peaceful during the day, but at night it’s a struggle sometimes to settle him down. It stresses me out when he cries so much. He was so attached to me in the hospital. He loved sleeping in my arms, now we’re at home and there’s more people around so I think he’s not as attached to me as he was in the hospital. I feel like such a bad mother cause sometimes I feel like I’ll never get the hang of things. I’m sure my little boy can pick up on the fact that I don’t have a lot of confidence with him. He’s such a sweet baby and I just want to do a good job for him and to be happy and healthy.

adamc Dad's Easily Frustrated And Won't Do Anything About It
  • replies: 3

My dad's 70-years old and I've noticed he gets easily frustrated over the tiniest things. He also has health issues but is happy to just tolerate them. For example, when an ATM didn't give him a receipt he just blurts out "Things just keep going wron... View more

My dad's 70-years old and I've noticed he gets easily frustrated over the tiniest things. He also has health issues but is happy to just tolerate them. For example, when an ATM didn't give him a receipt he just blurts out "Things just keep going wrong today!!" Also, he has electric gardening tools like a line trimmer and a blower and he's always complaining about dragging leads around and sometimes throwing them to the ground in frustration and each time I offer to replace them with lead-less ones, he refuses saying "No, I will persevere with them." Back in December, he walked out the door in the middle of the afternoon and didn't come back till the next morning. My mum hurt her foot in December and while doing the dishes, he said "I won't have to put up with it any longer" and when I asked him why, he just plainly responded "Don't worry about it." Sometimes I just get the impression that instead of having his problems fixed, he'd just prefer to complain about them and how he has to put up with it.

white knight Jealousy- (personal relationships)
  • replies: 7

Who wouldnt be jealous of anyone giving our partner extraordinary attention? Maybe not everyone would be concerned but add offering their phone number or them asking personal questions and it's a different ball game. Questions like "are you REALLY ha... View more

Who wouldnt be jealous of anyone giving our partner extraordinary attention? Maybe not everyone would be concerned but add offering their phone number or them asking personal questions and it's a different ball game. Questions like "are you REALLY happy". I recall this once when in a past relationship and my partner and I were new in town, a village really and I had joined the local fire brigade. The wife of a colleague got more talkative at each social event before she finally sprung that question on me. She hadnt even met my partner. Being loyal (and happy then) I informed my partner and the rage she felt was astonishing. As she said "I have a right to feel jealous- dont I". She did, actually trust wasnt an issue, infringing on her man was. It really dawned on me that the woman was probing to establish my "availability". So, as the recent thread (Jealousy- material items) stated, jealousy without an extreme feeling is normal. If someone is envious of what you have then that usually creates a defensive reaction. But there is many more daily jealousies born from simple observations of the sex preference you have. A happily married man observing a lady at work can feel jealous of her partner even though there might not be any desire to "stray". We have here on this forum members over the years that have had a crushes like this. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/married-and-have-a-crush-on-some-from-work---please-help-me- The "grass is greener" syndrome is a serious one that can lead to ruining marriages. More often than not these crushes never eventuate more than what they are but when the crush moves towards an action of some sort there is always turmoil. Feelings of both parties in a committed relationship- the one that has a crush on him/her by a work colleague and the partner learning of its existence. Again both individuals in the marriage have normal feelings- discomfort and jealous respectively. However it is only an issue if the established trust boundaries are broken and all communication is open about it if it is ongoing. It's a nice feeling being liked, but there is ways of enforcing your relationship rules to avoid a crush from getting anywhere, even generating temptation. Dont attend xmas breakups if you know a crush will be there and so on. Your partners jealousy might well be normal but the powderkeg of emotions will surface quickly if it appears intrusive. TonyWK

Nocturne92E Not sure how to process my husband’s secret
  • replies: 15

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 9 years. It was my birthday earlier this month and I was sneaky and snooped in his emails to see what I would be getting for my birthday. I found some emails of purchase confirmations f... View more

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and married for 9 years. It was my birthday earlier this month and I was sneaky and snooped in his emails to see what I would be getting for my birthday. I found some emails of purchase confirmations for some foundation and makeup and was mildly surprised that he would want to get me that. Anyhow, I received no makeup for my birthday… and so tonight I decided to investigate further, and found multiple purchases that were being sent to a parcel locker. The only place where he knows I wouldnt usually get to was his car so while he was in the shower I checked and found some high heels hidden in his boot. My mind was just totally scattered… was he cheating? But then I went back and checked the shoeboxes and they were in his size… my mind is blown and I just can’t seem to gather my thoughts. Our marriage is fairly sexless and we’ve spoken on and off about seeing someone about this as I do feel like it is affecting me mentally (particularly as we keep saying we want to try for another child…). I don’t know what this means… is he gay? If I say something will it ruin our marriage? I was totally wrong to snoop but I’m also angry that he’s kept something from me… but I don’t know if I want to face whatever comes next if I confront him…but I don’t know how to move on as if I know nothing… and if I say nothing I’m worried I’ll eventually kill my love for him…. What do I do???

ChiRoseOne Messed up a friendship few months back after mixing alcohol and anti depressants, now feel isolated from friend group.
  • replies: 2

I’m OCD and I started taking anti depressants ~6 months ago for it. Drank a lot one night and ruined my life at the time. Ruined a friendship, had to quit my job because of stuff I said. Now all my friends are going to this other friends birthday tom... View more

I’m OCD and I started taking anti depressants ~6 months ago for it. Drank a lot one night and ruined my life at the time. Ruined a friendship, had to quit my job because of stuff I said. Now all my friends are going to this other friends birthday tomorrow and I feel isolated because I was not invited, even though they say they forgive me for what I said. I just hate my life rn. Have for the last ~10 years. Have felt super lonely for basically that entire time, like I have no one to talk to. No one who understands me or wants to be with me. I know this is a lot of self pity rn but I just feel like crap.

Ruth-07621 Want to leave partner.
  • replies: 16

Hi, wondering if anyone has any experiences with this they could shed some light for me?! I have been planning to leave my partner for a few months, actually made the decision. He smokes weed alot and emotionally abusive. Not full on but enough to ma... View more

Hi, wondering if anyone has any experiences with this they could shed some light for me?! I have been planning to leave my partner for a few months, actually made the decision. He smokes weed alot and emotionally abusive. Not full on but enough to make me cry alot, not love him anymore and want to leave. I have been working casually and also studying. I have low self esteem and have found it hard to get another job to support myself. My plan was to get full time work and pay rent myself but the situation is getting more urgent to leave. It is so toxic here. I am thinking about asking my parents if I can move in with them until I get a f/t job. It's just , I'm in my early 30's now which for one makes me feel ashamed I haven't got my life together and two I feel like such a burden on them. I have moved in and out of their place in the past , leaving another partner on and off. My dad said not to come back, kinda jokingly but... now I don't want to ask. My parents don't know anything about what I've been going through here and I'm considering just telling them the truth. I just feel so ashamed of my situation. What would you do?!!