Trapped by work

[max_u]

Just to start, English isn’t my strong suit. 
I’m six year in on my business, I’m established and things are going well on the surface. 
underneath I feel trapped, I work 14-16 hrs a day six but usually seven days a week, I picked up a second job just help out. 
my partner is very sick and I feel I should be spending all my time with him before it’s too late. 
I haven’t seen much of my family either apart from the occasional phone call. 
I don’t have any friends. 
I’m working to keep our heads above water and I do alright but things are getting tight. 
we are planning a trip to Disneyland but will need to produce a lot of money quickly, money I just don’t have. 
I do love my job though. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Perhaps the obvious is not obvious to you but it glares out at me- the plan to visit Disneyland with much cost when you are "working to keep our heads above water and I do alright but things are getting tight. "

For several years I worked long hours like you and it was shift work, 6x 12 hours a week some night shift, some day shift 12 hour shifts. On holidays I worked a second job. Eventually like any machine, I broke and never recovered, in fact at 57yo forced to retire. Prevention is better than cure, you have to look after your own well being.

"charity begins at home" so why are you "helping out" others when you have a sick partner and no friends?

I dont have any magic wand that can help except for the above truthful observations however it is brave of you to write in and receive a reflection from others.

TonyWK

[Sophie_M]

Hi max_u,  It sounds like things are pretty hard, and you’re coping with a lot. We’re sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and are feeling overworked.   Well done for opening up here. It’s really difficult to be open and articulate about how you’re feeling and what might be aggravating it. Lots of people on the forums find that sharing is an early step on the journey towards feeling better. We’re sure we’ll hear from them on your thread soon. In the meantime, here’s a resource you could take a look at: 

• The Beyond Blue Heads Up resources on taking care of your mental health.  

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, please give the helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636 or use the webchat to speak to them.  Thanks again for sharing. Our community is really kind and understanding, we think they’ll have some really helpful advice and perspectives.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[Guest_1584]

Hi op.

Just wondering is it the partners health why the rush to Disneyland, as a treat while he still can ?

lf not then why not forget all that for now that's silly putting yourself under that sort of extra stress just for a trip that can wait otherwise .

On the hrs yeah , l've had a business over 30yrs and back in late 20s l worked those sort of hrs for yrs. l realize it is different at that age but like WK, it still really took it's toll later on. These days , 50s, l can still feel what that took out of me a long with a lot of other things l did and l've only worked part time the last few yrs.

l was going to stop all together actually for awhile l felt l couldn't go on, but things l was relying on to manage it didn't come through and so for now l do still have to work but it is only pt. That's def' all l can manage now due to MH from life itself too but also burn out from all those yrs earlier..

Loving what you do for work is one thing, but it shouldn't be your life, we need a real life too or what's the point. And we need to realize before it's too late that we're not as bullet proof as we think nc those kind of hours def' come back to bite you later.

Good luck anyway.

rx

[JED1980]

Hi there

Whilt i can understand you wanting to do something nice for your partner, and take them to Disneyland, would he be well enough to enjoy it? 

Maybe have a look at the pros and cons of going before putting yourself under pressure to be able to afford it.

You need to take time to do things for you. Rest and relaxation is important for you if you are working and caring for your partner. 

Take care of yourself too.

Are you able to access respite services to give yourself a break? You have a lot going on.  Maybe see if there is some financial assistance the government can offer so you can cut back on working? 

I have been in the same situation. Working, kids and looking after a partner who was not well. I understand how hard it can be. Its a tricky balance to get right. 

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can.

All the best

Jayne