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More than just an empty nest

Rubyrug
Community Member
I have suffered multiple losses over the past 5 years, grief seems to be ever present. Part of my problem is that I don’t have anyone to talk to who is in a similar situation.
My daughter moved interstate 5 years ago, it is unlikely she will return. I miss her and struggle with the distance I have to travel to visit and the lack of spontaneity that is now part of our relationship. My close friend and confidant died 4 years ago, she was my ‘go to’ person, I could talk to her about anything, she was very pragmatic. My mother died 3 years ago, we were very close, I miss her daily.
My son also moved interstate 18 months ago. He was unable to find work and thought there would be more opportunities interstate. He didn’t want to leave and has only found part time work thus far but seems quite settled.
My distress mainly stems from the fact that my children have moved away. I had no issues with them leaving home but I never imagined that both of them would move so far away. I am sad that I will no longer have the sort of family life I envisaged.
I raised them alone for 11 years. I have re-partnered to a lovely man who was a great step-father. He is not interested in moving interstate and I sometimes feel I am going to have to make a choice between him and the kind of family life I would like to have with my children. I feel quite broken hearted that I won’t be able to be an actively involved grandparent.
I have tried to create a new life for myself and have taken up new interests, but that is part of the problem. Because of my age and peer group, my friends and acquaintances have children and grandchildren living nearby, I don’t know anyone in the same situation as me. Thus, the situation that makes my most unhappy is constantly being thrown in my face. Wherever I go I’m listening to people talk about their lives with their children and grandchildren and this only serves to emphasise what is missing in my own life.
I am finding it very difficult to find a way out of my grief and depression when I am surrounded by people who have the kind of life I thought I was going to have. Nevertheless I persevere because I don’t believe staying at home and isolating myself is a constructive way to deal with my situation. I sincerely wish I could meet some other parents in a similar situation to me, it would be a welcome relief to converse with someone who understands the way I feel. I have tried to find a support group but have been unsuccessful thus far.
3 Replies 3

mocha delight
Community Member
I may not understand your situation but please know if you ever need to talk I’m here for you ok and I’m a good listener to 🤗

Thank you mocha delight, I appreciate that.....that was my first forum post, took me a while to pluck up the courage

Understand loss as in the past 5-10 years I’ve lost both my grandfathers and a cousin for medical reasons who was only 6-7 years older then me. And in between February-September/November I e had 3 cousins try to take their life’s but did not succeed plus one grandmother has had so many problems sine last year. So as I said if you ever need to talk I’ll listen or read about it 😂 no matter what it’s about ok.